The Post Whatever Thread

[dumbest man on earth]

The story is told that on one of W.C. Field's movies they would not let him drink on the set.

He got around this by bringing Screwdrivers in an orange juice bottle. Someone poured his Orange Juice and Vodka out and refilled it with just orange juice.

W.C. supposedly finished a scene and made a beeline for his bottle. He grabbed it up, took a big ol' drink, started choking and spit it out screaming "Someone put orange juice in my orange juice!!"

 

[dumbest man on earth]

Ask either one : if I asked the other guard, which door would he tell me was not the exit?
Turnabout be fair play!

 

[wegs]

I didn't want you to have to get down into the hole. Anyway sometimes I just feel like a Wegs...

lol You're so silly, sometimes.

For Wegs:


You’re in a room with two doors. There’s a guard at each door. One door is the exit, but behind the other door is something that will kill you. You’re told that one guard always tells the truth and the other guard always lies. You don’t know which guard is which. You are allowed to ask one question to either of the guards to determine which door is the exit.

What question should you ask?

Ask the guards what door the other guard might tell you is the exit, then choose the opposite door. (Confession, a coworker gave me this riddle, recently)

 

[wegs]

The story is told that on one of W.C. Field's movies they would not let him drink on the set.

He got around this by bringing Screwdrivers in an orange juice bottle. Someone poured his Orange Juice and Vodka out and refilled it with just orange juice.

W.C. supposedly finished a scene and made a beeline for his bottle. He grabbed it up, took a big ol' drink, started choking and spit it out screaming "Someone put orange juice in my orange juice!!"

I wonder why OJ and vodka is called a ''screw driver.''

 

[dumbest man on earth]

I wonder why OJ and vodka is called a ''screw driver.''

"According to Business Insider, the screwdriver was named decades ago, when American oil workers in the Persian Gulf added vodka to their orange juice to make their job a little easier. Alas, to mix their on-the-go cocktail, they needed a spoon, but there aren’t that many spoons lying around the oil fields. To solve this problem, they used a screwdriver instead. Presto! The screwdriver was born." - https://www.thedailymeal.com/drink/origin-screwdriver

 

[Seattle]

I wonder why OJ and vodka is called a ''screw driver.''

Word is someone made that drink, on the fly at work, and stirred it with a screwdriver.

 

[wegs]

Okay, one more.

If you have it and you reveal it to other people, I’m gone. What am I?

 

[wegs]

"According to Business Insider, the screwdriver was named decades ago, when American oil workers in the Persian Gulf added vodka to their orange juice to make their job a little easier. Alas, to mix their on-the-go cocktail, they needed a spoon, but there aren’t that many spoons lying around the oil fields. To solve this problem, they used a screwdriver instead. Presto! The screwdriver was born." - https://www.thedailymeal.com/drink/origin-screwdriver

Word is someone made that drink, on the fly at work, and stirred it with a screwdriver.

Wise minds, eh?

Cool, now I know.

 

[dumbest man on earth]

Okay, one more.

If you have it and you reveal it to other people, I’m gone. What am I?

I would tell you Wegs, but its a secret...

 

[wegs]

I would tell you Wegs, but its a secret...

lol Can't stump you.

 

[dumbest man on earth]

Is it true that smiles is the longest word in the English language?

 

[wegs]

Is it true that smiles is the longest word in the English language?

Well let's see, if I had to guess, yes? Since there's a mile between the two s's

 

[dumbest man on earth]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobo's and Tramps,
Cross-Eyed Mosquito's and Bow-Legged Ants.

I'm here in front of ya', cause I'm not behind ya',
I'm here to address ya', cause I can't undress ya'.

It seems that one dark night in the middle of the day,
two non-existent boys never went out to play.

Back to back they faced each other,
pulled their swords and shot one another!

Two deaf policemen heard the noise,
came and arrested the two non-existent boys!

Now, lest you think this tale is tall,
just ask the blind man...cause he saw it all!

- written on a wall

 

[dumbest man on earth]

When sitting, I have something...but I never have it when I'm standing...what is it?

 

[wegs]

When sitting, I have something...but I never have it when I'm standing...what is it?

A lap.

Heyyy, you have to tell us when we get the answer right. *whine*

 

[Seattle]

OK Wegs, a bat is one dollar more than a ball and together they are one dollar and ten cents. How much is the ball?

 

[wegs]

5 cents?

 

[Seattle]

5 cents?

Yes ma'am.

 

[DaveC426913]

Time for a riddle, let's see if you get this...

In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half the lake?

47 days.

[ Too slow ]

 

[paddoboy]

Had cause to use a public toilet cubicle the other day. Some grafitti was scrawled near the bottom of the door, "Beware of Limbo Dancers"