The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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Here's some more:

Why are ethiopian blowjobs so good?
Because they always swallow! (probably spelt ethiopian wrong)

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!

How do they know Princess Diana used Head & Shoulders?
They found hers on the dashboard!

What do you say when you see your TV moving across the room at night?
Drop it nigger!

What word beginning with n and ending with r do you not want to call a black person?
Neighbour!

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
Acne doesn't come on a six-year-olds's face!

If you find these affensive then just fuck off! No one is being serious here they're just for laughs.

Some of these have probably already been posted but I couldn't be bothered to read through them all. (Love the thing about how much Jesus loves you btw!)
 
a joke

A catholic priest and a rabbi are driving down the road one day when they happen upon a little boy riding his bike. The priest looks at the rabbi and says, "Hey, let's fuck him!" and the rabbi smiles back at him and says, " Yeah....out of what?"

If that's already been posted, my appologies.
 
Englishman on holiday in Texas.
He wanders into a local shitkickers bar abd has a good few beers.
After a while, he notices there's one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.
The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol' Texan bull, etc.

The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving.
"No one's ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.
But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.
The crowd is awestruck. He's fast approaching the World Record.
The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.
Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face.
"Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How'd you do that?"
The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife's an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"
 
omgggggggg these are so damn funny!
i started reading these a while ago and i havent read them all so dont yell at me for repeats....

some sexist jokes (im not sexist)

why cant helen keller drive?
cus shes a women

why dont women need to drive?
cus there isnt a road between the stove and my cock

why dont women need watches
cus theres a clock on the oven, microwave, and coffee machine

wanna hear a joke?
women rights!


blonde jokes.

what do u call a pimple on a blonde's ass?
brain tumor

what did the blonds right leg say to the left?
nothing, they have never met


ok this one isnt rly offensive but i like it anyway...

a mailmen was on his last route of his career. everyone knew him and gave him presents to say goodbye.
he came up to the last house where a beatiful women was wearing a scanty robe.
she grabbed his hand, and brought him in. throughout the rest of the day and night, they made sweet sweet love.
when he woke up, she made him breakfast and poured him a cup of coffee.
he noticed a dollar underneath the cup.
he said"whats the dollar for?"
the women replied "i asked my husband what to do for u on ur last day... he said, fuck him! give him a dollar. and the breakfast was my idea.

eh, that ones not to funny but i dont wanna erase it all haha


finale...!

what did the blind deaf kid get for christmas??

CANCER!!!



whats worse then findin a worm in your apple??

the holocaust!




hahaha i love these jokes. ill be back in a few days, with more. keep them coming!!!!
 
most horibble joke ever how a about ' why did hitler comit suacide? well did you see the priceof his gas bill
 
A black man, a jew and a pakistani are waiting at a bus stop.
The black man says "what time's the bus due?"
The jew says "you never know since privatisation."
 
why dont u run over a blacks man bike becuase it is more than likely tour bike.


y dont black men like chainsaws cuase they say run nigga nigga nigaa


whats the differents between black man and bat man. bat man can go out with out robin
 
Why did the black man wear a tux to his visectomy? Because if he was going to be impotent, he wan't to look impotent.
 
“ Originally Posted by thenamespaul
what did the blind deaf kid get for christmas??

CANCER!!! ”

I think the traditional answer is 'leukaemia' but, nevertheless, probably my favourite joke of all time.
Click to expand...

He sure plays a mean pinball though.:)
 
A doctor in the maternity ward takes a baby from a cot and starts spinning it around by its ankles, smashing it into walls, drop kicking it down the corridors, etc. The mum runs after him, hysterical, screaming and crying and asks him what the hell he is doing. He says "Aah April Fool! It was dead anyway!"
 
So Oprah's at her doctor, he's telling her she needs to lose weight again, and then he says "ok, we're almost done, but before you put your clothes on, let's do one more thing, get on your hands and knees and have your head in the corner," she does it perplexed, he then he says "ok good, now stay on your hands and knees and crawl and stop at mid-wall, ok good, now crawl and put your head in the other corner, good, thanks."

So Oprah stands up and starts putting her clothes on and asks "what was that all about?" And the doctor says sheepishly "well, I was thinking about buying a black leather couch, and I wanted to see what it might look like."
 
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