The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a wall?
My dick while I'm doing it

Hitler was inspecting one of his camps when he met a little girl, so he asks the girl how old she is and she says "Im turning 10 tomorrow" to which Hitler responds "No you're not"

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Stole them from a "friend" btw... He's a jack anyway!

Edit: You should see the "Lisa Lampanelli" shows, there's two of them: "Take it like a man" and "Dirty Girl" - she's awesome! So much hatred in her shows, i laughed my ass off watching them !
 
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'Hitler was inspecting one of his camps when he met a little girl, so he asks the girl how old she is and she says "Im turning 10 tomorrow" to which Hitler responds "No you're not"'

jesus thats funniest joke for a very long time in thsi thread
 
what's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?

feeling up a dead baby with three nipples



If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is
around to hear it, is it still hilarious?



whats pink and chunky?

a baby with leprosy
 
What's the difference between a homosexual and my bike?

It's not funny when you throw my bike off a bridge!
 
q. how many frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

a. Dont know none have ever tried!

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q. What do you have if you got 10.000 americans on the moon?
A. A problem.
q. what do you have if you got 200.000 americans on the moon?
A. Big problem
q. what do you have if you got all the americans on the moon?
a. problem solved

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IceAgeCivilizations said:
What fat Brit would be good to substitute in the leather couch joke?
Click to expand...

Fern Britton.
Lisa Riley.
Dawn French.
Rik Waller.
Chris Moyles.
That Beth Ditto creature (hang on, she's a Yank I think...).
Vanessa Feltch. Feltz. Whatever.
Oh fuck it- the list is very nearly endless.
 
(This jokes works better when you tell it to someone)

YOU: Jesus Christ! Did you see on the news about that actress who was stabbed to death yesterday?

THEM (invariably): No. Who?

YOU: Ah, the blonde one... crap... what was her name?... Resse something.... stabbed to death...

THEM: Witherspoon?

YOU: No. With a knife.
 
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barney joke

this is barneys song with a few adjustments to it

i love u u love me lets tie barney to a tree with a knife to the back and a gun to his head sorry kids but barneys dead:jason:
this is just the start i'l show u some more
Q what do you call a bunch of pakis fallin over the vadigen
A Armageden

Q what did the doctor say to Gorge best 59 mins before he died
A its happy hour:eek:
 
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alah came to earth he said to his 3 followers i will give u £1000000 if you blow up 5 people the first one blows up 10 people and goes to hell the second one blows up 22 people and goes to hell the third one gets on the london tube everyone jumps off
 
Q whats the wost thing you can do to a dissabled person
A point to his wheelchair and shout bomb lol
 
why did the muslum cross the road


to get away from the mob at the other side
 
yo anti flag iv heard that joke before on the tv no offence

heres one for u
Q whats the worst thing you can play with a blind man

ready are u sure !

A hide and seek
 
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