Jolly Rodger said:
So you don't think a kid would be confussed?
Confusion about the self in such a manner comes from having those differences highlighted by others. Normal is normal to a child. For it to become any specific sense of normalcy, the child must be conditioned.
My point was a few posts ago was that you can explain to a kid the birds and the bees (where did i come from) in any situation, adopted or biological, although you would have to explain homosexuality at a lot younger age and also that fact that they are adopted.
I don't see why. Really. I'm not trying to be obstinate, but the child must first come to understand sex.
Anecdotally, for all the crap people give PBS these days, I'm as certain as I can be that I watched a woman give birth once upon a time. I was all of four or five at the time. I knew already that I did not live with anybody who gave birth to me, so the revelation struck me with a resounding shrug: "Oh. So that's what it is."
Living in a world of those silly, stunted, reserved, familial kisses, I thought the notion of "two men living together like they're married" more comedic than anything else. Raiding secret magazine stashes like any American boy, I was aware of the heterosexual obsession with sodomy before it even occurred to me this was what those men were doing. Lesbianism was a curious concept; it's hard to explain how that one tore through my school. It was a scandalous word one day, and then it went away, with no further attention given. Madonna's "Like a Virgin" stirred more interest when we realized there was some significance attached to the word
virgin.
The first time homosexuality became significant to me in any way was when someone told me a guy liked me. Coincident with my high-school psychology classes, I had written up his behavior to a number of Freudian issues I was learning about. Hell, I should have paid more attention. He was brilliant
and rich.
Despite all that, the focus on what gay men actually do didn't come until I was out of high school and living in Oregon, and these Christians started throwing a fit about it.
And suddenly everyone had a reason to care.
A child would not have to know at such a young age that they are adopted, they can be let down gently rather than.
I mean it would be alot for a kid to get all at once when they ask where do i come from don't you think.
It is better to know before there's a conditioned stake in the answer. The only variable is the skill of the parent in explaining the point.
I think it's a lot more to handle once the child perceives a comparative stake.
Well when a man and a women have sexual intercourse a baby is produced
but you are both men,
yes johny we are gay, that is when a man does not like a woman and they decide they like the same sex, so we are a couple they call us homosexual.
then where did i come from,
well you real muum was a junkie so we are looking after you.
so your not my daddys.
no johny we are just looking after you.
Hmm ....
• As I noted, the only variable is the skill of the parent in the explanation.
• What makes the explanation you've characterized any different depending on the sexual orientation?
My female progenitor was a whore. I don't see how she matters. My Mother is my Mother, my father is my father, my family is my family; and I don't see how it's any different that my family includes a nonviable female reproductive unit in a parental role compared to two male units regarding the question of whether Joe and Bill are Teddy's daddies or not. A child's parents are a child's parents, and it's left to
other people to choose to diminish that fact.
• • •
A few notes:
•
Numbers are coming down. Erroneous is a prior statement that the numbers don't seem to be coming down. Coupled with the issue of whether the numbers included foster care, numbers related to the foster-care statistics suggest that the mysterious January, 1999 figure of 110,000 that I used, and for some reason, have lost my source for, is in fact
low. The 118,000 from August, 2004, matches the number for September, 2003, as well, and is down from 131,000 in 1999.
•
Who is adopting? Infoplease notes: "According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in 1999, 33% of children adopted from foster care were adopted by a single parent, the overwhelming majority of which were single women (31%)."
•
Taking care of our own? The same page also reports that the number of international adoptions bringing children to the United States is increasing. In 1992, according to HHS statistics, 6,472 children were adopted from abroad. In 1999, that number was up to 16,396.