Scivillage

There was a bar? Man, i missed that.

I left early so the boys could do some male bonding over mating paper elephants. Its good to see them talking a bit, although i do forsee some contriversy in the future.

I rejoined the group to find both boys doing the usual manly drinking things (singing badly, telling raunchy jokes until they noticed me, wrestling, slapping each other) so i left them to it, and curled up with my new mink and bottle of scisambucca. Got happily drunk, debating physics and Newtons law to myself. Inv came out for a bit, and debated drunkenly as well, until well into the night. I tried to convince him that the duck arse look is so yesterday.
 
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spuriousmonkey said:
SCIVILLAGE
report by:
Outcast: spuriousmonkey

DAY1

It was another typical day at scivillage for me. I had been quite lucky lately I guess. I had made myself a canoe by hollowing out a tree and had used it to visit another village far downstream. People didn't know me there and that was what I liked. I had even met a girl there who wasn't repulsed by me as the local girls were. During my last trip she had discovered my outcast status and had casted me out.

I was back to myself now. I sat at the edge of the village surveying it. The village was still quite peaceful. People at scivillage tended to be lazy. Nobody had bothered to get up yet. People would start coming out of their huts any moment know so I got up and left. I would make some nice clay pots with erotic decorations which I would sell later to the lonely men of scivillage. I usually used the money i got for this to buy fermented fruitjuice from Rogue. I had the feeling he had been diluting his shit a bit too much lately. ScRaMbLe and RebelWithoutACow had been complaining too.

My next project would be to set up my own distillery. I had to do it in secret though. Korey the priest would condemn this worshipping of the ever filled glass of fermented fruit juice and probably conspire with swedishfish to have me executed by Dr. Lou Natic.

But I wasn't afraid. I had been secretly collecting the necessary equipment and hidden it well. I innocently had asked zonabi, our local alchemist some random questions, a few of which on distilling.

But now I was heading to my own hut. I needed cash.
Click to expand...


see the very first sciforum report...by me myself and I. Rogue had a bar.
 
(Maybe the bar collapsed in an earthquake? I hear the drinks there were crap anyway. You're all probably better off with scirum. And now, Sexy Blue has brought a new alcoholic delight to the village, scisambucca.)

After Alain and I had discussed art till the small hours, we arose and stumbled into town. Whew, I never drink and here I am drunk again. Living in scivillage is being a bad influence on me. I asked Alain where he was staying and he seemed to get kinda dodgey about it. Like he had something to hide. Once again, my jealousy flared up. Is he staying with Sexy Blue? I told him that I had built a house for Padma who had not returned to the village for quite some time. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if he stayed there until she got back.

After seeing Alain safely to Padma's house, I decide to go visit Sexy Blue. I almost got to first base last night at Dead Man's Curve, maybe I could do better without interruptions.

When I get to her house, I find her laying in her hammock tipping back a bottle of scisambucca. I pull up a seat and pour on the charm. She tried to tell me that my new hairstyle was out of date, but I was too drunk too accept it. I kept saying "But the Fonz has a duck's ass and he's cool, ain't he?"

Kunax was creepin' by in the night. I tried the old beastmaster line, "Be careful, the tiger is fierce." But Blue wasn't quite so drunk that she didn't remember Kunax. Damn, should have used the line before she got to know him. Now it's too late.

I apologize for being such an ass the last couple of days, I don't know what came over me. I ask her how she likes her new workshop, I haven't had the chance to talk to her about it since her return.

She says it lovely and thanks me for building it. She suddenly leaps out of the hammock. "Oh, I want you to see my latest work. It's not finished yet, but you'll love it." I follow her into the workshop and she shows me her unfinished hang-glider. Somehow, while inspecting the fabric, I stumble and fall into her. We tumble into the fabric and wind up getting hopelessly tangled together.

Outside, the tiger roars in the forest. I try the beast is fierce line again. Drunkenly forgetting that I've already used it.
 
When we were inspecting the hang-glider, Inv lost his footing, and instead of holding him, i slipped too. In a normal situation, this would be easily solved, but for two seriously intoxicated people, it is not a simple task. The alcohol has had some serious effects on my balance, so in the act of standing up, we both end up more tangled up and again on the floor. I suggest sleeping here for the night, as at the time, it seemed far too difficult to get up. Anyway, its a nice evening. I closed the door, to stop any wandering tigres from walking in, and fall asleep. Nex said he'd keep an eye out for tigres
 
Good idea, it's too far to walk home anyway. I'd probably fall in the pond. I don't trust the squid. I think they'd take advantage of me if I fell in the pool while drunk.

Somehow, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched.

Also, the tiger seemed to have quieted down, I could no longer hear his roars in the distance.
 
I woke up with the worlds worse hangover, and the feeling of disorientation. After lying there for a few minutes, i had a vague recollection of drunkenness and falling. And the worst feeling that i should be paying attention to whatever happened to Flossy. Probably drinknig off the shame.
Na, the sun's still up, too early to get up. I fall asleep, with the lingering thought of
"Why are Inv and I sleeping in the middle of the workshop?"
 
Moving into the forest I dont have to wait long before a unsuspceting deer pass my hidding place, it is swiftly killed with a bite to the neek.
Just as im eating my kill spuriousmonkey stumples out the forest, a bit more drunk the usual. His been follow me since the village and as he closes in, he point and says "you take my cupcakes, now I'll take your meat" then he launchs himself towards the deer and start chewing, starting a new eating competesion.
When we are finished, I stand clearly as the winner, because i have the biggest teeth and the longest tail

Back in the village, i looking true a crack in Sexy Blue workshop I see movement inside, walking around to the double doors in the front I try to pry it open, sofar no luck.

(edit: the bar can proberly be fixed with a little paint and a new building)
 
i sent a huge bouquet of scirises to spurious first thing this morning with a note attached saying "you're a very attractive monkey". i feel just awful for offending him. it's just that fish and monkeys can't mate.
it's hot in the forest today. it's already 28 in the early morn. it might be 35 in the afternoon. a swim would be divine. i went over to the blue footed ones to buy some bubble bath, but i saw her passed out on the table. maybe the robot killed her! i ran back to my hut as fast as i could, turned out the lights and locked myself in. on second thought, the whore might finally find the hut. so i left a note on the door: "no sex today".
 
Urrghh... My head... Aagghh... I think I'm dying. I struggle to my elbows and blearily look around. Sexy Blue's workshop? Oh, yeah... Blue lies curled up next to me. She's sleeping so peacefully, I don't want to wake her up. I carefully get to my feet and stumble outside. Aaaghh... So bright... I squint my eyes to keep the worst of the glare down. Brrr, it's a tad chilly out this morning. Where's my jacket? Oh, Blue's using it for a pillow. Oh well, maybe the cold will wake me up a little. I don't want to seem like I'm sneaking away, so I go pick some flowers and make a bouquet. I set the bouquet next to Blue with a note. I look at her for a moment, capturing the moment in my mind so that I might transfer it to canvas later. I then pull some of the fabric over her so she won't get cold and make my way to the pool to wash up.

On the way, I pass by SwedishFish's hut. There's a note on the door. "No Sex Today." Hmm, that's too bad. Must be a local religious holiday or something. I leave the oil Blue brought back for me on her door. I understand that she often serves SpuriousMonkey and the Robot tea. Now she can have something for the Robot.

I get to the pond and shuck off my jeans. I realize that I left my shirt behind with my jacket. Oh well, good excuse to go back later. I dive into the water. COLD! COLD!!! The water is so cold that I almost can't even feel the squids as they slither about me.

After the bath, I feel much better. Almost human again. The day is starting to warm up now. I lounge about beside the pool for a while soaking up some sun. Then I head home.

Flossie looks like he hasn't been to sleep yet. He's been drinking all night. The head and front half of Snuggles is laying besides him. Every now and again he reaches over with his trunk and caresses it. Poor Flossie. I think his heart's been broken. I should probably try to find a mate for him. Spring is in the air and thoughts turn to love.

But, first I have to paint before the image of this morning fades from my mind. I set up my easel on my balcony and start painting.
 
i wake up and spend a lazy morning thinking about trivial things of the upmost importance

after being formally accepted into the cool crowd in the village, i started to think about what i could bring to the village, invert said that i was pretty good at art, maybe i could help him with some of his art, but then my brain kicks in, would i really want to spend too much time with him? probably not, but i decided to give him a chance anyway.

but then my nose kicked in, my nose was telling me that i didnt want to hang round that smelly guy, so, back to square one of deciding what to do
 
(aren't we in the middle of winter?)
I woke up to a bunch of flowers. Owwwwww..... ARGHHGHGH nooononoooo, there's a picture of me...... NO PICTURES!!!!!

Ah, I probably should have told them about my phobia of pictures. It's probably why i sailed here, if i could remember.

To make it up to Inv though, i make him breaky, and tell him that he can keep the canvas if he would like to. Even got him his trousers back from the pond.
Alian seems to be keeping his distance today. I'm beginning to realise that people may be beginning to wonder about me, especially after i saw the NO SEX TODAY sign outside. And i started off with the whole sweet and innocent image happening as well. :bugeye:
 
I finished my painting. Beautiful, if I do say so myself. I hang it on the wall next to the others. I go back to the balcony and look around. No sunbathing going on. Maybe Blue's still hung over. Poor girl. I'll have to head over to her place later and see if she needs anything.

First, I figure I'll wait by the pool for a while and catch some rays. I see Alain wandering around like he needs something to do. He sees me and starts to ramble over; before he gets too close, he wrinkles his nose and turns around quickly walking in the other direction. Hmm, wonder what's up with that? I don't stink do I? I bathe everyday, with soap even. I give my pits a quick sniff. Nope, everything fine in there. Of course, if I did stink, I probably wouldn't smell it. Maybe I should ask Sexy Blue to invent some deodorant to go with the soap.

I remember Alain going on about the lack of a bar in town. Maybe I could build one or renovate the old one and he could become a bartender. But, who'd want to spend all day in a smelly bar when the countryside is so beautiful around here. I know, I could make it an open air bar. Maybe some kind of retractable roof in case of rain. Yeah, I run back to my house for my sketchpad and start drawing plans for various designs.

The real question would be where to put it. My first inclination is by the waterfall, but do I really want a bar so close to my house? Well, we can work those details out later. Hell, I don't even know if he's game to be the town bartender. If not, it could always be a serve yourself bar.

As I leave my house to return to the pool where I can think better, I see that Flossie has finally passed out. His trunk entwined around Snuggles' trunk. That's so sad. I'll have to go on an elephant hunt tomorrow. See if I can't find him a mate.
 
(Blue, you're obviously in the southern hemisphere, I take it? Sunny and warm up here in the north. :p Thanks for the trousers, I have a bad habit of forgetting to put my clothes back on. :D And about the painting, you must remember that it's a painting not a photograph. I assure you that you're the vision of loveliness in my mind's eye. ;) )


BTW, I'm really too shy about my paintings to show them to anybody yet, I just hope the Robot doesn't tell on me. He's the only one that knows about them. Well, I guess you guys know I'm into painting, but the subject matter is unknown.
 
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(Where at in Oz? In the desert? I saw a movie on the Independent Film Channel a while back. It was named after a town, don't remember the name though. It was a town at the end of the railroad down there. Out in bum-fucked Egypt. It actually kinda reminded me of my hometown in Kansas. Little tiny town full of weird people with nothing to do. Wish I could remember the name. I was actually entertained by it.)
 
Scivillage report
spuriousmonkey - outcast
'Oil spill'

Although the robot is quite useful it is also rather annoying. It starts cleaning the place at 6 in the morning which is both useful and annoying. I gave the robot a name: Bob. I can call him Bobbie though.

There was a new note on the door. It said: "You are a very attractive monkey". That made me rather confused. Was this an invitation to show more incentive?

I polished my robot and put on my best flip flops and filled a bag with my best scirum and headed towards Swedishfish's place for some tea and cupcakes.

There was a note on the door: "no sex today".

Women can be so complicated. I picked up a stick and banged the robots head with it because it hurts too much to bang my oan head. Was this note meant for everybody, the milkman, an unknown or for me?

The robot disappeared for a second and came back with an oilcan. I told it firmly to put it back where it belongs because I didn't want to offend swedishfish in any way. I waved the stick in the air to further emphasize my position on this matter. The robot seemed unperturbed. I hit it once on the head to reinforce my position. Bobbie grabbed the oilcan even tighter and squeezed it against its metal body. "Now now...come on, be a good lad and give daddy the oil", I said in my most strict manner. The oilcan was squeezed even tighter. That was too much for me. I started swinging my stick and making good contact with the end of the stick and the top of the robot's head. Dents appeared in the previous pristine metal. The robot was stubborn and squeezed the oilcan even more...

The oilcan couldn't resist this mechanical force any longer. A fontain of oil squirted from the oilcan covering both me and Bobbie under a greasy layer of slik oil. That was not the only thing that got covered with oil. The facade of swedishfish's hut was similarly smeared with sticky oil.

I stopped hitting bobbie and we both looked at each other. The next moment we were both running home covered in oil hoping that nobody had noticed.
 
Hmm, it is not that entertaining in this village...
Of course, there are some funny people around. Ah well, I need some meat, so I grab
my spear and go into the forrest to hunt.
But this time, I think this time I´ll only stay a couple of hours and not weeks in the forrest :D
 
i saw the funniest thing happen today, spurious monkey started bashing up a robot, and it ended up with them both covered in oil, i drew a picture of this, but because of my lack of drawing skills it was just a coupla stick figures, oh well

after id hung up my 'masterpiece' i had a great idea, if i became a bartender, i could get lots of scirum :) ill get the bar fixed up and become a bartender, itd be great
 
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