Scivillage

Another glorious morning in scivillage. I go once more to my balcony to survey what I might see. It's a quiet morning, seems like I'm awake before everyone else. A light fog drapes the valley like a velvet glove. The tiger roars in the distance.

I make out the form of the Robot standing outside of SpuriousMonkey's house. It looks like it's wearing pants. That's odd, I thought, but odder still was the strange angle at which it's head canted. It seemed somewhat misshapen as well. I couldn't get a great view from this angle, maybe it's a trick of the mist.

I'll have to ask Blue to invent some binoculars or a telescope. Excellent view up here, if I could see far enough. I should round up that bell and make a village warning bell. If anything should happen, I'd be sure to see it coming up here. (Not that I foresee any invasions or anything. ;) Although, wasn't there a mafia family that ran this town at the beginning? I seem to remember rumors of a rebellion as well.)

After I finish hanging the bell, I notice Dreamwalker packing up his gear. Looks like he's heading out on a hunt. I ran to catch him before he leaves. I offer him a proposition. If he'll help me track down a female elephant for Flossie then I'll build him a house. Hell, I'd probably build him one anyway, "But how about lending a hand, you seem to have excellent hunting skills. If anyone is the great white hunter around here, you're it."

Mind you, I want it alive. And it's got to be hot. Can't get Flossie a dog, now can I?


Hmmm, I just had a thought. What if I used Flossie's horniness to perform an experiment. What would happen if I could convince Flossie to mate with a pig? It's definitely got possibilities. Would need some type of concoction from Sexy Blue to allow the cross-species fertilization to take place. I bet she won't go along though. Too bad Dr. Lu isn't still hanging around, he was a doctor not a scientist, but he might be able to come up with something. :D
 
You want me to catch an elephant? That should not be that difficult.
So let´s get out there and track down an elephant.
Female you say?

The morning fog will surely make it hard to hunt, I hope it lifts soon...
Invert and I are heading into the forrest to catch him a female elephant.
It took me quite a while to discover the tracks of an elephant. They are not
very old, I suppose we follow them.
Damn this fog, searching a grey elephant in equally gray fog...
 
Watching hiddin in the fog as Dreamwalker and Nexus sets off on there joyrney to catch a elephant with there bare hands. This is goiong to be grant, how are they going to catch the heavy animal and what about the other elephant in the pack. I desides to follow after from a safe distance where i will not be seen or tranpled but still able to see the show.
 
We set forth into the steamy jungle. My jungle guide, Dreamwalker, is a hulking brute that seems to know the ways of the jungle as though born to them. I have no fear for my safety as a consequence of this. The only danger I could foresee was if my guide should turn on me. But, I have, hidden at my side, a mini-blowgun and darts tipped with Cannibal X toxin. I have been secretly practicing at home in front of the mirror, and I believe I have become a quick draw artist. "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, you must be talkin' to me cuz I'm the only one here. You talkin' to me? Oh, yeah!" So I held the utmost confidence in my ability to defend myself should any circumstance arrive.

Before we set out on our expedition, I had visited Sexy Blue. I mentioned to her my idea of getting an elephant and a pig to make sweet love, but she responded only with chilly silence. I had known she wouldn't go for it, but I had to try anyway. What this town needs is a mad scientist. Perhaps I should take up another hobby?

Anyway, after failing to convince her of the breeding experiment, I told her of my plan to track down a mate for Flossie. I had hoped she would like to travel along, after all a trip into the bush is sure to present opportunities for scientific discoveries of some kind. But, she was too worked up over her hang-gliders and couldn't be torn away from her research. She wished me well on my journey and gave me a kiss on the cheek for luck. Blushing, I gathered my shirt and jacket and set forth on this grand expedition.

Dreamwalker interrupts my reverie by raising his hand and giving a grunt. "Ugh, we are being tracked."

I look around, but see nothing. The jungle is full of the sounds of native wildlife, birds in the distance, howler monkies in the canopy. I could detect nothing unusual. I started to say that perhaps it's nothing.

Suddenly, DreamWalker spins on his heels and hurls a spear into the bush. (Are you using a regular spear or a spear thrower?) I see a flash of orange and hear a yowl of pain and outrage.

Kunax lunges from his hiding place. It appeared he had reacted in the nick of time and reduced the wounding to a mere nick on his tail. Before we could react, he was on DreamWalker. They were knocked to the ground in a furious, scrambling heap. They wrestled with one another. Biting and clawing, they tussled, making odd sounds of pain and fury.

"Wait, DreamWalker, this is Kunax! He's a friendly tiger. Kunax! This is DreamWalker, I'm sure he wouldn't have hurt you if he'd known!" I hesitate to try and break them up because their combat is so fierce. Never have I seen a man fight in such a bestial manner. Never have I seen Kunax fight with such viciousness and glee.

Gradually, I realized that the sounds they were making was laughter. They were just playing! I see now that Kunax had been taking it easy on us when involved in play-fighting previously. It turns out that DreamWalker and Kunax knew each other from jungle school. In fact, DreamWalker's adopted step-mother was Kunax's second cousin on his father's side.

Kunax made joking reference to how long it took DreamWalker to figure out he was tracking him. "You're getting sloppy, man-whelp."

I realize that DreamWalker can understand Kunax. I ask him if he has a babel fish in his ear too. Turns out that DreamWalker was raised by the beasts of the Jungle and understands their language naturally. (I had a tough time here how much to make you like the great white hunter, tarzan, or mowgli. :p Pardon for taking liberties. I tried to leave it as open as possible.)

Well, the next few hours are spent in the catching up of old friends. I hear many funny stories and gain insight into the character of both man and tiger, but am mostly left feeling like the third wheel. I wish Blue were here. Hell, even Spurious or SwedishFish, even though her sexual inhibitions are somewhat odd.

I get up and wander away from the group. I don't think either notice because they're to deep in conversation. I notice a flash of silver in the distance. Wait, there it is again. What is that? I try to get closer. Each time I reach the spot I think I saw it, I see it flash again, just a little further on...

A tinkling laughter rings faintly in the woods.

(BTW, about the elephants. I captured Flossie easily enough. :p I actually wasn't thinking in terms of a herd. I guess Flossie was a male and outside a herd. Any sexy female would have to be part of herd I'd bet. Any loners would most likely be malnourished and the like. Hmm, have to see what the tracker has to say. It's a good thing DreamWalker has the ability to speak to animals (at least some animals) since the babel fish are dead.)
 
First it's ape-slaves, now it's babephants?!? No wonder i don't understand men.
I know, i've been obsessed with these gliders, but they have me rather fasinated. I should have them finished tomorrow, as long as i can get the air con working. I met tarzan-man though, so that was kewl. I've got a telescope already from when i was trading with the other village, so pick it up when you get back.
Of late, i have been thinking about the voices i heard on the first few nights here. Wonder if there's been a history of that, or if it's just a fish thing.
Apart from that, i spent the majority of the day sunbaking.
 
(Oh sure, back to sunbathing now that I'm out of town. :p

Somehow, I just knew that you wouldn't go for the crossbreeding. We definitely need a mad scientist in this town. Your feet are too firmly on the ground. I mean, when will someone think of the radioactive monsters? :D)
 
with invert nexus out of town and sexy blue sunbathing, i saw this as a perfect time to get to know sexy a bit better... as a friend of course *wink*

i walk over to where she is and lie down next to her, i open my mouth to say something witty, but what comes out is
"so.. about that, weather"
she just turns away from me a bit, more then likely playing hard to get, not to be put of, i talk to her about many interesting things, especially my plans for when i own a pub, you can tell shes interested in what im saying, even though she tries to hide it
 
The sounds of laughter and conversation draw closer. They're just up ahead. It sounds like a party.

I come to the edge of a clearing. I am stupified by what I see before me. The clearing is decked out with ribbons and bells. Long tables filled with food and spirits stretch before me. The seats are filled with a variety of shapes and form. There were many man-like forms, some varying only by having a small "mutation". A dog-headed boy, a female with a long leopard tail and claws; some could only slightly be distinguished from human by some "thing" about them. It is hard to define, a lightness, translucency, a smudging of their form as though they somehow existed on a level just slightly higher than I. That I was only seeing them through a trick of cosmos. There were others, dwarvish-looking characters bowling in the corner. Some creatures were too fantastic to even describe. Vast diaphanous archangels glimmering in the light to foul, bestial monstrosities capering with delight.

I began to feel strange, an unreal sensation washes up my spine. I begin to feel as though I were experiencing a dream. I see the flash of silver again, at the head of the largest table. A vision of radiance that compels me to cast aside all sense of trepidation. I find myself entering the clearing. Running towards the vision. The creatures caper about me, offering food, drink, entertainment. I sink into an oblivious haze...


In my slumber, I have strange dreams about Alain horning in on my action...

(There, I got my apemen after all. It's not quite what I had in mind, but fulfillment nonetheless. :p Doubt if I could convince one of these guys to be my butler though. Maybe if I could beat them at some type of game... )
 
Yo, Tarzan here...
Invert, what you made up is all right, being a Tarzan like character is not that bad. And just as information I use a normal spear.

Sometime during my conversation with Kunax, I notice that Invert Nexus is gone. Where is he? His tracks lead deeper into the forrest. I better follow him, this jungle can be quite dangerous.
 
Inv, give up, ape-men on a different plane of existance are, most likely, not accustom to manual labour and servitude.
Yeah, i was hoping to sunbake in peace :p sometimes, a gal needs some space.
By the way, do you mind if i use your balcony to jump off? I want to test the gliders, and your balcony has the advantage of that if the gliders don't work, i just end up swimming.
Alain, i don't suppose you could incorporate the nightclub into your pub somehow?

Hey, does anyone know when Padma's coming back? I'm feeling outnumbered here.
 
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(Heh heh, I kinda think Padma's gone for good. It's a real shame too, she never even spanked me. She was the resident spankologist, and I don't think she ever got to practice her art. But, you never know, she might turn up out of the blue one of these days.

Sure, you can use my balcony... Shit, all the paintings are hanging on the walls. My obsession is soon to be revealed. :p

And about the ape-men, I'm thinking they're fairy creatures of some sort. It is said that fairies love games. If I could just beat them at a round of bowling or something, I might have a chance. :) )
 
Village Spanker that was her job. She chose it herself. Don't blame me. :p

And give it up? I take it you're referring to the ape-men? Well, I was gonna just have a comical little adventure and most likely end up with donkey ears or sleeping for 20 years or something; but, because of your lack of faith in my abilities, I think I might just come up with a workable scenario to come home with a servant. I'll have to think on this one awhile. Ready for some pixie dust? ;)
 
i was expecting tarzan to come back with you part-ape, and as his house isn't built yet, he was going to crash with you. Yeah, bring on the pixie dust.........
 
Live with DreamWalker?! I don't know about that. I could barely live with a robot, you think I could live with a jungle-man? Besides, I think he's happier in the wild anyway. When I build his house, I will have to make it rough and rustic, with aspects of nature incorporated into it. It will be my greatest work ever. Of course, I might just have a magical assistant to help me with the more fantastical elements of it.

Ok, let's see here...


I blearily open my eyes. Around me, the festivities continue unabated. I feel as though I've slept for a long time; but when I look into the sky, the sun is in the same position that I remember from earlier. Strange.

I rise to my feet. The strange denizens of this place notice my movement and begin to crowd around me once more. They offer me my every hearts desire. Fulfillment of body and mind. But, I am uneasy. I recall the warnings of my grandmother. "Beware of the sylvan folk, my boy," she would tell me, "they are not of this world. Their ways are strange and any mortal that should have dealings with them shall surely fall into trouble."

With that warning echoing in my mind, I attempt to make my way towards the edge of the clearing. Graciously turning down the offers that are made to me. Trying hard not to cause insult to these beings. I gradually get closer and closer to freedom. I can see the break in the foliage where I had entered this realm. It beckons just beyond reach. I lunge forward to reach it and...

"HALT!! WHERE GOEST THOU MORTAL?! IT WOULD BE UNSEEMLY TO ALLOW A MORTAL TO LEAVE OUR PRESENCE WITHOUT HIM TASTING THE FULLNESS OF OUR HOSPITALITY!!" boomed a voice that echoed in the glade. It seemed as though a mad cacophany of bells were pealing in my mind. My vision reeled and my escape route vanished, sealed by a variety of creeper vines and flowers.

"I just want to go home," I say pathetically, "nothing more. I thank you for your generosity, but my people are worried about me. They must think something has happened to me in the woods. I've been gone a long time." I turn and try to find the being that addresses me. The voice had seemed to come from everywhere, including inside myself. The assemblage of strange folk had grown quiet. An air of suspense began to build like a thunderhead building on a summer day.

"TIME NO LONGER PASSES IN YOUR WORLD, MORTAL!! IN THIS GLEN ALL IS AS THE BEGINNING! DO NOT SEEK TO DEFILE IT WITH YOUR CONCEPT OF TIME!!" A shadow passes over the sun and the atmosphere begins to take on a frosty air. My breath steams from my lips.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend. I just thought that my very presence here was somewhat disruptive to your party. If I just left, you could go on with your fun without me mucking it up." There, the flash of silver again.

"HA HA HA!!! WHY, NEXUS, THE FUN IS JUST BEGINNING. WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU TO AWAKE TO BEGIN THE GAMES! IT HAS BEEN A GREAT WHILE, EVEN IN OUR CONCEPTION OF "TIME", SINCE A MORTAL HAS JOINED US IN THE GAMES!!"

Lightning cracks overhead and the clearing is instantly black as midnight on a new moon. The crowd of beings begin to murmur. An uproarious chattering begins to escalate in the darkness. Cries of glee, cries of anger, cries of ambivalence. The night lasts an eternity.

Then, the light returns. I find myself in a new situation. The clearing and the woods are gone. Or rather, they're miles below me, seen through wisps of cloud, thunder, and hail. I am standing on a thundercloud.

Once more, the flash of silver. This time immediately in front of me. It coalesces into a form. A seven-foot tall figure draped in shimmering samite. A long tangled beard extends to his waist. His face is rough as the stone of the mountains. His hands grip a long gnarled staff. His eyes are the storm and twinkle with merriment or savagery, I know not which.

"WELL NOW...ahem, cough... Well, now. Are you ready to begin? What would you wager?"
 
My search for Invert did not bear fruit. I followed his traces but somehow,
they abruptly ended. Even Kunax can no longer smell anything of Invert.
Damn, what happened? How could he just disappear?
It´s like the floor of the jungle opened up and swallowed him.
I think I´ll wait here for a while. Mostly because I do not know where else
I could look for him....
 
(Heh, yeah, sorry to abandon you in the woods like that. :p When the muse hits, I must go where it leads. Don't worry, I'll be back. I gotta figure out what kind of game to play. I'm thinking maybe darts with lightning bolts or something. Maybe some sky bowling.)
 
("I gotta figure out what kind of game to play" ah so I'm not the only one a bit lost sometimes :). I had this idea of finding you in a patch of meat eating fungi producing some form of hallucinogen to catch pray, That way i would also take away your ape man.)

Our search for Nexus had ended in a small clearing where Nexus track ended abruptly, As Dreamwalker crushed down to study the last part of the track, i walked around in the edge of the clearing trying to hear any thing unusual in the dense jungle, but except for a strange buzzing(electrical) and the occasional lightning or 2, I hear nothing out of the normal.

Walking back to DreamWalker, I turn around facing in the direction of the sound, and just as I was about to tell him of the sounds i heared, I accidently slapped him in the face with my tail.
Forgetting my initial purpose I slapped him again, still he did nothing, so i slapped him for a 3rd time, this time Dreamwalker look up a bit annoyed, I acted like nothing had happened and avoided eye contact.
Finally Dreamwalker return to studing the track, and since he was looking away, I tail wag him for the 4th time. This time i got the desire reaction, Dreamwalker look back up, and with his best command voice demanded i stop, This was my cue to start wagging wildly in the general direction of Dreamwalker....


(Tigers: bad smell, color blind and excelent hearing(200 Hz to 100 kHz) :))
 
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