they to told me to hunt and kill spyder...
hmmmm.
Well Colm, no matter what they tell you remember you have full control at the end of the day. If they want you to kill, then what would really piss them off is if you don't kill. I'm pretty sure that you'd be really up for pissing them off, after all it's your prerogative, if people are misusing you then you need to defy them.
Just remember don't kill or attack anyone (Or injure/kill yourself for that matter), if you do that, they win.
Also understand who you think they are, isn't necessarily who they actually are. These people are all about deceit and have been for years. For instance You've mentioned Clarkson, Hawking's and of course Yamauchi. I'm pretty sure that they don't know who you are Colm, or anything about what you are facing. The reason for this is what you've been led to believe is a deception, a deception to keep you as far away from the truth as humanly possible.
Until you can start to distinguish between their lies, your own imagination in regards to trying to make sense of it all, then people will see you are delusional.
Believe me, it doesn't take much to falsify someone's voice pattern if they are a television celebrity (Its possible to create a voice using a computer, the more footage the more realistic the fake one is. The same can actually go for visual inputs too.) or to fake a foreign interaction through poor English. (Even as far as working a person up to the point of dropping back to their mother tongue when they insult etc)
All I can suggest is analyse every input, remember those inputs are 99.9% false, but since they are likely to maintain a human interaction and not go 100% computers there is room for "Err". Using the right thought patterns, arguments or unchoreographed plans it's possible to make them slip up. You'll gain far more intelligence on them through their slip ups than by listening to them directly.