Jokes and Funny Stories II
- Thread starter Billy T
- Start date
NT News newspaper 30 October 2020
Irish joke
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
Angelfish eyes tomato ass.
sculptor
Valued Senior Member
start with holy mackerel
.............................
the original I saw long ago had a bird between the fish and the eyes
for the bird; reference b & w tv show from the fifties Amos and Andy
and their friend kingfish
NT News newspaper Northern Territory Australia 14 November 2020
Friends email
An Irishman after much nagging, decided to take his Mrs on a holiday. They decide to go to Israel, and while undertaking some sightseeing in Jerusalem, the wife has a massive heart attack and dies.
Sadly the Irishman confronts the local Funeral director about how much for the funeral and burial.
The director offers his condolence and says that they have two price categories....To fly her back Ireland would be a hefty $35,000, or the more popular economical one, being buried in Jerusalem at $1500. The Irishman thinks for a while and says he'll prefer to fly her back to Ireland despite the expense.
The Director is somewhat taken aback and asks the Irishman, why he doesn't go for the Jerusalem burial much cheaper variety.
The Irishman laughs heartily and says, "I'm no fucking Idiot Son, why would I bury her here after what that bloke did 2000 years ago after they buried him.
Sadly the Irishman confronts the local Funeral director about how much for the funeral and burial.
The director offers his condolence and says that they have two price categories....To fly her back Ireland would be a hefty $35,000, or the more popular economical one, being buried in Jerusalem at $1500. The Irishman thinks for a while and says he'll prefer to fly her back to Ireland despite the expense.
The Director is somewhat taken aback and asks the Irishman, why he doesn't go for the Jerusalem burial much cheaper variety.
The Irishman laughs heartily and says, "I'm no fucking Idiot Son, why would I bury her here after what that bloke did 2000 years ago after they buried him.
What is the difference between yoghurt and the USA?
Sooner or later the yoghurt develops a culture
Sooner or later the yoghurt develops a culture
Son ask dad what are boobs ?
Well son boobs are a ladies breast
Breast go through three phases
At age her 20 a woman's breasts are like melons round and firm
From age 30 to 40 more like pears. Still nice but hanging a bit
Age 50 plus like onions. You see them and weep
Daughter asks mom what is a willie?
Well daughter a willie is man's pee pee
Pee pee goes through three phases also
Age 20 willie like an oak tree mighty and hard
Age 30 to 40 more like birch. Flexible but reliable
Age 50 plus like Christmas tree. Dead from the root up and balls are just for decoration
Well son boobs are a ladies breast
Breast go through three phases
At age her 20 a woman's breasts are like melons round and firm
From age 30 to 40 more like pears. Still nice but hanging a bit
Age 50 plus like onions. You see them and weep
Daughter asks mom what is a willie?
Well daughter a willie is man's pee pee
Pee pee goes through three phases also
Age 20 willie like an oak tree mighty and hard
Age 30 to 40 more like birch. Flexible but reliable
Age 50 plus like Christmas tree. Dead from the root up and balls are just for decoration