The difference is glaring and obvious. If only one in a 100,000 catholics, jews, muslems, or take your pick religion is an extreamist, you simply cannot blame the rest for something like this. MOST of the work that MOST churches do is GOOD WORK. You only hear about the bad shit in the news because it gets ratings. For every sucide bomber in the middle east 10,000 familys there would give any stranger the shirt of their backs, water, and invite them to eat at their table without hesitation (if you've talked to muslims in the middle east as I have you would know this too be true). You would throw away the whole bussel of apples for one bad seed.
Religion in itself gives people hope and community. It is only when the bad seed bend it towards its own terrible aims that it becomes a problem.
Honestly, the thing I would like to see would be people within these groups policing themselves more. All it takes is Jonny telling the cops, "Hey, Fred has been acting wierd lately and collecting guns. Thought you might want to know." However, this doesnt happen because of somekind of loyalty or just not believing that it can happen.
I do blame the so-called moderates, because it's they who give legitimacy to what I would call inherently extreme scriptures. The only difference is the moderate is either ignorant of what the texts say, or tempered by the relatively recent influence of science and secularism.
If you are suggesting that you cannot have hospitality without Islam, I think you are mistaken. This is standard desert culture born from necessity and water sources that are far apart.