I hate myself for even ever thinking to do this.
I have been straight person always, only girls excite me and I only want sex with women. Naked men do not make me sexual or do anything in me.
But nevertheless this did happen.
I was six years old and my cousin (guy) was four, I had experimented with everything at hand at that time and I wanted him to put my penis in his mouth. He did it and it felt good. I asked him to do it again but he refused and told me he wanted to try. So I did the same thing too. All this was 20 seconds the most. There was no sex. I was not erect but I liked that feeling. The 20 seconds of this have ruined my life forever as I have never told this to anyone. And my cousin has seem to forget it forever.
So now after years have passed by I feel this guilt within me and I never told this to anyone. And I am afraid to ask my cousin whether all this was for real...or was it a dream, I was only 6 and never has anything like this happened to me.
I am disgusted by what I did but I don't know what to think of it anymore. I am obviously straight person and not gay, but what do I tell my cousin? Should I even mention it? How should I feel? :shrug: I am now 20.
