How do you teach someone honesty?

Baron Max said:
Yeah, ....isn't in interesting that you make a firm statement, then in the very next sentence, you negate that first firm statement?! :D

Baron Max
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The first statement is the practical one. Although no one is honest 100 % all of the time it isn't practical to not trust anybody. This is why people have friends.
 
Enmos said:
With people you can trust, like friends and trustworthy family members. Of course, ultimately, no one is to be trusted a 100% all the time.
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True, sometimes even friends you think you can trust 100% can disappoint you. I found that as I got older more backstabbing started taking place.
The more successful I became the worse it got! Now I see it all the time.

I rather not have so called friends like that, so I have VERY FEW I call actual friends. In general
I like very few ppl.
 
shorty_37 said:
True, sometimes even friends you think you can trust 100% can disappoint you. I found that as I got older more backstabbing started taking place.
The more successful I became the worse it got! Now I see it all the time.

I rather not have so called friends like that, so I have very few I call actual friends.
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Yes, I only have a few true friends as well. When I am talking about friends I mean true friends, not the kind that come in dozens :)
 
cosmictraveler said:
Not if they were brought up to respect others. Were you brought up to disrespect others and take their things from them?
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There is difference between action and desire. They might not take candy from a certain age onwards. This will not be because they have turned honest. It's because they know that there will be consequences for this action.
 
shorty_37 said:
True, sometimes even friends you think you can trust 100% can disappoint you. I found that as I got older more backstabbing started taking place.
The more successful I became the worse it got! Now I see it all the time.

I rather not have so called friends like that, so I have VERY FEW I call actual friends. In general
I like very few ppl.
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If you have 2 very good friends in life you're very lucky for most "friends" only use you till they no longer need or want you for their purposes. Sad but true. I only have 1 very good friend now for the other few I had either died or turncoat.
 
cosmictraveler said:
If you have 2 very good friends in life you're very lucky for most "friends" only use you till they no longer need or want you for their purposes. Sad but true. I only have 1 very good friend now for the other few I had either died or turncoat.
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Me too, I have one really good friend...I lucked out and she actually lives right next door to me. Sometimes we have little tiffs over minor bullshit.
It never turns into a fight or anything. When it comes down to it I know
I can count on her, she has come through alot over the yrs.

I am trying to teach my older son to be careful. He is very social but I am trying to teach him to understand what a REAL friend is and what a USER is, just pretending to be your friend for their own benefit. He is already starting to get the idea.

My parents used to always use the term "so called" friends. I was very social back then. They used to say there are alot of users out there and to be careful. I used to think it was just stupid ramblings, because they were old and didn't have many friends themselves.

When I grew up .......I finally realized how wise they were.
 
Baron Max said:
Like most ideals, it don't work in reality.

Honesty can only work when everyone else is honest. When do you think that will happen?

Baron Max
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I agree. It's not a good idea to force yourself to be honest when others do not hold themselves to that standard and have long since given up to a world of lies. That's masochism. But you can strongly maintain honesty as a goal and you can see if you can expand careful the amount of instances where you are honest. And with small children you are relatively safe from the negative consequences of unilateral honesty.
 
Well look what happens here when you are completely honest about a topic.
Most of the time you get BLASTED! I know lol

I think some ppl are afraid to be completely honest about how they REALLY feel, because it will make them look bad.
 
shorty_37 said:
...I am trying to teach my older son to be careful. He is very social but I am trying to teach him to understand what a REAL friend is and what a USER is, just pretending to be your friend for their own benefit. He is already starting to get the idea. ....
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Huh, I've never had to do that. :shrug: I guess my kids have been smart enough to know that somone who isn't nice is someone you don't play with.
 
Orleander said:
Huh, I've never had to do that. :shrug: I guess my kids have been smart enough to know that somone who isn't nice is someone you don't play with.
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Oh mine are ok in that way. They pick and chose their friends. The older one now 11 is starting to realize though how some of his "friends" are getting kinda sneaky. It's not like they are not being nice. He has pretty good judgement, but I think that me talking about my past experiences with ppl or friends has made him more aware. He is pretty smart I really don't have any worries right now.

Its the teenage yrs I am dreading lol I think I have raised them pretty good so far, I just hope
they stay on the right track.
 
shorty_37 said:
...but I think that me talking about my past experiences with ppl or friends has made him more aware.
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Oh, ok. My ex sister-in-law had the same kind of talks with her kids. I only talk about my baggage with my friends, not my kids. My husband doesn't either. But I suppose if we had made worse choices of friends, we might have had that conversation with them.
 
Orleander said:
Oh, ok. My ex sister-in-law had the same kind of talks with her kids. I only talk about my baggage with my friends, not my kids. My husband doesn't either. But I suppose if we had made worse choices of friends, we might have had that conversation with them.
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I wouldn't call it baggage lol I call it sharing SOME of my experiences
growing up. I mean we talk about everything in my house.

Get this I was so ticked last week. I picked up my son who is in grade 1.
I ask him how his day went and tells my ok but some kid kept calling him the "B"
word over and over. I was like what? what "B" word....He didn't want to say lol
Anyhow another kid that walks with us (grade 5) Spelled B I T C H to me because he was there
when it happened. I was like what??? Apparently my son was playing soccer and he is very
fast and pretty good at sports. This kid got mad because he kept scoring, SO he called him
a Bitch over and over. My son said you shouldn't be saying that and to stop saying it. This kid
got right in his face and kept at it. Finally my son went over to the teacher and she came over
and said ohhhhhhh thats not nice and next time you are going to be in trouble. ( HOW ABOUT THIS TIME)
Anyway, So my son kept saying what if he does this tommorrow what should I do? because
I felt like hauling off and punching him in the mouth lol ( I felt like saying, Yeah you should ) Of course
I didn't.
I have never heard either one of my kids swear. I KNOW they know what the words are.
I tell them that too, I know you have heard and know the words but I better not hear you
repeating them. So far so good lol

But it is very hard to teach your kids the right thing to do, when there are other little brats getting in their faces. You teach them manners and right from wrong then they are surrounded by kids who just run wild.

My older one tells me, my friends don't have chores. I say good for them, You do and if you
don't like it maybe you would like to live with them. I can be strict, but also pretty fun and lenient
it all balances out.

I still get the I love you and hugs at bedtime. Sometimes just out of the blue so I think
I am doing a decent job lol


(Sorry if I got a bit off topic there)
 
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shorty_37 said:
Well look what happens here when you are completely honest about a topic. Most of the time you get BLASTED! I know lol
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Yep, kinda' funny, that, huh? ....LOL! People clamor for honesty, and I give them honesty, and they call me names and call me hateful. :D

shorty_37 said:
I think some ppl are afraid to be completely honest about how they REALLY feel, because it will make them look bad.
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I think you should change that to be "I think MOST people are....."

Baron Max
 
Why do you want to teach them honesty? This will just make life more difficult to deal with others in our society.
 
Baron Max said:
Yep, kinda' funny, that, huh? ....LOL! People clamor for honesty, and I give them honesty, and they call me names and call me hateful. :D



I think you should change that to be "I think MOST people are....."

Baron Max
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Yes you are right "MOST" When I agree with you sometimes, I get HATE MAIL LMAO
 
You can be honest even if others are not honest with you. I don't see how it hurts you to do so at all.
That reasoning is as lame as, "Why should I be a good person? No one else is." which, of course, ends up with no one being a good person, because they all have a built-in excuse.
 
"Simply because it is the virtuous thing to do" is not good enough reason for you?
It is for me.
 
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