For most people that statement creates a positive and absolute emotional response as it should, but does applying logic to womanbeating mean betraying yourself and human protocol?
Here's what it's like. I was at my ex-girlfriend's (we'll call her Karen) birthday party yesterday. She had been my ex for about 4 years. There was me, her, her boyfriend (Mark) whom she'd been dating for 3 years or so, and a bunch of friends.
Everyone was having a blast until about 11:00. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mark and Karen fighting and I got a vague impression that he hit her (I was drunk and a bit high). Then all the guy witnesses, myself included, went over and broke it up. Mark's cousin mentioned, "I lost all respect for him now. You just don't hit a woman"
Mark was pissed off. "You've never seen all the times she had been smacking me around."
After taking everything into consideration, I find myself in an uncomfortable place. From what I know, they'd been fighting for a while now. And I know Mark, despite his upbringing, is not a guy who hits women. They'd been in many fights and if anybody did the hitting, it was her hitting him.
After that, she was a basketcase, crying, saying, "It's not his fault, I provoked him."
This time, he open-handed her and people saw it. Didn't even leave a mark. If he actually wanted to hurt her, he could have. That doesn't justify anything. Personally, I would never hit a woman unless I had to.
The point is, looking and understanding the situation in a completely logical way sort of dissolves the cognitive dissonance created out of what Mark did. If a woman hits a man in the face and then that man hits the woman back with an equal amount of pressure and intensity, it's a huge deal. It's emotions. It's just something we have to live with. I'm not a bad person.
Here's what it's like. I was at my ex-girlfriend's (we'll call her Karen) birthday party yesterday. She had been my ex for about 4 years. There was me, her, her boyfriend (Mark) whom she'd been dating for 3 years or so, and a bunch of friends.
Everyone was having a blast until about 11:00. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mark and Karen fighting and I got a vague impression that he hit her (I was drunk and a bit high). Then all the guy witnesses, myself included, went over and broke it up. Mark's cousin mentioned, "I lost all respect for him now. You just don't hit a woman"
Mark was pissed off. "You've never seen all the times she had been smacking me around."
After taking everything into consideration, I find myself in an uncomfortable place. From what I know, they'd been fighting for a while now. And I know Mark, despite his upbringing, is not a guy who hits women. They'd been in many fights and if anybody did the hitting, it was her hitting him.
After that, she was a basketcase, crying, saying, "It's not his fault, I provoked him."
This time, he open-handed her and people saw it. Didn't even leave a mark. If he actually wanted to hurt her, he could have. That doesn't justify anything. Personally, I would never hit a woman unless I had to.
The point is, looking and understanding the situation in a completely logical way sort of dissolves the cognitive dissonance created out of what Mark did. If a woman hits a man in the face and then that man hits the woman back with an equal amount of pressure and intensity, it's a huge deal. It's emotions. It's just something we have to live with. I'm not a bad person.