Basically some churches here run this thing called an 'Alpha course' which is basically where they 'train' people to be christian. The people that go, (from what I have seen), are those on the edge, those unsure of who they are, where they are going in life etc etc. The stories of these peoples lives consistently revolves around their husbands running off or some other such 'tragedy' that has ultimately led them to the Alpha course.
My brother, (he's a bit of a lunatic), obviously became friendly with a couple of these people and ended up going to their church. He asked me to join him because I could see he wanted someone to be able to debate the claims, know what to ask etc and so on.. basically a voice of reason in a sea of madness, (not being offensive, just the best way I could explain it).
So basically you go along and for an hour or so have some beer/wine, some food if you want it and mingle a little bit. All the while some religious dude plays some religious 'rock' music, (it's always the same damn song). After that a preacher gets up on the stage and talks about a specific topic. Last night for instance was about god healing. The man spoke of these magical cases in Lagos where people with full blown AIDS have just got better after a little prayer. After that, except for last night, people break off into groups and discuss the issues. This is generally where I get to give it the atheist take, the other week I started earlier when the main priest asked if anyone had any questions.. Bad mistake on his part.
The first week I was there was funny.. The woman preacher got up on stage and spoke about how the church doesn't coerce people to go there. I agreed completely so stood up, raised my glass and said "thanks for the free beer!" (I found it funny at least)
Anyway, so as I said last night was about god's healing ability. So, the dude is like: "let's all speak to god and see if we can find someone here that needs our help".
They all do some weird chanting thingy.. One of them says "god has told me this person has a painful left shoulder".. Everyone looks around waiting for someone to say "me!!!!" but nobody does.
So then another guy is like.. "yes, I've been told he also has a leg problem".
Same result... This continued, even ending up with this person having psoriasis.
Seriously, it reminded me of those fortune tellers.. "I can see a number 7, and a person with long or short hair, with or without a tattoo, that is either a man or a woman"..
"ME! ME!"
So anyway, they turn up nobody so quickly forget the whole point of what they were trying to show and then were like.. "well, if anyone here has a problem we'll pray for them"
Of course I spoke up.. A few days before I went to the opticians and had to hand them my glasses to 'upgrade'. Unfortunately I only own one pair and can't see much without them. So I mention my eyesight and then a few moments later I was surrounded by 6 people, (please note these people were not the 'on the edge' people I spoke of earlier, these were the hardcores there to guide those on the edge).
They placed their hands on my forehead, I was seated. They all started mumbling - which for some bizarre reason reminded me of the X Files. While 5 were chanting or mumbling or some such thing, one person would actually pray out loud.. "dear god please heal Snakes eyesight blah de blah". Then the next person would pray out loud and the former speaker would go back to mumbling.
This went on for half an hour at least. I was almost convinced that I would open my eyes and be able to see a pair of ants bonking on the other side of town.
Alas it was not to be. They blathered on about the usual, (gods will and all that crap), to which I invariably pointed out Matthew 18, (if two or more people agree and ask for something it will be done). To this there was no answer.
Anyway, it led me to a conclusion. I said: "Look, no offence but for half an hour you have been praying for my eyes to get better and have been absolutely convinced that it would happen. All it would have taken is £500 and the same amount of time in front of a laser and my eyes would be better. You have action and inaction. Action is to go to a registered doctor, inaction is to pray. One works, the other is a complete waste of energy"
I can only :shrug: at the idiocy of it all.
So, anything anyone wants to say? (why do I get the distinct impression someone is going to come along and tell me they are not "real" christians (tm)?)
My brother, (he's a bit of a lunatic), obviously became friendly with a couple of these people and ended up going to their church. He asked me to join him because I could see he wanted someone to be able to debate the claims, know what to ask etc and so on.. basically a voice of reason in a sea of madness, (not being offensive, just the best way I could explain it).
So basically you go along and for an hour or so have some beer/wine, some food if you want it and mingle a little bit. All the while some religious dude plays some religious 'rock' music, (it's always the same damn song). After that a preacher gets up on the stage and talks about a specific topic. Last night for instance was about god healing. The man spoke of these magical cases in Lagos where people with full blown AIDS have just got better after a little prayer. After that, except for last night, people break off into groups and discuss the issues. This is generally where I get to give it the atheist take, the other week I started earlier when the main priest asked if anyone had any questions.. Bad mistake on his part.
The first week I was there was funny.. The woman preacher got up on stage and spoke about how the church doesn't coerce people to go there. I agreed completely so stood up, raised my glass and said "thanks for the free beer!" (I found it funny at least)
Anyway, so as I said last night was about god's healing ability. So, the dude is like: "let's all speak to god and see if we can find someone here that needs our help".
They all do some weird chanting thingy.. One of them says "god has told me this person has a painful left shoulder".. Everyone looks around waiting for someone to say "me!!!!" but nobody does.
So then another guy is like.. "yes, I've been told he also has a leg problem".
Same result... This continued, even ending up with this person having psoriasis.
Seriously, it reminded me of those fortune tellers.. "I can see a number 7, and a person with long or short hair, with or without a tattoo, that is either a man or a woman"..
"ME! ME!"
So anyway, they turn up nobody so quickly forget the whole point of what they were trying to show and then were like.. "well, if anyone here has a problem we'll pray for them"
Of course I spoke up.. A few days before I went to the opticians and had to hand them my glasses to 'upgrade'. Unfortunately I only own one pair and can't see much without them. So I mention my eyesight and then a few moments later I was surrounded by 6 people, (please note these people were not the 'on the edge' people I spoke of earlier, these were the hardcores there to guide those on the edge).
They placed their hands on my forehead, I was seated. They all started mumbling - which for some bizarre reason reminded me of the X Files. While 5 were chanting or mumbling or some such thing, one person would actually pray out loud.. "dear god please heal Snakes eyesight blah de blah". Then the next person would pray out loud and the former speaker would go back to mumbling.
This went on for half an hour at least. I was almost convinced that I would open my eyes and be able to see a pair of ants bonking on the other side of town.
Alas it was not to be. They blathered on about the usual, (gods will and all that crap), to which I invariably pointed out Matthew 18, (if two or more people agree and ask for something it will be done). To this there was no answer.
Anyway, it led me to a conclusion. I said: "Look, no offence but for half an hour you have been praying for my eyes to get better and have been absolutely convinced that it would happen. All it would have taken is £500 and the same amount of time in front of a laser and my eyes would be better. You have action and inaction. Action is to go to a registered doctor, inaction is to pray. One works, the other is a complete waste of energy"
I can only :shrug: at the idiocy of it all.
So, anything anyone wants to say? (why do I get the distinct impression someone is going to come along and tell me they are not "real" christians (tm)?)
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