Enmos
Valued Senior Member
Ok, my bad then. I thought you said you didn't know whether or not you believed in god.
Do you believe in Dinosaurs ?
- Thread starter jpappl
- Start date
Ok, my bad then. I thought you said you didn't know whether or not you believed in god.
your entire life.
i wanted to know the truth, either way. i had an abortion when i was 24 years old, and i had some unreconciled feelings about it i couldn't explain.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
Giving up to control over your life and the opposite of neglecting yourself ? How ?
So you were depressed for a fairly long period in your life then, up until you 'met' god ?
because it's an intensely introspective experience. another perceived, yet unadmitted drawback. intimidating...
no, i was depressed after that too. nothing to do with god though really, more about circumstances.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
I'm not sure I know what you're saying.
But could it have been your depression that turned you to god ?
superstring01
Moderator
Well said, Mr. Norse. Though, I don't buy a bit of it. I think that was one of the more succinct descriptions of ID.
~String
imagine your creator...someone who knows you inside and out...better than yourself even...who happens to be perfect...following you around everywhere you go holding a mirror in your face. does that sound pleasant to you?
nope. that didn't do it. that just made me self destructive. lol...
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
And how did you know it would be like that before you opened yourself up to god ?
I don't believe it would be like that at all.
You mean like neglecting yourself ?
So if that wasn't it, what was ?
i didn't know that...i just didn't care what it would be like.
well what the hell do you know?
no, more like escapist type behaviors. maybe even a passive aggressive suicide attempt.
i killed my child to escape the consequences of some bad decisions on my part. i just wanted to know if there was more to this world than what i could see with my eyes.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
I think the question is: What do you know ?i didn't know that...i just didn't care what it would be like.
well what the hell do you know?
es⋅cap⋅ism
–noun
the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind in entertainment or in an imaginative situation, activity, etc.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/escapism
How is that not neglecting yourself ?
Bad decisions ?
Why ?
gosh enmos, i've told you again and again! hmph!
mine was more materialistic and aggressive like drugs, sex, binge-eating, driving drunk, sleeping with guys when i didn't even know they're first name. stuff like that.
well if i was neglecting myself i don't think i would have been trying so hard.
yeah. the circumstances surrounding my pregnancy.
have you ever killed anyone enmos?
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
Yea, but when I think about what I actually know about god now.. there's not really that much you've told me about him.
Since you're still talking to him, perhaps you could ask him what I should do to get to know him ?
Huh, you did say passive aggressive, right ?
Mind if a venture a guess ? You drunk and did drugs while you were pregnant ?
My apologies if I got this wrong, but didn't you say earlier that you haven't ever done drugs ?
Um no. You just had an abortion though, right ?
Now come on! I've told you a lot about him, you just always attribute it to something else. In particular that in my experience I had to sincerely want to know him (if he existed), whatever the consequence.
I was just trying to escape life but I think that means I didn't value it.
Oh no, I've always been an abuser, except for a period of time following the trippy stuff. Nothing too serious...alcohol, weed.
And I'm sure I was while I was pregnant. All 6 wks of it, b4 I knew and after, as it didn't take me long to decide to kill it.
JUST an abortion? Yeah, that's what I was hoping for...
Enmos, the circumstances...
Just graduated from college in '91, mid recession and not readily finding a FT job in my field, working temp jobs during the day, bill collecting PT at night (yuk). Found evidence that my live in fiance (that I had no intentions of really marrying) was or had cheated on me. Went out that same night seeking retribution and fucked some 19 year old college freshman that I worked with but barely knew, and what I did know, didn't like, thinking that would make me feel better. Ha ha. 6 wks later, pregant. Would have had to have paternity tests, neither one would have made a good father, I didn't like either of them and I'm sure they both would have hated me. I had buy in from friends, my mom, society, and the means of course. I just wanted it to go away.
Just graduated from college in '91, mid recession and not readily finding a FT job in my field, working temp jobs during the day, bill collecting PT at night (yuk). Found evidence that my live in fiance (that I had no intentions of really marrying) was or had cheated on me. Went out that same night seeking retribution and fucked some 19 year old college freshman that I worked with but barely knew, and what I did know, didn't like, thinking that would make me feel better. Ha ha. 6 wks later, pregant. Would have had to have paternity tests, neither one would have made a good father, I didn't like either of them and I'm sure they both would have hated me. I had buy in from friends, my mom, society, and the means of course. I just wanted it to go away.
typical observance of the self over 'life'
imagine now; that 8 yr old that could be learning 'truth'
and you would have given up talking to God, by now (that kid would have straightened you out by now)
all you would have to say, just ONE time; "the hammer told me, you have be home by 7 and that would be it"
sorry to read, that you made just a horrid choice and have to live with it
be certain; you used the hammer the wrong way!
imagine now; that 8 yr old that could be learning 'truth'
and you would have given up talking to God, by now (that kid would have straightened you out by now)
all you would have to say, just ONE time; "the hammer told me, you have be home by 7 and that would be it"
sorry to read, that you made just a horrid choice and have to live with it
be certain; you used the hammer the wrong way!
You are WAY over the line.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
Hmm well, you've mostly told me stuff about you, what happened to you. Not much in particular about god though.
I was serious about you asking him, by the way.
Passive aggressive suicide is pretty much neglecting yourself to the point of death.
And you are absolutely beyond any doubt whatsoever certain that your drug abuse combined with your depression had nothing to do with your experiences regarding god ?
Well, when people are asked if they ever killed someone, abortion isn't exactly the first thing that comes to mind.
Ok, that kind of sucked for you, but I'm not sure that I see the relevance to what we are discussing though.