Degrees of Misogyny

Godot said:
Which gender do you think is more likely to compliment people on their appearance versus other attributes, women or men?
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Strangers on the street? Men. People I know, say like family and friends? Women and men. Or say I am in a store, at the cashier and the lady behind me will comment on how what I am buying is lovely and will suit my colouring, for example, as we stand there chatting as the cashier/salesperson rings it up and chats.. You know, general conversation that one often has in clothes stores.

But strangers on the street as I am walking down the street, jogging, walking the dog, riding my bike, driving my car (I've had men scream and comment on my appearance (not to mention one guy who pulled up next to me and asked me if I'd "like to ride his cock" instead of "playing with the gear stick".. in various ways at traffic lights and the like, sometimes even when my kids are in the car - which is why I never drive with the windows down now, despite living in a sunny state that often demands one puts down the windows and let the fresh semi-tropical air in and which is why I will never be tempted to buy a convertible, no matter how much fun they look and how much fun it would be to take drives to the beach in one with my kids), public transport, elevators... Men.

And it isn't complimentary. At all. It is uninvited, disruptive, intimidating, downright creepy and sometimes quite terrifying.
 
Bells said:
Strangers on the street? Men.
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No. Women.

Bells said:
I know, say like family and friends? Women and men. Or say I am in a store, at the cashier and the lady behind me will comment on how what I am buying is lovely and will suit my colouring, for example, as we stand there chatting as the cashier/salesperson rings it up and chats.. You know, general conversation that one often has in clothes stores.

But strangers on the street as I am walking down the street, jogging, walking the dog, riding my bike, driving my car (I've had men scream and comment on my appearance (not to mention one guy who pulled up next to me and asked me if I'd "like to ride his cock" instead of "playing with the gear stick".. in various ways at traffic lights and the like, sometimes even when my kids are in the car - which is why I never drive with the windows down now, despite living in a sunny state that often demands one puts down the windows and let the fresh semi-tropical air in and which is why I will never be tempted to buy a convertible, no matter how much fun they look and how much fun it would be to take drives to the beach in one with my kids), public transport, elevators... Men.

And it isn't complimentary. At all. It is uninvited, disruptive, intimidating, downright creepy and sometimes quite terrifying.
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You’re citing rude remarks and requests for sexual favors, not sincere compliments.
 
DaveC426913 said:
Good. Saying hello or saying 'You're beautiful' falls outside street harrassment and sexual harrassment.
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You do not get to define what she considers harassment.

Your persistent rejection of her human rights is exactly the problem.
 
Godot said:
You’re citing rude remarks and requests for sexual favors, not sincere compliments.
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Quit skipping out on the question:

→ What Bells' is describing is a simple onetime compliment.​

↳ According to whom?​
 
Godot said:
Don't be shy. Make your point.
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I would greatly appreciate your affirmative answer to the question.

→ What Bells' is describing is a simple onetime compliment.​

↳ According to whom?​
 
Godot said:
No. Women.
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Because women do not accost me on the street to tell me I'm beautiful, nor do they objectify me in that way. Men, on the other hand, do that.

You’re citing rude remarks and requests for sexual favors, not sincere compliments.
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It isn't a compliment.

Comments like that about my appearance, that you seem to believe are compliments, are not compliments and they are not taken or received like a compliment. Having some guy I don't know, randomly walk up to me, leering, licking his lips or with that particular look on his face to tell me I'm beautiful, is not a compliment. It's simply creepy and yes, threatening. Because more often than not, not replying results in my getting called a name, sometimes followed, sometimes questioned as to why I am not being more receptive to what he deems are his charms. If I smile and try and walk away, the same result. If I give a non-committal thank you and keep walking, same result or worse, then comes the questions about if I am married or have a boyfriend, if I say yes, I get asked, 'where is he then?' and then get followed. If I ignore it and keep walking, I have been followed and talked at, had the guy keep up and step in front of me to try to stop me, asked for my phone number, asked if my car is there - which if it is and I am walking back to my car, means that I have to keep walking in the hope of losing him, or running into a store and having to stay in there in the hope he just wanders away, and so on and so forth. Those are the good days, because no physical contact is involved. Sometimes they try and grab your hand or your arm and ask you to talk to them, all "nice" because they really think you're sooooooo beautiful and ask you out on a date and then starts questioning you why you are saying no or ignoring him. Then if you are lucky, he walks away and just calls you an "bitch", tells you he doesn't think you're that attractive anyway or a "cunt", "lesbian" - since you know, he's god's gift to women and the only way he can think that you would turn him down is to try turning being a lesbian into an insult, etc.

It's even worse when it happens in carparks and next thing you know, some weirdo is telling you how beautiful you are and following you as you are walking back to your car. There is nothing more nerve wracking and frankly terrifying than that and when that has happened in the city carparks, I have had to double back and bolt for the building I came out of and alert security.

So no, it isn't a compliment. Calling it a compliment makes it sound like I should be thankful or grateful. It turns it into something intimate of which I am a party to. It isn't.
 
Bells said:
Comments like that about my appearance, that you seem to believe are compliments, are not compliments and they are not taken or received like a compliment. Having some guy I don't know, randomly walk up to me, leering, licking his lips or with that particular look on his face to tell me I'm beautiful, is not a compliment. It's simply creepy and yes, threatening.
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You need to provide some sort of factual elements that can be evaluated to justify conduct that constitutes harassment. Objective offensiveness is a necessary factor. Claims that are insubstantial and based purely on subjective feelings will affect the credibility of those that are valid.
 
Bells said:
How many times do I have to say it's not a compliment before you actually grasp that it isn't a compliment when men harass women on the street?
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A sincere, single compliment from a stranger does not constitute harassment.

Harassment isn’t defined from a subjective viewpoint of a hypersensitive person. It does not include any speech or compliment. It has to be objectively offense to a reasonable person of the same gender.

Claims that are insubstantial and based purely on subjective feelings will affect the credibility of those that are valid.
 
Bells said:
Because women do not accost me on the street to tell me I'm beautiful, nor do they objectify me in that way. Men, on the other hand, do that.
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And there is a part of you that likes that compliment from a male stranger, however crude.
The bulk of this thread is you trying to deny that.

Plain women don't get compliments about their appearance, nor do ladies. The women who do get unwanted compliments are those that draw them in.

Not every woman can become beautiful, but every woman can become a lady.
 
mtf said:
And there is a part of you that likes that compliment from a male stranger, however crude.
The bulk of this thread is you trying to deny that.

Plain women don't get compliments about their appearance, nor do ladies. The women who do get unwanted compliments are those that draw them in.

Not every woman can become beautiful, but every woman can become a lady.
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I disagree.
 
Godot said:
A sincere, single compliment from a stranger does not constitute harassment.

Harassment isn’t defined from a subjective viewpoint of a hypersensitive person. It does not include any speech or compliment. It has to be objectively offense to a reasonable person of the same gender.

Claims that are insubstantial and based purely on subjective feelings will affect the credibility of those that are valid.
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Ya, it does constitute harassment.

mtf said:
And there is a part of you that likes that compliment from a male stranger, however crude.
The bulk of this thread is you trying to deny that.

Plain women don't get compliments about their appearance, nor do ladies. The women who do get unwanted compliments are those that draw them in.

Not every woman can become beautiful, but every woman can become a lady.
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I'm going to be absolutely blunt here..

What is wrong with you?

Because that, mtf, is absolutely sick and twisted and so wrong that there are not enough words in the English dictionary to describe just how sick and twisted that is. Please, seek help.
 
Bells said:
I'm going to be absolutely blunt here..
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As if you've been doing anything but "being absolutely blunt" so far ...

Because that, mtf, is absolutely sick and twisted and so wrong that there are not enough words in the English dictionary to describe just how sick and twisted that is. Please, seek help.
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Of course, being a lady is foreign to you.
 
mtf said:
As if you've been doing anything but "being absolutely blunt" so far ...


Of course, being a lady is foreign to you.
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Again, seek help.

If you think this kind of thing is going to garner a response that you may be trying to flame me for, then you are sadly mistaken. All I feel for you at this point is abject pity because you actually believe this way. It is possible something happened to you that made you be like this or believe as you do, or perhaps it's just you. But please mtf, at this point, you are embarrassing yourself and making yourself look like someone you possibly do not wish to appear as being. I'll admit, when I read your initial obscene response, I felt a flash of anger. But now, it's just pity.

Seriously though, seek help, because this is beneath any person.
 
Bells said:
Again, seek help.

If you think this kind of thing is going to garner a response that you may be trying to flame me for, then you are sadly mistaken. All I feel for you at this point is abject pity because you actually believe this way. It is possible something happened to you that made you be like this or believe as you do, or perhaps it's just you. But please mtf, at this point, you are embarrassing yourself and making yourself look like someone you possibly do not wish to appear as being. I'll admit, when I read your initial obscene response, I felt a flash of anger. But now, it's just pity.

Seriously though, seek help, because this is beneath any person.
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Maybe one day you'll grow up.
 
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