mtf said this: "Wait, I think I get it: _Anyone_ who dares to do anything but vehemently agree with anything Tiassa, Bells, and some others say, is, in the view of Tiassa, Bells etc. a misogynist, rape advocate, victim blamer etc."
I have felt exactly the same way.
Remarkably for one of my age and experience I have felt bullied by them.
While their intentions may be sincere their posts come across as knee jerk reactions.
Their misinterpretation of my posts and those of mtf is not accidental. I view it as a deliberate character assassination based on who knows what.
If their intent is to promote the safety of women from predatory men they are going the wrong way about it. Defaming the motives and beliefs of persons on the same side of the fence because they ask awkward questions, or do not align 100% with their views is despicable and cowardly and ignorant. Their actions, their words and their attitudes do their cause, their reputations and this site, no favours. They disgust me.
What was it that you said? Context and content?
Precisely. We are a social species and that requires communication.
To take an extreme example, do I need to get a notarised permission to say to someone - quite forcefully - "Look out, there's a truck!" In a more mundane situation should I feel offended if someone stops to ask me for directions, or declares "Isn't it a lovely day", or - while gazing down at the Thames from Hammersmith bridge - says "I love to look at the flow of the water. Do you ever pause to reflect on it?"
In each instance I have the option to ignore them completely, tell them to ****-off, give a polite yet non-committal reply, or seek to extend the conversation further. In none of these instances have my rights, or those of the person addressing me been violated. They may suffer disappointment at some of the responses, but that's life.
On the other hand if the conversation initiator says "How big is your dick?", or "Those tits are massive!", then the recipient of the question/remark is entitled to feel offended. If it happens down a dark alleyway at 2.00 am they are entitled to feel threatened.
Context and content are everything.
These were your words, yes? You were not channeling anyone while typing this? You were not possessed by a nefarious spirit while saying this? These were your words...?
The issue that arose with you, Ophiolite, is that your post completely and utterly ignores the context and content of what women endure. Just as it ignores the dangers and attempts to treat it as a non issue.
Worse still, you attempted to change the narrative and frankly set up a completely ridiculous scenario, as though you were trying to indicate when women should feel threatened (the ubiquitous 2:00am alone in the alley story, that so many have tried to use before you, fell into the exact same hole you dug for yourself) and when they should not (the presumably daytime scenario which attempts to pass off street harassment as something harmless).. And this came after your equally ridiculous examples..
But you utterly failed to account for what actual (real life) women experience. No, not at 2:00am in dark alleyways, which you determined when they should or are entitled to feel threatened. But in broad daylight, on busy streets, while going about their daily lives.
To suggest that they should only be entitled to feel offended...
How are we meant to interpret that, exactly? Men are murdering women in the street if said women act "offended", ignore, walk away, tell the men to fuck off, when harassed. There is no actual safe space for women to retreat to when it comes to street harassment. We do not know if the guy we are ignoring or telling to fuck off or give a "polite yet non-committal reply" is going to walk away or become violent. And this isn't the 2:00am dark alleyway scenario you enacted, to tell us that this is when we should really be entitled to feel threatened. Broad daylight. Women being injured or killed. On a daily basis around the world.
We do not have the options that you have. Why? Because you are more than likely never to experience this type of street harassment if you are not a woman or transgender.
Context and content.. When you go out of your way to trivialise the reality of sexual harassment of women in the way that you have, you are completely ignoring "context and content".
How do you think you came across, when you declared that I and other women should only be entitled to feel offended if sexually harassed on the street, when the reality is that it often becomes physical harassment and tragically, can end up with the woman either dead or injured?
I mean, is this the part that I say thank you for allowing me the right to be entitled to be offended?
Is this the part where I thank you for listing when you believe I should only be entitled to feel threatened?
Well gee, shucks, thanks Ophiolite. Because without you, I would never have been able to tell the difference of when I should be entitled to feel offended or in danger.
Do you have any idea of just how condescending you sounded?
The "extreme example" you came up with and the sarcastic comment about notarised permission.. Really, was that meant to be a joke? That's what you considered to be extreme? While you completely ignore and attempt to negate the fact that women are being beaten, stabbed, choked, run over by cars, shot for saying no or ignoring street harassment. You treated street harassment being discussed in this thread as being a non-issue. Mere communication. And the notarised permission comment.. You openly downplayed and turned street harassment and sexual harassment into something trivial, an eye-roll statement, not really worthy of addressing or thinking about.
Put simply, you not only attempted to change the subject and narrative, you also trivialised the actual danger that exists for women and our experiences when it comes to street harassment. And worse, you tried to mansplain the harassment I endure in doing so.
Believe me, Ophiolite, the disgust you feel about me in no way matches the disgust, disappointment and dismay I felt when I read your arguments in this thread.