Lori_7: Oh the magical mystical medicine woman who knows all and sees all. You know what? I've had about enough of your egotistical self-righteous bs.
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M*W: My observations still stand. I neither base my observations on any magical nor mystical powers, although I could be rich if I did. Obviously, I've hit a nerve here, so I believe I am on the right track in understanding you.
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Lori: Your "reading between the lines" is another way of saying "making shit up". "The hidden side of Lori"...lmao...do you hear yourself?????? Do you honestly expect people to take you seriously with crap like that??? I'm as honest as it gets babe...brutally honest. I am the real deal. And anyone who actually knows me will attest to that. Just because you don't agree with or happen to like what I say in no way makes it ok for you to say I'm a liar. I am not a liar. You take that back.
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M*W: I have never called you a "liar," and I have never "made shit up." I have a keen understanding of the human psyche, and I assure you, your's is not the first post where I've "read between the lines." I don't care what other people think of me nor do I care if you take me seriously. I made my observations openly and honestly, and I have not singled you out to "pick" on you. It's NOT what you said, but it's what you DIDN'T say that gave me insight into your message. Lori, I don't believe you to be a liar at all! I never meant to imply that you were lying. I can see that you truly believe the things you do. I don't question your faith in Jesus at all. I believe that you truly find happiness in your faith, but I also see that your faith is not truly fulfilling you as you would claim. Everyone has two sides -- the one on the outside that everybody sees, and the one on the inside that only you know. What happens is that when we aim to put on the outer 'facade' where we find 'protection,' we fail to acknowledge our innermost being. That goes for everybody, not just you.
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Lori: You wish it was screaming to come out don't you? Wouldn't you just love that? Well hon, you sure are pushing my buttons right now. :bugeye:
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M*W: No, this was not my intention; however, you may be wearing your buttons in a place where everyone can get to them and push them without effort. The Lori you have presented to us on this forum is exposing her buttons to us and daring that we should push them! I think that you should not be so generous as to dare us to push your buttons -- unless that's what your innermost being wants us to do???
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Lori: The fact is that given the way you guys go after me sometimes out here, you all probably see some of the worst of me. I've told you before that I horrify myself all the time with my own behaviour and sentiments.
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M*W: First, let me say that you may be empathizing with c20's untoward experience on this forum. You are an individual and not in any way associated with c20 -- except through your faith -- and again, that is the side both you and c20 have presented to the forum -- your outer or superficial sides.
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Lori: I truly wish that I could be better...so in a way, the fact that you see some bright and cheery "design" makes me happy...kind of surprised in a good way, cause I think that sometimes I can come across as being a bitch...I lack tact...not a diplomat at all...it's that brutal honesty. I desire to be honest without being brutal.
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M*W: Lori, I say it as I see it -- kinda like you. Sometimes I blurt out things that my mind has not had time to rationalize. It's like words come out of my mouth before I ever think of what to say in my head. However, I was not trying to say that you needed to be 'better.' I was only presenting the comparison of the inner and outer selves of our being. It's better to be honest, even if the honesty hurts.
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Lori: You may wish that this was a facade...that I was a liar... and that Christ really hasn't healed my broken heart, and restored my life, and blessed me so abundantly...given me peace and love and joy.
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M*W: Again, I was not calling you a liar nor are you the only person who ever lived to have a facade -- we all have our own facade and our own inner being, and everyone presents to the world his or her own facade.
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Lori: That way you can continue to deny Him. But the fact is that I'm telling the truth. Why would I lie? To support my ministry? Oh yea, I don't have one. To support my campaign? Oh yea, I don't have one. To solicit members for my cult? What???? lol...How about because I'm evil and I wish to deceive people for the sheer joy of causing deception and ensuing disappointment? Maybe *shrug*.
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M*W: What you believe and you deny has no affect on me or anyone else. Why do you believe I am calling you a liar? You've said this so many times, you've become to believe it! IMHO, I believe this is what you subconsciously fear the most, that's why you've become so caught up in presenting yourself (your outermost self) as 'brutally honest!' Relax!! No one is calling you a liar (unless that is the image you choose to present to the world!)
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Lori: Or I could be a compulsive liar... some weird personality trait stemming from a desire for attention? Mmmmm...what kind of attention would that be exactly? lol.
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M*W: Well, since you asked... How do you feel about your needs for attention? Everybody needs 'attention' in some form or the other. That's a basic human need, so there's no reason to deny it or get upset about it. Maybe we could talk about this over PMs? I would guess that the only way you have been able to get the attention you need is by professing your faith. (I'm not saying this is 'wrong,' but I'm saying that is probably what YOU do to get attention). Maybe it has worked for you. Outwardly, I would say it has, but what's going on with Lori's innerself? Is Lori's true self fulfilled??? In my honest opinion, I don't believe so.
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Lori: MW, face it babe, you don't have a case...you don't even have any evidence. And I don't exactly think it's ok for you to just make shit up about me out of the clear blue sky and post it out here as slander...do you?
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M*W: Lori, I'm not looking for a 'case' nor am I looking for any 'evidence' against you! I expressed my opinions from my observations when reading your posts. You wrote them, I didn't! OTOH, I am quite perceptive as well as learned in human behavior, and I posted my comments sincerely.
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Lori: I don't make up crap about you just because I wish it to be true and come out here and tell people about it as if it's something I've seen in a crystal ball. You're really discrediting yourself quite a bit.
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M*W: Well, let's see, Lori, which one of us has out-libeled the other? In this post alone, you have called me 'magical,' 'mystical,' 'egotistical,' and 'self-rightous,' that I was 'making shit up,' 'writing crap,' and 'pushing your buttons.' You believe that we are 'going after you,' that I've 'slandered you,' that I believe I am 'holier than thou, and that I have 'discredited' myself! If God is with you, how can I we against you? I am detecting here insecurity on your part. Where is this insecurity coming from? From Lori's outer self, the one she happily presents to the world, or from Lori's innermost being, where she longs to be fulfilled?
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Lori: That is an outright lie...completely contrary to what I have attested to. I have attested to finding fulfillment only in Jesus Christ...in my relationship with God through rebirth via the Holy Spirit. I have attested to now being happier and healthier and more fulfilled than I have ever been in my life. Just because you don't believe me, does not mean that I am lying...you self-righteous, holier than thou, blankity blank blank...
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M*W: Lori, you seem to be 'protesting too much' (Shakespeare). It appears that you are ready to aim and fire when there's no war going on. This isn't about me being your enemy. It's all about you and the enemy residing within your innermost self.
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Lori: The Holy Spirit is on the inside, and has given me peace, and love, and joy, and understanding. Through Him, I have seen a glimpse of my redemption and my restoration, and yes, I am happy about it.
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M*W: Lori, in all honesty and concern for you, I don't believe you are at peace within your true self. Sure, you believe all these things to be true, but what I (and maybe others) glean from your posts is that you show the peace, love, joy, and understanding on the outside, because that's what you want to present to the world. I'm not calling you a 'liar,' because I know this to be true for you, but I am sorry to say that you are carrying all this happiness on the outside. It is not coming from the inside, and that is where your insecurity and conflict comes in.
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Lori: His grace and forgiveness and love is absolutely amazing to me. He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams...and rock star's not even here yet.
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M*W: Lori, your faith is strong, I have no doubt, but I urge you to find faith in yourself first and foremost. Our outside personalities only bring us fleeting things, things which don't last forever and are not real. I sincerely hope you do find your rock star, but your innermost soul is going to need more than a rock star to give your psyche the 'attention' it needs.
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Lori: And do you know what? Even if he were to never come my way...even if he were not shown to be my husband in Christ...I would still be so grateful and so happy. That God found a way to use me...to use my life to accomplish His will...to help someone. That would have made it all worth while to me, and I could die one happy and grateful lady...knowing that my life meant something...and only because of Him and His love.
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M*W: My advice to you is don't look for happiness on the outside, because you will never find it there. I can tell that you are a loving, nurturing woman, and that you mean to do good will according to your faith. You don't need to look for anyone else to give you that fulfillment. It's right there, right now! You just have to start believing in yourself.
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Lori: And here's some more of my lovely and cheery "facade"...I can not wait until my rock star gets here and I can shove a big ol' slice of humble pie down your big ol' pie hole. Maybe that'll shut you up for a minute while you chew on it.
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M*W: Lori, I wish you would go back and re-read my previous post, and give it some thought, and not read it in anger. It wasn't meant that way. Read it from your innermost self and not from the facade on Lori's outside where she carries her 'buttons' and dares us to push them! Who knows? You might even learn that there's a Lori inside who can accomplish all the things she desires.
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Lori: Love you Medicine Woman!!!!!
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M*W: Love you, too, Lori!!!!!