I think you have faith and don't know it. I have faith my eye will blink when my eye ball needs moisture. How boat you. Sometimes I do become self conscience about blinking and have doubt. I hate that . It is very uncomfortable when it happens it can take awhile to regain faith that my body will blink at an appropriate interval. So I prefer to live by faith. I think maybe you at least try to live by faith . I know your autistic tendencies might make you question general movement in it self , so if that has any validity I am here for you buddy. You were meant to be here just like we sing in the song . It all clear, You were meant to be here, from the beginningWhy can religion be used in this way? I suggest because it conditions people to accept things on faith, and by authority, rather than by evidence.
Religion also divides humanity into believers and unbelievers, and so it reinforces the tribal aspects of humanity, even if the tribe is not an ethnic group.
Let me ask you this, if you believe in God, but not organized religion, where do your values come from?