i would like to see some of the people who give me "advice" live with my kid for a week and then tell me ADHD is down to being a bad mum/dad
ADHD Advice needed!
- Thread starter lucifers angel
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i would like to see some of the people who give me "advice" live with my kid for a week and then tell me ADHD is down to being a bad mum/dad
''Has you are aware i have a son with severe ADHD, and i need advice, today on the way to school he attacked me, he kicked me, bit me, scramed me, spat at me, all while others mothers were watching!''
I've done similar things, but it's out of confusion, when really, it's the one's we love we hurt...
''Now my question is, i did what some of you said to do, and that was to slap him, i have even banned him of his favourate toys and video games, now has i dropped him of to school, the teachers took one look at him and said that i had to take him home again, so now i have an extreemly hyperactive child at home, smashing everything, like i said i have tried smacking, didnt work, i have taken his games stuff of him, not worked, what else now? all you people out there who say "A good smack will do him good, and a good smack is what bad kids need " this is proof that it doesn't always work so what now people anymore good advice on how to manage this situation? ''
Don't be harsh, but see it as something he is still learning. It took me a while -- about seven years after the age twelve, i realized that the things i did, was horrible. That's all i will say on the matter, because mind, that he does love you, and it;s only through your love that do you ask such questions.
You're full of love. It's brighter than the fire, that burns within him. He feels alone, as i had, and still do, some regards. My advice, as being akin to his actions, is that he does not understand how to deal with his emotions... whilst you do, and that makes you a very good mother.
Ignore those people. They are dipshits.
Bells
Staff member
Ignore what other mothers may think of you. While you may be resentful of his attack on you, you need to keep reminding yourself that your son loves you and that his behaviour is not something he has full control of due to his ADHD. The worrying aspect of his violence is that he could attack other children while at school or his siblings. You are an adult who can restrain him when he becomes violent, but other children may not be able to do so and may lash out at him, and the result could be harm to him or to them.
As others have stated in this thread, his diet might need altering.
Have you taken him to a nutritionist? I would imagine that you have already taken your son to see a specialist for his condition. If you have not, now might be the time to take that step. Ask them to recommend a good nutritionist who has experience in ADHD patients. The nutritionist might suggest you start an elimination diet of all the food your son eats. As suggested already in this thread, you should try to eliminate all additives and preservatives from your son's diet, including all sweets, things like chips (crisps), junk food. Even the cereal and bread he eats may contain additives. It is possible that gluten and dairy products might also have to be removed from his diet (again, a nutritionist might be able to advise you on that after an elimination diet exercise is performed). The question for you now is whether you would be able to cope with this and not give in to his demands for certain foods? As a loving parent, you'll have to remain strong. Not easy, but keep in mind that your son's health is the ultimate goal and that it is all for his own benefit.
As John suggested, find a good calming and soothing technique that suits him. It'll take trial and error, but then again, so does everything.
If you don't want to resort to hard drugs or medications for him yet, then explore every single other avenue.
My brother has ADHD and whenever he would act crazy my mother would ignore him and let him act crazy. Usually within the confines of his room or something like that. Sometimes it worked right away and sometimes it would take hours to calm down, but he always did eventually. That was before he was on medication. I have ADHD as well, and it seems to me that its a learning process. Your son is only 8 years old so it'll take quite a few years before he realizes how to work with the disadvantages that he has.
Quick question does he play video games everyday.....?
Do you limit the amount of time he play's video games in one sitting....?
Do you check the age limit on the video games he is playing....?
They can be very addictive and violent if you have an x-box or playstation you could xchange it for a W!! machine as it is a lot more family orientated and has less destructive violent games whilst still having game play attraction...just a thought
the answer to all three questions is, i do now, ok i didnt, he doesnt play games every day, and he desnt play them all day,
you need to reason with your son...bore him....
ddi you not ready anything i said, he has ADHD you cannot bore an ADHD child, they will go insaine, they like to be busy and occupied all the time not just for 10mins at a time
Wow. When i was a child i occupied myself for hours. I needed something to fixate on and it became like a mission to know everything about it. Even if there was nothing. I suppose i had some type of issue.
Anyway, I would recommend to you a drum set for your son. I say a drum set because they are very physical and he would develop beat patterns. Perhaps another instrument, have you considered this?
Anyway, I would recommend to you a drum set for your son. I say a drum set because they are very physical and he would develop beat patterns. Perhaps another instrument, have you considered this?
ADHD is not a problem, its misdirected energy. Find something he really enjoys and is constructive (drawing, martial arts, etc..) and direct the energy towards that.
I would build cars out of legos when I was younger (with directions of course!) which had pistons, driveshaft, transmission, etc.. most of the working parts of actual cars and work on them hours at a time. Fun as hell.
Focus is learned by practice.
I would build cars out of legos when I was younger (with directions of course!) which had pistons, driveshaft, transmission, etc.. most of the working parts of actual cars and work on them hours at a time. Fun as hell.
Focus is learned by practice.
For me going to kindergarten was the worst. It was like being on anothrer planet. a p[lanet with aliens.
I peed my pants, i threw my shoes in the trash can, i screamed as loud as i could, i screamed to all the people who were not there. I ran down the hall slammed into the door leading to my escape. Jumped over a fence that was twice my height too.
Thats funny. True story too. Of course there was nothing wrong with it, just wasnt for me though. It is just weird, hard to explain.
Anyone else feel that way as a child?
I peed my pants, i threw my shoes in the trash can, i screamed as loud as i could, i screamed to all the people who were not there. I ran down the hall slammed into the door leading to my escape. Jumped over a fence that was twice my height too.
Thats funny. True story too. Of course there was nothing wrong with it, just wasnt for me though. It is just weird, hard to explain.
Anyone else feel that way as a child?
For me going to kindergarden was like the outside. I was always alone...my mother and father left me for 4-5 years with my grandma, and I was always sad. No one would really talk to me. I just sat there quietely. Read the book silently. Looked at everyone, at all the children...while thinking of my mom. I saw lots of hyperactive kids, but I saw them mostly as danger to me.
yeah but unlike you...I never actualled teared anything, or went screaming...or did so crazy jump over the fense things.
I had a bike to take out my adrenaline on...I live in a mid-size Russian city that has wide streets and I used to go on average at 20 mphs as a small boy of age 6. And there were no squirrels there...only cats...lots of cats...hungry cats...of any imaginable color (besides blue and green).i have a drum kit, and before now i insisted that he be kept away from it, but i'll give it a go, it can't get any worse can it?
buy him v-beat air drums...buy him headphones...so that he hears his own beats but not you!!!
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/03/05/silverlit-vbeat-air.html