the sexual life of Jesus and God

What is your opinion on the sexual lives of Jesus and God?

  • God had sex, Jesus had sex

    Votes: 3 18.8%

  • God masturbated, Jesus had sex

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • God masturbated, Jesus masturbated

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • God had sex, Jesus masturbated

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Jesus was homosexual, God masturbated

    Votes: 3 18.8%

  • Jesus was homosexual, God had sex

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • God has never done anything of the sort, Jesus has

    Votes: 5 31.3%

  • Neither Jesus nor God have ever done anything of the sort

    Votes: 3 18.8%
  • Total voters
    16
G

GB-GIL Trans-global

Senator Evilcheese, D-Iraq
Registered Senior Member
If God does in fact exist, it's hard to believe that He doesn't enjoy having sex, or at least have some sort of a masturbatory life. I found an interesting site on the 'Net last week that was an essay on this topic, but I don't remember exactly how it went.

Also, if Jesus really /is/ the son of God, how do we know that God did not in fact have sex with Mary? I find it hard to believe that a testosterone-riddled deity such as God wouldn't seize the opportunity.

I'm going to assume that Jesus was human here. Even if he wasn't, the chances that he didn't have a sexual life are slim, and the chances that he didn't masturbate are almost nil. As the saying goes, 95% of men have masturbated sometime in their lives, and 5% of men lie.

Even if Jesus was divine, he almost surely had testosterone, which makes it nearly impossible for males to resist the urge to mate or at least masturbate between the start of puberty and the early 20s. In Jesus' time, most men started their sexual lives somewhere between the ages of 15 and 18, usually marrying women a couple years younger some time during this period.

Perhaps Jesus had a wife, but later they abandoned each other because their love was not lasting and/or she did not share his beliefs.

Or-- get this-- perhaps Jesus was a homosexual (or a bisexual) even! If this was the case, then there's a lot more here to talk about. I once asserted that Jesus held a polygamous homosexual relationship with his disciples. Most Christians will say that at the time, the kinds of things Jesus and his disciples did together were normal. This is true to a certain extent, but it still seems that Jesus was at least a tad more intimate with his disciples than was OK at the time...
 
Wasn't JFC supposed to have shacked up with some hooker? Mary Magdalene or something?
 
Well I voted for : Neither! If I believed in God (which I dont) - I would like to believe he didnt. And since I doubt he/they has ever existed, its hard to say what either of them has done.

Take care:)
 
Originally posted by Adam
Wasn't JFC supposed to have shacked up with some hooker? Mary Magdalene or something?
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Yeah.

I see where you were going ;)

But this path was already taken in the controversial play "Jesus Christ Superstar" and in the movie by the same name.
 
God isn't really a human being, is He? Therefore, it doesn't follow that he should either have sex or masterbate. Who says he even has the required apparatus?

As for Jesus, we can speculate, but we'll never know. Any reply to the poll, therefore, is only somebody's opinion.
 
Any highly evolved intelligent species will have removed any need for primitive animal instincts and the emotions involved.

Any reproductive activities would be achieved through purely clinical means and then only if a new life is required. It is even doubtful that such a species would be based on biology, they should have evolved beyond that.

Since it seems highly unlikely that a Jesus ever existed, the point is really mute. And since a mono-theistic deity has no need of reproduction then sex or even asexual activity seem completely irrelevant.

The significant obsession many humans have for sex is no more than an inabaility to control the evolved result of millions of years of primeval instincts. A god would have no such limitations or needs.

Cris
 
See thus is something I've wondered about. I think Jesus had sex, I mean he was human, he was followed by people, he was like the rock star of that age - groupies. Seriously I believe he had sex. Second one of the reasons Jesus was sent down here (if you believe that kind of thing) was so God could experience being human, sex is one of the most primal/human things. Its rather important to us, don't you think?
 
Originally posted by Cris
Any highly evolved intelligent species will have removed any need for primitive animal instincts and the emotions involved.
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Yep. We've already developed heroin. You don't think God, in his infinite wisdom, has created something WAAAAAAAY better (better feeling and no bad side effects)?

Hmmm... maybe that's why he hasn't been seen on Earth in 2,000 years... He's busy trippin. ;)
 
Originally posted by GB-GIL Trans-global
If God does in fact exist, it's hard to believe that He doesn't enjoy having sex

If there were a God, I would assume that its absolute creative ability would be more satisfying than sex… that sex is simply a pale shadow of that ability.

Of course, on the other hand there is some indication that Yahweh had one or more consorts, a concept which is found in Gnostic texts and for which there is some archaeological evidence:

This could be the origin of the mysterious Lady Wisdom found in Proverbs and the Apocrypha. (She is in some of the Gnostic texts as well.) Wisdom (Hebrew hokma, a feminine noun) is personified in Proverbs not only as a woman but as a preexistent entity with Yahweh. "The Lord possessed me in the beginning of his way," says Lady Wisdom, "before his works of old, . . . and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him" (Prov. 8:22,30). It was through Wisdom that Yahweh "founded the earth" (3:19), she is "a tree of life" to those who lay hold of her (3:18), and she offers to reward all who seek her: "I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me" (8:17).
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As far as Jesus is concerned, assuming he was real and an actual Rabbi, he probably would have been married (I believe there is a Jewish doctrine that indicates that Rabbi's should be married.)


Originally posted by Cris
Any highly evolved intelligent species will have removed any need for primitive animal instincts and the emotions involved.

I don't necessarily agree with that. I think the Dune series had an interesting perspective on it: The primary, instinctual, drives could not be eliminated from the species without also eliminating the instinct for survival. Not proven, of course, but some of these drives may be so basic to our nature that we are unable to eliminate them without destroying the species.

~Raithere
 
Raithere,

I think the Dune series had an interesting perspective on it: The primary, instinctual, drives could not be eliminated from the species without also eliminating the instinct for survival. Not proven, of course, but some of these drives may be so basic to our nature that we are unable to eliminate them without destroying the species.
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Perhaps but I hope there won’t be a need for an instinct for survival.

As we begin in earnest to re-design ourselves through partly genetics and then largely other technology I fully expect that lifespan will be extended to be open-ended. The elimination of aging mechanisms removes the current primary obstacle to survival. Our evolutionary cycle has built in us very strong sexual instincts that force us to reproduce early before as individuals we die. If we no longer need to die then the need to reproduce is vastly reduced, and hence any instincts to reproduce can be safely and proportionately reduced or eliminated.

The desire to survive should be based on an intellectual need rather than involuntary primeval urges.

Dune still retains a biological aspect and the implication that aging remains an issue. The resolution of the aging issue has massive ramifications.

Cris
 
Do not religious texts state that males are in the image of God? Wouldn't this include the inside? Testosterone? And even if it wouldn't, it would still mean at least that God has a dick. XD
 
Yeah but that is just male chauvanism, and it was men who wrote such religious texts. Just INFLATED egos. God sized dicks, hmm, the mind boggles.
 
Ever watched ST:Voyager and saw how two Q's were having sex? You will get the idea. :D



Just a side question for GB-GIL Trans-global's signature: Did you intentionally use those incorrect words for those people's name?
 
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Originally posted by daktaklakpak
Ever watched ST:Voyager and saw how two Q's were having sex? You will get the idea. :D



Just a side question for GB-GIL Trans-global's signature: Did you intentionally use those incorrect words for those people's name?
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You mean incorrect hanzi? Sorry man, I'm not a native speaker so I don't exactly know the correct hanzi. However, I could fix it if it's important to you.

Zero-- why is it discomforting to you? Do you find it sinful to talk about sex? Are you a hypocrite?
 
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