The oldest you are you willing to pair with?

[tablariddim]

Some things are not so graceful, the loss of memory, impotence and incontinence, to name a few.

--- Ron.

Depends how old you're talking about, but women also suffer from similar age related symptoms as well. What I meant, was that generally speaking, fit men can look and perform pretty cool even up to their late 60's early 70's.

Loss of memory is a bummer that can affect everyone but for impotence men have viagra. Women dry up after menopause, lose their feminine looks, they grow facial hair and intercourse becomes painful for them.. there is HRT but it isn't safe.

 

[Hapsburg]

Five years older than me is the max, I'd say, though same age as me or one year younger is much preferred.

 

[Wilmet]

Funny question. Now that I think about it... There have been men and women of all ages (-30, +20) who have been attracted to me in recent years (I'm in my 50's) but I have always been seriously attracted to someone who is within 5 years of my own age.

 

[perplexity]

There have been men and women of all ages (-30, +20) who have been attracted to me in recent years (I'm in my 50's)

One thing I have wondered is if the much older person thinks it kinder not to respond to such an attraction, how they'd actually cope with that an an issue.

Thinking back a long way I recall a few occasions of signs that an older person was attracted, except to be remarkably restrained about it.

--- Ron.

 

[S.A.M.]

One thing I have wondered is if the much older person thinks it kinder not to respond to such an attraction, how they'd actually cope with that an an issue.

Thinking back a long way I recall a few occasions of signs that an older person was attracted, except to be remarkably restrained about it.

--- Ron.

So you don't believe in a wide age gap in intimate relationships?

 

[perplexity]

So you don't believe in a wide age gap in intimate relationships?

Beyond 15 years or so it feels like taking advantage, especially for a long term relationship, and that is how the rest of the World tends to see it, not just a question of how the intimate two would see it.

Living up to the belief when tempted, that may be another matter though.

P.S.

Seriously, suppose a man over 40 with a girl under 20.

What happens when things go wrong, when a conflict arises? The situation arrives with a whole set of prejuduces. Jealousies apply. The relationship is seen as child abuse to start off with. The younger person is allowed all sorts of excuses while the older person is expected to carry the responsibility.

This might be nice for the kid, but it is not everybody who wants to have cope with being a parent, an abuser and a lover at the same time.

--- Ron.

 

[Wilmet]

One thing I have wondered is if the much older person thinks it kinder not to respond to such an attraction, how they'd actually cope with that an an issue.

Thinking back a long way I recall a few occasions of signs that an older person was attracted, except to be remarkably restrained about it.

--- Ron.

There is a May-December marriage in my family... a 17 year difference. They were legally married after being together for about 12 years. The older partner put off the inevitable for what she claimed was the sake of the younger... Her adult children had a problem with the relationship for a number of years but now they have grown to love their step-father and they jokingly refer to their mother as "the pedophile"...

 

[perplexity]

There is a May-December marriage in my family... a 17 year difference. They were legally married after being together for about 12 years. The older partner put off the inevitable for what she claimed was the sake of the younger... Her adult children had a problem with the relationship for a number of years but now they have grown to love their step-father and they jokingly refer to their mother as "the pedophile"...

That is poignant.

My marriage was officially certificated when I had already known her for 11 years, when our son was already 9 years old.

We'd not thought of that as age issue though. It was all supposed to have been about personal rights, liberty and immigration.

--- Ron.

 

[Athelwulf]

Beyond 15 years or so it feels like taking advantage, especially for a long term relationship, and that is how the rest of the World tends to see it, not just a question of how the intimate two would see it.

Living up to the belief when tempted, that may be another matter though.

P.S.

Seriously, suppose a man over 40 with a girl under 20.

What happens when things go wrong, when a confict arises? The situation arrives with a whole set of prejuduces. Jealousies apply. The relationship is seen as child abuse to start off with. The younger person is allowed all sorts of excuses while the older person is expected to carry the responsibility.

This might be nice for the kid, but it is not everybody who wants to have cope with being a parent, an abuser and a lover at the same time.

--- Ron.

That's one of the problems with this society: People tend not to approve of things that are out of "the norm" and have one prejudiced idea or another about it. And if those ideas manifest in the relationship, it's not because what they say is true – it's because one or both members of the relationship had the same prejudiced ideas in their heads as a consequence of growing up in this society. Unfortunately, people count the "hits" and ignore the misses.

I don't see how the relationship you set forth as an example is necessarily child abuse, especially if it happens to be legal. Yes it's possible that an older man will prey on a young woman. But people tend to think this automatically, without logic – and only of relationships where the young woman is with an older man.

Sorry perplexity. I'm not blasting you. I'm just ranting about a society which grossly indoctrinates its inhabitants, which is the sort of thing I love to do.

 

[perplexity]

That's one of the problems with this society: People tend not to approve of things that are out of "the norm" and have one prejudiced idea or another about it.

I watched it happen once. An older married man got a much younger girl pregnant, so the marriage ended and he went with her.

The change was quite remarkable. He'd previously been a popular sociable person, an organiser of regular weekend chess tournaments. After the affair the two were obviously OK with each other but nobody else knew how to deal with it, like a lack of an appropriate script rather than an overt disapproval, so there was a sort of permanent stand off instead, a silent isolation.

--- Ron.

 

[Bebelina]

My experience of being the much younger girl is that the older mans friends looks down on you. I got treated like a stupid child, got evil remarks that was really meant for him but they didn't have the guts to confront him so instead they attacked me, the easy target with no defense.

Now I have a friend who has married a 15 years younger girl, and I'm very careful with how I treat her, so I don't repeat history so to speak. But since I have child that is only four years younger than her, the mother in me has a hard time staying silent.

My current man since 12 years back is one year younger me and he is immature in ways that are pretty common for 35 year old males of today. The excessive video-game playing drives me uterly insane. What's with the video-games and men?
I never play, find it a waste of time and totally uninteresting and most women I know feel the same. Maybe that's a whole other topic. Men and games.

 

[baumgarten]

Twice my age minus seven years. So, 22 right now.

 

[Weirdomandude]

Well, for a 20 year old, I wouldn't mind someone 10 years older just to have the maturity. For the most part though, 5 years would be the GENERAL limit.
Can't say that a 35 year old or more would be within my attraction range, heh.
Yeah, I'm a youngling.

 

[Absane]

And how old are you, mandude?

 

[Sgal]

My preference for having children with somebody would be that he has to be my age which is 22 or up 5 years older. I would alsonot mind somebody 20 or 21. If 19 they would have to really mature.

 

[Fraggle Rocker]

My current man since 12 years back is one year younger me and he is immature in ways that are pretty common for 35 year old males of today. The excessive video-game playing drives me uterly insane. What's with the video-games and men? I never play, find it a waste of time and totally uninteresting and most women I know feel the same. Maybe that's a whole other topic. Men and games.

I find that to be generally true, especially as women mature. Men like games of all sorts more than women. Athletic sports, card and board games, videogames, motorsports. There's a hierarchy there of course, many more mature adult women play or watch tennis than attend or participate in drag races.

In general men are more competitive than women. We do it in real life, everything from the job market to business to politics to warfare. We're always trying to beat each other. Games are an abstraction of that, and since we have the instinct it's a very healthy abstraction. When a football game is in progress they (I just can't say "we" about football, I seem to be missing a few key masculine genes) act like it's a real war. But when it's over nobody is dead (one advantage of American football over soccer) and they all go out drinking together.

I notice that women enjoy playing, just not the competitive aspect. My wife loves computer games like Tetris in which you're just trying to outdo your own performance. And I find a lot of women playing go, which because of the elegant handicapping system often does not raise the question of which player is stronger (which is already well known in advance) but which one will play up to or exceed their potential today.

But as for younger women, there seem to be a vast number of them playing these online role playing games.

 

[perplexity]

I find that to be generally true, especially as women mature. Men like games of all sorts more than women......

Men play with toys.

Women toy with men.

--- Ron.