samcdkey said:
... but what about the rest of the World, friends and family?
That is where it gets to be creepy, with the need to deal with social attitudes.
Biological issues also come into the picture, the menopause for instance.
--- Ron.
The oldest you are you willing to pair with?
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... but what about the rest of the World, friends and family?
That is where it gets to be creepy, with the need to deal with social attitudes.
Biological issues also come into the picture, the menopause for instance.
--- Ron.
Age in relationships has never been a criterion for me, and I don't see how it could be. The idea that someone who likes someone else would stop themselves from associating with them romantically because they are X years younger/older just boggles my mind. So to me the bottom limit is the legal age of consent, and the top limit is, huh, if she remembers WWII.
Now if you're talking about marriage it's a much more different thing, because to me marriage involves kids, and preferably a lot of kids, so she can't be too old.
But otherwise, age is just a number.
Now if you're talking about marriage it's a much more different thing, because to me marriage involves kids, and preferably a lot of kids, so she can't be too old.
But otherwise, age is just a number.
RocknRoll said:
It may be sweet with the first bloom of love, but what as time goes on?
Behaviour changes with age. The psychological outlook develops. Priorities differ. Mature people play a different game, not so melodramatic.
If one half of a partnership expects a parent child relationship while the other wanted equal terms, the result is pernicious, acrimony.
--- Ron.
I don't believe age has as much an impact on personality as you do. I know teenagers who are more mature than middle agers.
If the other person has a clashing personality, or different prospects regarding career or otherwise, that may be partly because of their age, but I'll break up because of those things, not because of an abstract number that may have had an influence on those things.
If the other person has a clashing personality, or different prospects regarding career or otherwise, that may be partly because of their age, but I'll break up because of those things, not because of an abstract number that may have had an influence on those things.
That average age of marriage seems rather high. Does it average in ages at second, third, fourth, and fifth marriages as well?
Mrs.Lucysnow
Valued Senior Member
five years unless of course its Sean Connery.
RocknRoll said:
It is not so much a matter of personality. It shows in the give and take account. It is only when younger folk get to be much older and not quite so cute that the difference is realised in terms of tolerance, attention, excuses allowed, sundry borrowing and second chances.
The expectations are unconscious habits, only realised when a crisis comes.
--- Ron.
samcdkey said:
Paired with somebody 8 years younger I can't say that this is a big issue, but I am sure that it is into the old enough to be a parent range.
Unconscious instincts kick in, which is not to say that a quasi parental relationship is necessarily unhealthy, just that it needs to be taken into account.
--- Ron.
At my age (53) and if it's purely for fun, I could go 35 years younger and 10 years older, but if I was thinking of marriage, then 20 years younger would be about the limit, older wouldn't get a look in, but having said all that, it really depends on the chemistry between 2 people and I'm a softie for chemistry.
Fraggle Rocker
Staff member
In this era people's appearance varies remarkably from the norm for their age. I know a woman who everybody assumed was 35 until she got a 35-year pin from her employer. And I'm not exaggerating. No surgery either. She's 58 now and still looks 40.
So people who base their opinions here on looks may some day be in for a surprise.
Ditto for maturity. The most immature girlfriend I ever had was 40 when I was 30. It was like having a 20-year-old around the house in many ways, and not necessarily in the good ways.
Ditto for health. The Boomers are growing up to be very fit and trim and well cared for, but there are also people who have really rotten luck and start to become decrepit when they're 30.
There's a lot of alienation in our society too. A lot of people just don't feel a sense of community with their own generation. Two people of different generations who both feel that way might just happen to find each other.
I think when the opportunity arises in your lives, many of you will give it a lot more consideration than you think you will.
I see a whole lot more couples now with a ten-year age difference than we ever had forty years ago. And a fair number of fifteens and even a noticeable few twenties, which you pretty much never saw back then.
It's probably all part of the overall trend toward tolerance of or even fascination with differences in race, religion, social "class," and everything else. Why not age too?
So people who base their opinions here on looks may some day be in for a surprise.
Ditto for maturity. The most immature girlfriend I ever had was 40 when I was 30. It was like having a 20-year-old around the house in many ways, and not necessarily in the good ways.
Ditto for health. The Boomers are growing up to be very fit and trim and well cared for, but there are also people who have really rotten luck and start to become decrepit when they're 30.
There's a lot of alienation in our society too. A lot of people just don't feel a sense of community with their own generation. Two people of different generations who both feel that way might just happen to find each other.
I think when the opportunity arises in your lives, many of you will give it a lot more consideration than you think you will.
I see a whole lot more couples now with a ten-year age difference than we ever had forty years ago. And a fair number of fifteens and even a noticeable few twenties, which you pretty much never saw back then.
It's probably all part of the overall trend toward tolerance of or even fascination with differences in race, religion, social "class," and everything else. Why not age too?
Fraggle Rocker said:
I have wondered if those who vote for more than ten years would have the courage of the conviction in the flesh, so to speak.
--- Ron.
If you're 20 years old, 10 years accounts for 50% of your life; at 30 it becomes 33%, and so on. So it will probably also depend on what their ages are when they meet. For someone looking for a soulmate, mental age and maturity would be more decisive than physical age. I know two families where the parents are 10+ years apart, and in their love for each other you can clearly see they know exactly who and why they married.
Though I think there's more than can go wrong if both persons are at different places in their life, which is more likely to be the case with large age differences. Relationships consist out of the people who go into them, and if there's too much growth or directions still to be taken on either side, someone could suddenly find themselves in a relationship with a partner they barely recognize. Age can make a lot of difference in what people consider important, how they approach differences, pursue interests and resolve conflicts - with themselves and with others. And those things will determine whether people grow apart or closer together, regardless of differences.
Though I think there's more than can go wrong if both persons are at different places in their life, which is more likely to be the case with large age differences. Relationships consist out of the people who go into them, and if there's too much growth or directions still to be taken on either side, someone could suddenly find themselves in a relationship with a partner they barely recognize. Age can make a lot of difference in what people consider important, how they approach differences, pursue interests and resolve conflicts - with themselves and with others. And those things will determine whether people grow apart or closer together, regardless of differences.
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I think the age difference matters more when you're young and when you're older, middleage people usually mix pretty well anyway.
When I was 18-22 I was with a 12 years older man, it got a little boring in the long run. But now when I'm 36 12 years would make no bigger difference, but I'm thinking it might become an issue when I'm say around 60 again.
When I was 18-22 I was with a 12 years older man, it got a little boring in the long run. But now when I'm 36 12 years would make no bigger difference, but I'm thinking it might become an issue when I'm say around 60 again.
Somebody who pefers to remain anonymous sent me this response as a PM:
--- Ron
--- Ron
Bebelina said:
Don't forget that most men mature gracefully as they get older, trouble is they die 8-12 years younger than women.
tablariddim said:
Some things are not so graceful, the loss of memory, impotence and incontinence, to name a few.
--- Ron.