Beyond the tribe or the village, the functioning of society is entirely dependent upon placing trust in strangers: it's pretty damn easy to break into a car and hotwire it--fortunately, most people don't and won't do it for a multitude of reasons; injecting foods in a market with potassium cyanide is also not terribly difficult--again, most people don't.
Further, I've (somehow) only gotten the crap beaten out of me twice in my adult lifetime. Both times the assailants were cops. The first time I was having a seizure--something which every other witness managed to figure out. The second time... I had actually called the cops to report a drunken and violent neighbor. As it turned out, the cop who came to our "assistance" happened to be a friend of the drunken prick, and he also had a drug (steroids) and anger management problem. This time, I only seized after the incident--and far more often than usual for the subsequent three months, as the fucking piece of shit cop literally bashed my head (against the sidewalk) and caused me a concussion.
To me, getting into a stranger's car is no different than trusting that my food has not been poisoned. In many parts of the world, and even parts of the U.S., it's still a fairly common mode of transportation.
Got to love the cops, parma. Not the fucking brightest, are they? This story might make you laugh.
I've called the cops twice to investigate car break-ins on my vehicles. The first time someone broke in, stole a friend's video card and rented movies.
They had him on camera at the counter. We reported it and waited. This is a rough transcript of the actual conversation, no lie.
Cop calls up: "Yes, Mr. P? This is Constable R."
Me: "Ah! Great to hear from you!"
Const. R.: "Well, we reviewed the videotape from the store and we noticed something interesting."
Me: "Really? What have you guys got?" [so excited at this point: are they going to catch this asshole?]
Const. R: "First off, we noticed he has glasses.
[I'm thinking... is this like a cop's version of that board game where you guess people's identities from their facial characteristics? 'Hey! It was Timmy who broke into your shitty Neon! Oh, Timmy, you scamp!']
Me: "Yes, that's right!" (We'd gone to see the video first; short guy, 5'5", maybe 130, blond hair.)
Const. R.: "And we also understand, from talking to the store owner, that you too, Mr. P., have glasses."
Me: "Yes, that's right."
(Long pause.)
Me: "Oh, for God's sake, you must be bloody kidding me."
Const. R. (smug): "Well, we just think it's kind of an unusual coincidence, don't you think?"
Me: "...Yeah. Yeah, sure! I mean, I have glasses, and he has glasses... and what, maybe 30% of the Canadian population has glasses?"
Const. R.: "Okay, fine, but - "
Me: "Never mind the fact that he's about five and a half feet tall and has blond hair - which you can see in the video that we told you about - while I'm SIX and a half feet tall with dark hair." a few other... minor details here also "But aside from all those things, he's a dead ringer for me. Good job."
Const. R: "Hey, now look here - "
Me: "I mean, sure, when I called you people up, I figured it was a long shot. I didn't think you cared about petty crime from this. People told me not to bother, but I said: this is a crime. Surely it couldn't hurt. But it actually has hurt, because instead of trying to find the guy that did it, you're trying to blame it on me."
Const. R: "Look, we just think it's funny that - "
Me: "No. No, you're wrong. It isn't funny. It's not funny at all." [long sigh] "You know what? I don't think I want your help after all. Just pretend I never bothered, and thanks for nothing, Columbo." [hung up]
Second instance: Shitty Neon broken into in different place. Competent thief gang from Toronto breaks into and steals thirty Neons from area. Fails on our vehicle because we have installed a kill switch. On a Ford Neon. Which is in the defrost switch right beside the steering column. There are no words.
Geoff calls cops. Nice young woman officer arrives. How do I know it was attempted to be stolen? Because the ignition cylinder is sitting in the passenger seat. It's not supposed to be there. Did they move it? Not sure. Can't remember where it was parked and the ignition cylinder is out. "Prints?" No, no prints, she says. Smart gang; wipes prints. Darn.
Second cop shows up. Short guy (5'5"), blond. Similarity to felon from earlier story: coincidental, surely.
Cop: "What happened?"
Geoff relates story.
New Cop: "Was it moved?"
Geoff: "I'm not sure."
Cop (exasperated): "Well, has it got any additional miles on it?"
Geoff: "I can't say. The ignition cyl is sitting in the passenger seat. The mileage only comes on with the battery."
Cop: "Is there a lot of gas gone?"
Geoff: "I can't say. The gauge only comes on with the battery."
Cop (exasperated): "Well, here's what I want you to do. Got your keys there? Great. I want you to get in your car, sir, and turn the engine over and look at the gauge. Okay, sir?"
Geoff: "Well I'm afraid I can't do that."
Cop (furious): "Why the hell not?"
Geoff: "Because the ignition switch is sitting in the passenger seat, officer."
Motto: Cops? Haha. Fuck, no.