spousal abuse

[lucifers angel]

this is an of shoot to anouther thread here.

it surprises me that many men still think that if a man gets beaten by his GF/wife/partner then he is weak for calling the police, why is that?

if it is ok for a woman to call the police when she in a bloody pulpy broken mess so why not the man, why is it considered weak?

i think its awful that men or women who are in a supposadly lovling relationship should beat the crap out of each other.

but i can't see why it is differant for the woman to call the police.

also what if the mum is beaten the crap out of ehr kids? is it weak fir them to call the police?

 

[Asguard]

personally no i dont think so but i can give you a rough list of reasons why they dont.

Firstly the list is mostly the same reasons why women dont
fear they wont be belived
shame
Fear of them taking it out on kids or pets
ect

But with men the list has one adition,
fear they will belive her over you especially in acute situations. Take for instance a fight where she atacks you, you have had enough and hold her back so she bruses on her wrists. Now you might not actually have any visible injures (this time) so you fear that the police will charge YOU with assult insted of your wife


There is also the fact that for some stupid reason sociaty in general (mainly men) treat male victoms of abuse (be it domestic, or sexual) as weak or (as one sciforums member put it) "not a real man"

 

[Prince_James]

Lucifers Angel:

it surprises me that many men still think that if a man gets beaten by his GF/wife/partner then he is weak for calling the police, why is that?

if it is ok for a woman to call the police when she in a bloody pulpy broken mess so why not the man, why is it considered weak?

Because women are not held to the same standards as men in regards to matters of violence and courage.

A man who lets his woman beat the shit out of him? Frankly, deserves it. He's a half man. What kind of fool would let a woman mess him up? Does he not have any sort of penis whatsoever?

 

[Asguard]

and there is your answer LA, idiots like this jerk and biased goverment advertising which is sending the unintended message that "vilonce against women, australia says no" but, "vilonce against men australia says meh" (thats actually a quote from my partner everytime she saw those stupid ads)

 

[lepustimidus]

Lucifers Angel:



Because women are not held to the same standards as men in regards to matters of violence and courage.

A man who lets his woman beat the shit out of him? Frankly, deserves it. He's a half man. What kind of fool would let a woman mess him up? Does he not have any sort of penis whatsoever?

By reporting her to the police, he's NOT letting the woman mess him up. That's the whole point, James.

There are two other alternatives. You can just stand there and take the abuse. I know of several men who just take the abuse meekly, and then denounce other men who hit back their abusive wives, or who 'run' to the police, as cowards. "Hahah, you raised a hand to a woman? You coward! I've never raised a hand to my wife in 27 years, despite all the times she's hit me" or "You called the police? That's absurd, couldn't you just take it like a man?" Those are actual responses I've heard in real life, and on the web forums.

About hitting back. That opens up a new can of worms, because hitting back will give the impression to the cops and the courts that you, the male, are the aggressor. Christ, you can just grab her wrists, push her away or pick her up and throw her bodily out your house, and you can still be painted as an aggressor. Because a mentality prevalent amongst society is that men are always the aggressors in these situations. Christ James, even you yourself are pushing the hypothesis in another thread that men are far more aggressive than women, which is a load of steaming dog shit IMHO.

I agree that in theory, a man can physically match a woman, and thus he should 'stand' up to her. In practice, however, a man can't stand up against the cops and the courts, a legal system which is inherently biased against men in the arena of domestic abuse. They will chew him up and spit him out. Then he has to tolerate the sexist public and even his own family labelling him as a 'woman beater', who are essentially the scum of society.

So yeah, I actually find your views rather myopic, James. When I consider the whole issue, I think the only 'safe' response is to just call the cops. If you manhandle her back, she'll call the cops. If you don't do anything, she'll just keep hitting you every time she's pissed. And I guess you could leave, but then it's just on to another woman who's probably going to hit you if she gets pissy.

 

[Prince_James]

Lepustimdus:

By reporting her to the police, he's NOT letting the woman mess him up. That's the whole point, James.

You are calling the daddy copper like a whiny little baby because the mean ole girl beatchu up?

Come now, that is childish and for cowards and fools.

A man who can't handle his own business isn't a man.

I agree that in theory, a man can physically match a woman, and thus he should 'stand' up to her. In practice, however, a man can't stand up against the cops and the courts, a legal system which is inherently biased against men in the arena of domestic abuse. They will chew him up and spit him out. Then he has to tolerate the sexist public and even his own family labelling him as a 'woman beater', who are essentially the scum of society

Who cares? It's a chick. What is she going to do? Laugh in her face and order her out of your house like a man would. Throw her to the curb!

 

[Asguard]

dr phil did a show on domestic vilonce a while ago and a case like this was one of the ones on it. The wife got drunk and beat her husband with whatever was around, rolling pins, wine bottles, she through knives at him.

It was sickerning to watch, but he just stod there and took it (well figurativly, he didnt just stand there while knives were flying at him) because (this is what he said) "at least if she is doing it to me she isnt doing it to the kids"

That is bravery but long term its just stupid, even if she didnt kill him all he has taught his kids is that your partner has the right to do to you anything they feel like. He SHOULD have called the cops

 

[lepustimidus]

Lepustimdus:
You are calling the daddy copper like a whiny little baby because the mean ole girl beatchu up?

Come now, that is childish and for cowards and fools.

A man who can't handle his own business isn't a man.

Um, the cops exist for the very purpose of reporting assaults to. If everyone took the law into their own hands, society would be in chaos.

Who cares? It's a chick. What is she going to do? Laugh in her face and order her out of your house like a man would. Throw her to the curb!

Women can't dial 911 and then spin bullshit to the police? :shrug:

You really are a naive idiot. You underestimate how vindictive, manipulative and vicious women can be. I suggest you google for men who tell their experiences with a legal system that is biased against men in the arena of domestic abuse. Men who 'hit back' (as you recommend) and were arrested, charged and treated like criminals.

 

[Prince_James]

Lepustimidus:

Um, the cops exist for the very purpose of reporting assaults to. If everyone took the law into their own hands, society would be in chaos.

Go cry like a child to the cops and shit your diaper while you're at it.

The cops are meant for serious business. Your wife "beating you up" ain't. If you let your woman raise a hand to you, then you really fucking deserve to get yhour ass beat.

Women can't dial 911 and then spin bullshit to the police?

So what? Let 'em.

You really are a naive idiot. I suggest you google for men who tell their experiences with a legal system that is biased against men in the arena of domestic abuse. Men who 'hit back' (as you recommend) and were arrested, charged and treated like criminals.

I don't give a shit about these men. LOL Why should I? They let their wives get away with murder. "Boohoo hooo the justice system hates me". Oh shut the fuck up and man up.

A man who has a handle on his woman wouldn't have her disrespect him.

 

[lepustimidus]

Lepustimidus:
Go cry like a child to the cops and shit your diaper while you're at it.

Given the fact that your attitude is actually quite common, I'd say that it takes some courage to break the social taboo and report your wife hitting you to the cops.

The cops are meant for serious business.

Well no, not really. In fact, the cops I've met love to enforce minor laws. If they are so keen to meddle over bullshit law, then they should be more than happy to intervene and punish an assaulter.

Your wife "beating you up" ain't.

Assault is always a serious issue.

So what? Let 'em.

You sound as though the justice system doesn't chew men up and spit them out. You have no clue.

I don't give a shit about these men. LOL Why should I? They let their wives get away with murder.

How are they letting her get away with murder if they report her to the cops? Letting her get away with murder would involve doing... well... nothing. Do you even read what you type?

"Boohoo hooo the justice system hates me". Oh shut the fuck up and man up.

LOL. Hilarious. I'd love to see you shitting yourself when you are thrown in the slammer with Bubba after your wife presses charges for bullshit.

A man who has a handle on his woman wouldn't have her disrespect him.

And the best way to earn that respect is to simply make it clear that violence against you is unacceptable, and that you'll call the cops if she starts hitting you every time she's menstrual. No hitting back, no empty threats, no angry words, no standing there and taking the abuse, no fucking around.

And by the way, you still haven't proposed a viable alternative to calling the cops. 'Throwing her to the curb' would be looked upon as domestic abuse in the eyes of the law, so you might not want to do that unless you like black prisoner cock up your virgin male ass.

 

[S.A.M.]

Husband beating is pretty common in India.

Mukesh Khanna, a resident of Central Delhi was at his marriage venue when he was beaten up by his wife.

The incident took place on Tuesday(Jan 29) night, when Mukesh Khanna, the owner of placement agency in Delhi was getting married to a women and was about to start his marriage nuptial ceremonies, his first wife entered with slippers in her hand. And what next ? Reena, Mukesh’s first wife had started beating her husband with slippers. Seeing all this, other guests also started beating Mukesh.

http://www.nriworld.in/news/616-Wife-beats-husband-at-wedding-ceremony

Another one:

Ranchi, April 21 (IANS) A woman in Jharkhand killed her husband with an axe after he complained about the stale dinner, police said Sunday.

According to the police, Chamni and her husband, Buran Munda, residents of Harbul village located around 25 km from Ranchi, together drank `hadia’ (local liquor) Friday night.

She served dinner to her husband, who complained that the food was stale. Irked, Chamni picked up an axe and hacked her husband to death. Her four children witnessed the crime.

http://mynation.blogvis.com/page/3/

 

[Kadark]

Getting physically abused by your wife makes you less than human. Seriously, any guy who gets beaten by his wife shouldn't call the cops - instead, he should jump off a cliff to do humanity a great service. There is nothing imaginable which even comes close to the level of embarrassment one goes through after being abused by a woman. The only way to redeem yourself would be to fight back and knock the bitch out, and faithfully serve your jail term. Yeah, the system sucks, but better behind bars than being called the neighbourhood bitch.

 

[Bells]

So MH, now do you see where the problem lies with domestic abuse? It's not just with the female abusers, but with male society itself.

Welcome to the reality that abused men face. So what do you propose should be done to combat the rampant sexism that exists with men who believe as PJ and Kadark when it comes to this issue?

People who work to combat domestic violence face this kind of attitude from men and women in society on a daily basis.

Yes, the onus is on the abuser to not abuse. But there is probably a bigger burden on society itself to come out of the mindset exhibited by PJ and Kadark. And you are absolutely correct, men who do come forward to report their abuse are braver then most men, because they are going up against the social taboo and hoping to break down the barriers established by their fellow male brothers in society. To be honest, I take my hat off to those men who do come forward. Because they are a hell of a lot braver than people with attitudes such as that stated by some of the males in this thread (PJ and Kadark).

 

[Prince_James]

Kadark:

Getting physically abused by your wife makes you less than human. Seriously, any guy who gets beaten by his wife shouldn't call the cops - instead, he should jump off a cliff to do humanity a great service. There is nothing imaginable which even comes close to the level of embarrassment one goes through after being abused by a woman. The only way to redeem yourself would be to fight back and knock the bitch out, and faithfully serve your jail term. Yeah, the system sucks, but better behind bars than being called the neighbourhood bitch.

I agree, actually. Although throwing her out of the house is just as effective as smacking her across the face. But anything is better than being a whipping boy slave.

 

[S.A.M.]

Getting physically abused by your wife makes you less than human. Seriously, any guy who gets beaten by his wife shouldn't call the cops - instead, he should jump off a cliff to do humanity a great service. There is nothing imaginable which even comes close to the level of embarrassment one goes through after being abused by a woman. The only way to redeem yourself would be to fight back and knock the bitch out, and faithfully serve your jail term. Yeah, the system sucks, but better behind bars than being called the neighbourhood bitch.

Tell me again after you've been married a few years. I've seen some pretty big men shiver in their shoes around their wives.

 

[Prince_James]

Also, I just want to note this:

I am against wife-beating in general. I find men who beat their wives to be brutish scum bags. But a man is better served striking a woman than letting her rule over him, strip him of all dignity and self-respect, and otherwise beat him far worse than he could ever hope to injure her with a mere slap.

 

[Kadark]

Ah, Bells ... since when did men and women have equal authority over one another? Can you conceptualize, to any degree, the humiliation and backwardness involved in a wife-beating-a-husband scenario? I don't know where you grew up, but I've always thought a man's pride to be universal. Sure, that pride is undermined and crushed throughout a man's life at various times, but it is always done by another man. That is acceptable, and it is the order of society which we live upon. However, the notion that a man should simply take beatings from a woman, or arguably even worse, complain to the police about how big of a bitch he is ... well, now we're just treading on grounds whose concepts I greatly fear. No, my friend, calling local authorities is not an option. Taking the beatings? Certainly not an option either. You're practically left with one choice which will get you revenge and save your pride - pimp-slapping the bitch in her face. Since men hit with greater power, though, the cops will become increasingly suspicious when they see your aggressive and naturally-guilty wife with a face full of bruises and whatnot. It's almost a lose-lose situation, if you ask me. Of course, you sympathize with the gender who is conveniently exempt from all of the troubles a man in the same situation faces. It's ridiculous how you somehow congratulate men who have shown the "bravery" and "courage" to snitch on the police about their big, scary wives.

Tell me again after you've been married a few years. I've seen some pretty big men shiver in their shoes around their wives.

Yeah, that's because you live around Indian men. Hahah, Indian men. What an oxymoron.

Mod Note: Enough. See #1901148/25.

 

[S.A.M.]

I wasn't talking about Indian men.

 

[Kadark]

Yeah, sure you weren't.

 

[Prince_James]

Kadark:

Yeah, that's because you live around Indian men. Hahah, Indian men. What an oxymoron.

Ha ha ha!

OH SNAPZ!

Good one there, my good man.

That being said, the Rajputs I know are pretty hardcore. But the rest?

But the other part of your post is perfect: It is absurd for a man to take disrespect from a woman.

Mod Note: Enough. See #1901148/25.