Single fathers.....adoption!!

[angrybellsprout]

The more that I deal with edu departments at universities and education agencies associated with the state, the less that I want to teach.

 

[Bells]

i hate to tell you but they already are bells, ask any male school teacher what would happen to them if they hugged a child

My husband's best friend is a male primary school teacher and he hugs his students and comforts them when they need it. He came with me to buy a new TV last year, for my husband's birthday and we bumped into one of his female students and her parents and she rushed up and gave him a huge hug, and he hugged her back. He has photos on his desk at home of his students taken at the end of each year and they're all big group hugs type of photos.

How can anyone, shoo away a child or tell them to hug themselves if they are hurt and upset? How can any school expect teachers to do this?

I would be more disturbed if either of my children needed comfort and their teacher(s) told them to go and hug themselves and then shooed them away instead of just giving them a bit of a cuddle. The daycare staff where my eldest attends twice a week are very hands on and affectionate.. both the male and female child carers. It was one of the main reasons we enrolled our son there. Because they do hug the children and aren't distant and cold. And that's a State run one. We visited one private one when we had started looking into enrolling him and it was cold and the staff distant with the children. We chose the State run one because the staff were warm and affectionate with the children. And our 2 year old loves it.

 

[Asguard]

i do agree with you and im glad that your friend hasnt been acused. I can only say what i have seen and unfortuantly what ive seen is not that much better than that. Mum gets away with it because she is a women but she has told me about the fear that the males who work with her have. Some of it is dam dangerious, like never alowing a student to be alone with a teacher, great right up until the student has something serious to talk to the teacher about (for instance abuse they maybe getting at home or depression) where the student only trusts THAT teacher (who might well be there teacher.

Unfortuantly this isnt only an issue for teachers, a paramedic was acused of sexually asulting a women in the back of an abulance recently and as far as i can see all he was doing was treating the women.

Its also keeping men away from the teaching proffession (i know this from my discussions with my firends when i was at school and from what mum said when she was at uni)

However i hope this will blow over and all the schools are like you are describing.

 

[John99]

thats so wrong, of course they can!

some men dont need a woman in they're lives they can look after themselves!

Statistics show this, to a point. But i cannot understand why a single male would want to adopt, seems odd. For me personally, i would not want a single male as sole guardian, especially if i didnt know the man.

 

[shorty_37]

The Children's Aid Society would find it odd too. I highly doubt that they would consider them and if they did, they would be pretty far down the already long waiting list.

 

[Orleander]

Statistics show this, to a point. But i cannot understand why a single male would want to adopt, seems odd. For me personally, i would not want a single male as sole guardian, especially if i didnt know the man.

I don't think there are many kids in foster care who wouldn't jump at the chance. "so, do you want a dad?"

I know there was a single soldier in Iraq who adopted a disabled boy from over there. That makes him a hell of a stand up guy in my book. Not a pedophile.

 

[John99]

I don't think there are many kids in foster care who wouldn't jump at the chance. "so, do you want a dad?"

I know there was a single soldier in Iraq who adopted a disabled boy from over there. That makes him a hell of a stand up guy in my book. Not a pedophile.

I am not talking about pedophiles, single men are not any more likely to be so than married men. All circumstances are different though.

 

[Orleander]

so then why does it seem odd that a single man wants children?

 

[John99]

You may want something but actually having it is different. First we have to acknowledge that men cannot even give birth to children so it is not like we are taking anything away from them. I know that when i was a child my mother was everything, even just hearing her voice was amazing for me. Cannot see how this would be different for the adopted toddler.

 

[Asguard]

john who do you think would have looked after you if your mother died in child birth?

As this used to be VERY common i would say that single fathers raising there kids is actually almost MORE common than single women

 

[John99]

As this used to be VERY common i would say that single fathers raising there kids is actually almost MORE common than single women

I dont see why you think it is more common, far from it in the U.S.

 

[Asguard]

i didnt say contemprally. Moden med has droped the rates of mothers who die in child birth. I was talking about if you go back pre moden med you will see that a HUGE percentage of women died in child birth

 

[John99]

oh, i see. well i guess i was speaking for myself personally then.

 

[Orleander]

My grandma's Mom died in childbirth. Her grandparents took her because it was unseemly that a man (her own father) raise a little girl.
Anyone see the movie Evelyn?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_(film)

 

[Norsefire]

Sure. If gays are allowed to adopt I see no reason why single men shouldn't be.

 

[Sciencelovah]

If the single men go to work, who is going to take care of the baby?

Take care = cook, feed, bath, replace diapers, shopping, etc.

 

[visceral_instinct]

At the Catholic school that I work at, before you can apply you have to go to some ethics class. The whole thing pretty talks about how to spot abuse and talks about a whole series of actions that are allowed and not allowed with children. I remember one of their things was that kids over 4 or 5 weren't allowed on the knee. They at least were willing to acknowledge that it was pretty obvious in telling the difference between a hug that was one of comfort, praise or something along those lines and a hug that was between lovers...

When I was in university, our education professors would tell us that if a child looked like they needed some form of comfort or looked in a loving mood that you should tell them to stop, get away from you, and hug themselves. Well, if there was a very small child (under 7) and they came to hug you, you could remain standing and put one arm around them before shooing them away from you.

That's so fucked up. Those kids are going to grow up believing that to touch someone in a social way is perverted and wrong.

 

[shorty_37]

If the single men go to work, who is going to take care of the baby?

Take care = cook, feed, bath, replace diapers, shopping, etc.

They will do what most couples even do nowadays, ship them off to a babysitter or daycare centre for ridicolously long hours.

There are not many ppl out there who are willing to take some time out, stay home and raise their own child at least until they are out of the toddler yrs.

 

[John99]

If the single men go to work, who is going to take care of the baby?

Take care = cook, feed, bath, replace diapers, shopping, etc.

The same would most likely apply foir a single female who adop[ts.:itold:

 

[codanblad]

yeah when my mum died my dad got a nanny, she lived with us during the week. she was lovely, i'm sure we were very lucky with who we got, but we kept in contact with her for years after my dad remarried. he showed a single male to be fully capable of providing financially and emotionally.

i'm a straight single guy, i'd love to have kids, its from having little brothers and sisters. my girlfriend is the only person i've met i'd trust enough to have children with, so if we break up i'd consider adopting. i read in a magazine men are more affectionate than women with their children, its only because women have been the designated child carer for so many years that people think only women want children. i wonder how much of it is culture rather than nature.