That doesn't sound healthy, nor actually doable.
Basically, you're stepping forward and chellenging people, claiming you want to be convinced, while at the same time, you are fiercely fighting back and defending your own position.
It's like pulling the other person toward yourself with one hand, and pushing them away with the other.
If you want to change yourself, or at least allow for change, surely you already have in place ideas about what "betterment" and "improvement" would mean for you, don't you? Why not follow those ideas?
Those idea are limited by what I know and can think. The biggest and best source of ideas is other people! And yes, pulling with one hand and pushing with the other is exactly what I am doing - so that the better argument prevails over just my opinion or whim. Of course I am stepping up and challenging people to "gives me ideas" and then I make counter claims or demand explaination or evidence for their ideas so that the situation can be fully explored. I do hope your definition of an open mind is not "believe everything". If I take only my ideas of betterment, I may miss better ideas or may follow wrong ones. But of course I must defend my position. Thats the burden of rejoinder - accept or argue. If the conversation has not developed to the point where I can accept or reject some idea, I have to argue or demand convincing - the only alternative is to leave the conversation, which I don't want to do.