Scivillage

It's getting pretty hot out here down by the lake and the mosquitos have started their daily airiel assault.

I suggest to everybody that we move to the 'Farmer's' porch. You know, the huge porch he constructed by redirecting some of his farming subsidies to his own pocket.

The drinks cabinet was in.

The wet tree looked indecisive. Was it whet enough or should it go swimming again.

The little tiger kitten roared...

A crowd started to gather.

Things were moving now.

Would we make it as far as the famer's porch?
 
So far far away is the farm house, so far away, its so far away i can't see it from here , the tiger says looking in the wrong direction.
We should safe the steps we use, see, if tree was to carry us, we would save the steps the rest of us would have use to get there, and there by making the distance much shorter.
 
To much drink makes things look differently, we will wait for you at the pond . I've now bought up 100,000 hectars for my farming and I'm raising everything you need out here.
 
SCIVILLAGE
report by:
Genius: cool skill

DAY563
The sun came up for another day of village fun. I headed over to the fields, and started planting crops for the next harvest. After many hours of hard toiling and planting crop after crop, I came to a sudden realization. It was a hard hitting thing to accept. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. I was supposed to be planting seeds instead of crops. Woops.
 
As I flew over the cropfields in a slight breeze my blimp rocked crazily, seeing at it was small so the breezes affected it like gales. I dropped altitude to try and avoid the wind, but it didn't help. The swinging clamp flattened crops in circular patterns as it was buffeted in the wind. Suddenly I turned on all the lights on the outside of my blimp for no reason, and that diverted power from the enines, so it could no longer stay airborne. I crashed into the field.
 
When I look at the tiger kitten's eyes I see great wisdom hidden in them. How is that possible for such a little kitten all new to the world?

He says something wise about steps. His words are like honey to my ear, and after a while the honey clogs my brain.

Therefore I just nod in an affirmative manner. No need to show the little kitten that I am stupid.

Then the tree speaks...I can't make out his words...well I can hear some of them: 'why me?....bla..bla...spurious...instead.'

I just nod.

Suddenly they all climb on my back, including the drinks cabinet on wheels. The honey has left my brain...I can hear what they say now: 'FASTER< FASTER!'

So fast I go...
 
(How come that just when I wrote to CoolSkill to add me to the opening list of positions in Scivillage, Gustav is the one to wonder about CoolSkill, before CoolSkill comes here?)
 
Tangled together on top of spurious, the crew makes there way towards the farm house, however progress is slow as spurious seems to be doodling and draging his feet, it's only after several threads about being denied access to the drink cabit he finially kicks in to gear and start moving.

Finially after much huffing and puffing we reach the edge of the fields, exausted spuriousmonkey drops his heavy burden causing the crew to land in a pile of arms, legs, paws and petals. As a reward for his work spurious is treated with a much need drink, unforthently the drink cabinet has been studing molecular gastromy, so the drink he conjures up is made from water heated to the boiling point over several days and spiced with strange leafs and herbs.

(who is this Gustav anyway?)
 
The FARM THE FARM!!! THERE IT IS!!!!!!

Oh thank you baby jesus for bringing us to the Farm in such a organized and fast manner. (spurious is slightly delirious from exhaustion)

Oh baby jesus...my legs are snapping...my back is creaking...oh baby jesus..please pee in my heart and make it warm and comfy!....

suddenly baby jesus lifts the heavy burden from my shoulders and presents to me the holy grail filled with elixir of life. I thank baby jesus and put the rim of the holy grail to my mouth. I hesitate for a second because I think I can smell the vile odour of hell!

Is satan trying to trick me?

No, baby jesus would never let me down.

I gulp down the elixir of life in one gulp...

The insides of my mouth burn to a crisp. I feel a hot wave of liquid burning its way to my stomach...

I cry...

thank you baby jesus for filling me with warmth and love!!!
 
i look over to see gustav masturbating over old men.
following that i hastily throw the strongest scirum in sight on my eyes, the soothing pain...

shocked at such a waste of scirum, the outcast-boywonder-mule-thing proceeds to lick up every last drop. we decide it is funnier not to mention the sign a few metres away reading 'pig effluent is discharged on this farm regularly'.

distracted by hystirical laughter, spurious turns from his alcohol soaked dirt towards the sign, where it appears there is an abandoned baby lying on the gorund.
 
As Gustav is trying to lay waste to the village the farm is still on the threshold of being readied for the evacuation if necessary.
 
Gustav is laying waste to scivillage. So far he managed to kick the shit out of some flower beds in the village center.

His mummie is appearing now shouting and gesturing and gustav is taken home by the ears by his mummie.

He is going to pay for those flowers his mummie says.

All is calm again in scivillage.
 
There appears to be a baby lying on the cold ground. Could it be?

'Its BABY JESUS!", I shouted!

The Lord has come back.

I ask Baby Jesus if Frodo has returned to earth too.

Baby jesus looks puzzled at me.

I rephrase my sentence in Latin.

Then Hebrew,

then Pygmee

then Timboektoe...


I turn around to face my group of disciples. They stare at me in disbelief.

I tell them this might not be Baby Jesus, or if he is God dropped him all the way from heaven and baby Jesus has landed on his head instead of his bottoms.

They still look like they have seen a ghost.
 
Overjoyed with his findings and the possibility of salvation from ye ol' might lord in the sky, spurious turns to his group of weary adventures to proclaim his finding and there eminent salvation from all toils and pains.

Meanwhile, the tiger sneaks around spurious for a close look at baby jesus, he does looks quite good, infact, good enough to eat, but where should one start such a godly meal, maybe an arm, no a foot, a godly foot food, mmm god food...

behind the tiger, spurious is still talking with his group of disciples, who looks like they have seen a ghost.
 
My disciples now point there fingers to some imaginary point behind me. I wonder if they are on drugs.

They keep insisting.

I turn around and see the kitten playing cheerfully with baby jesus. It has taken one of its little qute feet into his mouth and is dragging baby jesus around.

You cannot help smiling when looking at such a innocent display of interspecies loving and caring.

A tear forms in my left eye.
 
baby jesus cries from joy. Well, it started with sounding like cries of joy. But now there seems some pain cries intermingled with the joyous cries.

The kitten seems to be eating baby jesus, who finally came to save humanity and take us to heaven.

I can't stand looking at the scene anymore...

I turn around and mix myself a drink at the drinks cabinet. Easy on the orange juice I tell the drinks cabinet.

When i turn around baby jesus is gone and the kitten purs.

Ah well, I guess baby jesus can come back to earth in another 2000 years.

Everybody climbs on my shouders and we continue our journey towards the farm.
 
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