So this one time ...
You know those "friends" that you can't stand? Remember, as a kid, some of your parents' "friends" that you couldn't stand, only to find out later that your dad didn't like him either, but the wives got along, so what the hell?
So anyway, that's the guy that relates to me the story of this one time when he was newly married, before the children came along, a neighborhood dog kept overturning the trash. So he figured he'd be clever and give the dog a surprise.
So he takes a section of chain link fence, puts it on the ground. Then he puts the steel garbage can on top of the section of fence, and then he hooks a car battery to the fence. (He was an electrician of sorts in trade.) The whole point, of course, was to shock the dog, but he must have been drinking because even I, at sixteen, could see the punch line coming.
The next morning, he finds the smoking carcass of the dog ... yadda-yadda-yadda.
And that isn't as funny as the time I got thrown out of ... hell I don't remember what science class it was, but a friend told me a story, and, well, you just shouldn't shout, "Jesus F@cking Christ!" and fall over laughing in a Catholic school.
At any rate, the story had to do with this one time he put a cat in a microwave . . . . I was doing okay until the line about yeah, I like bald pussy, but come on . . . .