Man divorces & sues wife for being ugly, wins

[seagypsy]

I suppose ultimately, it comes down to what one values more: social etiquette, or good, honest relationships.
The two are not always mutually exclusive, and etiquette has its purposes. But there are times where one must go against the etiquette in order to protect one's wellbeing.
If one person isn't willing to have a straightforward Q&A session, while the other one is, then the two are probably a poor match anyway.

I can't disagree with you. I have chased off many potential dates with my honesty. To me, that's ok. It means I didn't waste my time getting to know someone and falling for the facade of who they pretend to be, only to have them run for the hills once my dirty little secrets came out, or theirs.

So I haven't had the "pleasure" of social dating. I have only had serious long term relationships and have never been dumped. Granted in all the honesty about my dirty secrets I offered, I wasn't always honest with myself about which of their dirty secrets I could live with. And often found myself trying to be someone I wasn't in order to make them happy. My current husband is only my 4th serious relationship and its the first one I have been not only honest about my past but also honest about who I am on a daily basis. I don't pretend to like stuff for his benefit like I did others. We probably argue more than some people but at least I don't have the weight of carrying a facade to keep someone else happy.

But it seems neither I nor my current husband(Neverfly) are social norms lol.

 

[KilljoyKlown]

I can't disagree with you. I have chased off many potential dates with my honesty. To me, that's ok. It means I didn't waste my time getting to know someone and falling for the facade of who they pretend to be, only to have them run for the hills once my dirty little secrets came out, or theirs.

So I haven't had the "pleasure" of social dating. I have only had serious long term relationships and have never been dumped. Granted in all the honesty about my dirty secrets I offered, I wasn't always honest with myself about which of their dirty secrets I could live with. And often found myself trying to be someone I wasn't in order to make them happy. My current husband is only my 4th serious relationship and its the first one I have been not only honest about my past but also honest about who I am on a daily basis. I don't pretend to like stuff for his benefit like I did others. We probably argue more than some people but at least I don't have the weight of carrying a facade to keep someone else happy.

But it seems neither I nor my current husband(Neverfly) are social norms lol.

Nothing wrong with honesty, but not all secrets are dirty and even couples, lovers & marrieds need personal privacy about some things and this shouldn't be taken as being dishonest. Also with some things, you may be planning to come clean about, but you want it to be at the right time. Plus, no matter what kind of relationship you have or how you feel about it, is no guarantee there are no secrets between you. After all a secret is only a secret as long as you don't know about it, and if you don't know about it, everything is fine right. Of course if you happen to find out about something you shouldn't you have a perfect right to punish the man for being stupid don't you?

 

[seagypsy]

Nothing wrong with honesty, but not all secrets are dirty and even couples, lovers & marrieds need personal privacy about some things and this shouldn't be taken as being dishonest. Also with some things, you may be planning to come clean about, but you want it to be at the right time. Plus, no matter what kind of relationship you have or how you feel about it, is no guarantee there are no secrets between you. After all a secret is only a secret as long as you don't know about it, and if you don't know about it, everything is fine right. Of course if you happen to find out about something you shouldn't you have a perfect right to punish the man for being stupid don't you?

In my case, some secrets are illegal to keep. So while I divulge those I shouldn't hold back the flood gates lol. Besides, I prefer people go running before I get attached to them, not after. Just saves me wasting time hoping for and working to achieve something that ultimately can never be.