Is it rude to just randomly hit on a girl?

C

chris4355

Registered Senior Member
I'm sure it ultimately depends on the person, however I am just speaking in general.

Is it rude if I just hit on a girl randomly while shes at work as a waitress, or reading a book in a library etc...

The reason why I am asking this is because I have a tendency of doing it and asking for numbers, however, looking at it from an attractive girls perspective, it could be quite a nuisance for them to deal with that on a daily basis, which im sure they do.
 
No, they should be flattered. If she's really, really hot, maybe a more subtle approach will be necessary.
 
chris4355 said:
I'm sure it ultimately depends on the person, however I am just speaking in general.

Is it rude if I just hit on a girl randomly while shes at work as a waitress, or reading a book in a library etc...

The reason why I am asking this is because I have a tendency of doing it and asking for numbers, however, looking at it from an attractive girls perspective, it could be quite a nuisance for them to deal with that on a daily basis, which im sure they do.
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Yeah it kind of is annoying, but as long as she doesn't look uncomfortable or angry I don't think you should stop, I mean sometimes a kind word goes a long way. It might give her a confidence boost to know that you find her attractive and poor body image even for an "attractive woman" is bad place to be in.
 
How do you expect not to meet women. Other than arranged marriages and blind dates its the only way. Just be a gentleman and not come off rude and crass. Though I hear speed dating is a kick.
 
krokah said:
How do you expect not to meet women. Other than arranged marriages and blind dates its the only way. Just be a gentleman and not come off rude and crass. Though I hear speed dating is a kick.
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well actually the real reason why im asking this is because i got blown off really bad two nights ago and it put a dent on my ego.
 
chris4355 said:
well actually the real reason why im asking this is because i got blown off really bad two nights ago and it put a dent on my ego.
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Kind of goes with the territory, but I think this is generally how we go about reproducing...

Ladies, is it an insult or a compliment to be hit upon?
 
It's not rude so long as you respect her and pay attention to how she feels about the situation... if she seems like she just wants to get away from you, take the hint and leave her alone, but keep the door open with a gracious goodbye. The problem is when it's uninvited and unwanted yet those feelings are not recognized.
 
chris4355 said:
well actually the real reason why im asking this is because i got blown off really bad two nights ago and it put a dent on my ego.
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Maybe you're an utter douche and she was embarrassed at the prospect of being seen hanging around with a total doucheball?
 
chris4355 said:
I'm sure it ultimately depends on the person, however I am just speaking in general.

Is it rude if I just hit on a girl randomly while shes at work as a waitress, or reading a book in a library etc...

The reason why I am asking this is because I have a tendency of doing it and asking for numbers, however, looking at it from an attractive girls perspective, it could be quite a nuisance for them to deal with that on a daily basis, which im sure they do.
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I suspect that would only work if you're good looking, rich, and powerful. If you're just an average sciforums male, you're almost certain to get blown off. Unless she's desperate for cock.
 
chris4355 said:
Is it rude if I just hit on a girl randomly while shes at work as a waitress, or reading a book in a library etc...
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You expect that kind of behavior from teenagers, but as you mature you're expected to behave maturely. If a woman is doing something and suddenly a total stranger walks up and starts treating her like someone she already knows well enough to consider dating, it's not merely rude. It's downright oafish.

If she's busy, she's busy. If you're in a situation where it's reasonable and appropriate to strike up a conversation, then do it. If you're in a bookstore and you discover that you're looking for a book in the same section, then you already know you have something in common so you can say something about it. But if she's just a female member of your species and that's the only qualification you have for being interested, you're WAY too shallow and what grownup woman is going to react positively?

Women go to bars with the expectation of being hit on by guys who have nothing in common with them except that they go to bars. They don't go to libraries for that.
. . . . Looking at it from an attractive girls perspective, it could be quite a nuisance for them to deal with that on a daily basis. . . .
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Ya think??? Maybe there's hope for you after all. :)
krokah said:
How do you expect not to meet women. Other than arranged marriages and blind dates its the only way.
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Uh dude, what country do you live in??? In the USA most people meet each other at work. It's a perfect environment, you already know the person as a colleague and you have some idea how they deal with the world and what things interest them. Second best way is through mutual friends, for the same reason. You hang out in the same places with the same people so you're already acquainted. For younger people, university is the standard way.

I met my wife through a mutual friend. I met my first wife at the university. I met all of my other girlfriends either at work or through mutual friends.

I can't imagine doing anything so trollish as walking up to a stranger in the supermarket or on the subway and saying, "Hi, you're a hot babe and I would really like to date you." I know those aren't the exact words you say but trust me, that is what she hears.
 
FR do you know some companies actually forbid people dating from working together. So if you go out with your co-worker you have to quit imidiatly.

Also im not 100% your right there, some industries for instance are much more insestuas than others. For instance the health sector and the hospitality industry tend to date in amongst themselves because they work such long hours and tend to be out relaxing when everyone else is in bed.

Actually to be honest i would say most baby boomers met there husband\wife at uni:p
 
Fraggle Rocker said:
Uh dude, what country do you live in??? In the USA most people meet each other at work.
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what if he doesnt work?
what if theres no women in his line of work?
I can't imagine doing anything so trollish as walking up to a stranger in the supermarket or on the subway and saying, "Hi, you're a hot babe and I would really like to date you."
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why the fuck not,if she looks like she likes you,and theres time to talk,why not?
 
chris4355 said:
I'm sure it ultimately depends on the person, however I am just speaking in general.

Is it rude if I just hit on a girl randomly while shes at work as a waitress, or reading a book in a library etc...

The reason why I am asking this is because I have a tendency of doing it and asking for numbers, however, looking at it from an attractive girls perspective, it could be quite a nuisance for them to deal with that on a daily basis, which im sure they do.
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if youre just looking for a lay,then dont expect every girl to say yes.

first a girl has to like you,two,be available and three be in the mood to talk.

for an easy fuck youre better of cruising bars or swinger sites :D
such as
www.hornymatches.com
 
I just leave women alone and watch them to see what they say and do. Actions , to me , speak more than words.
 
I think it's highly contextual. What she is doing at the moment is certainly a factor, as no one likes to be interrupted when in the middle of something requiring deep attention. ("Hey, baby, I think the way you are performing heart surgery on your patient is so SEXY!")

On the other hand, whether talking to a book-reading girl in the library is "rude" will (from her perspective) likely depend on the manner in which she is approached, whether she is presently involved or open to having a new romantic relationship, her general mood at that moment, and even things like whether or not she finds you attractive. Her subjective conclusion regarding the appropriateness of it all will be based on those and likely a host of other factors.

That said, all we as men can do is play the odds. Assess the situation from our own perspective, including evaluating the way in which we approach the woman in question) and hope that unknown factors don't weigh heavily against us.
 
I think its rude to hit on all of them at the same place. You shouldn't hit on the hostess, the bartender, and the waitress.
 
chris4355 said:
I'm sure it ultimately depends on the person, however I am just speaking in general.

Is it rude if I just hit on a girl randomly while shes at work as a waitress, or reading a book in a library etc...

The reason why I am asking this is because I have a tendency of doing it and asking for numbers, however, looking at it from an attractive girls perspective, it could be quite a nuisance for them to deal with that on a daily basis, which im sure they do.
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I finally got what bothered me about the thread topic. There is something wrong with hitting on women randomly. What an odd thing to do. I mean at a minimum there should be some kind of attraction, or what are you doing. (and I am sure this is the case) So right there random goes out the window. But even with attractiveness, I think what is odd is that some men - and some women - are attracted at such an extreme superficial level that it is more or less random, and I think that can be offputting.

Let me see if I can show you what I mean....

You ever see a woman (or man for any woman reading this) who you can see it attractive, but you don't feel attracted. They are not quite your type, or the vibe is wrong. Or something...for whatever reason, you are not really attracted.

I think a lot of men see women like they are fashion photographers. They see a generalized beauty or attractiveness and confuse this with being attracted. They then hit on anywoman who is objectively attractive. They hit on an idea. No warmth, nothing remotely special in the attraction, just sort of like ticking on women on a checklist. I think this can be felt by women.

Oh, she is 'attractive', let me see if I can get close to her.

I don't want to focus on the moral aspects of this, but why not the practical. What is this guy doing? It is like there is an objective good life where you have sex with attractive women and fall in love with one, maybe. Rather than coming from your personal, very subjective attractions.

I see attractive women every day I don't get the impression I want to be close to. I wouldn't ask one of them out. Maybe two seconds later they crack a joke or smile or say something interested or just the way they move and bang, I personally am attracted. OK.

I think the checklist objective thing is strange and not in guys' best interests though they may die before they notice that they are chasing ideas and not women they will really like or even enjoy the sex with.
 
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