Signal: Because I am afraid that I will burn in hell for all eternity if I don't do otherwise.
Are you serious? Were you, like Sam Keen raised in a traditional christian home?
Signal: I don't know how or where you get this self-assurance from, but I don't have it.
I think it would be nice to be so sure of myself, to be able to say, without a trace of fear or guilt "I am this, I am not that".
Well with some things you can say that 'I am this, I am not that'. Self-assurance is a little bit like courage, its not a state you are in at every moment of your life. Rather I would say that you allow doubt to exist, you don't have to be sure of anything in order to take action, the fear of making mistakes only leads to paralysis and eventually neurosis. What wonder or awe could you possibly find in life, what mystery is there to discover if you package up your thoughts into a neat bind where no doubt exists? Intelligence stagnates within such neat binds, so does creativity. The assurance you would find in a already digested pre-fabricated belief system is only there to absolve you of responsibility. Its attractive because it offers freedom from fear. Your doubt leaves you feeling fearful and fragile but instead of simply accepting that fear and the feeling of being lost which is part and parcel of the human experience (and should be embraced) you are seeking to bypass the very things that would connect you to the human experience (fear, doubt, pain, suffering, desire, joy, discovery, excitement, love etc). No one, not even myself, lives without a trace of fear or guilt. But there is a way to reconcile one to these and there is freedom in that.
Signal: Why did all the world's problems have to come together in my mind, in me.
Well don't you think that is being a little self-absorbed? A little narcissistic? Who the hell do you think you are that 'all' the worlds problems are there for you to consider? Its a part of living not a burden placed on your shoulders. The world will NEVER, nor should it ever, be without problems and still be considered essentially 'life' or 'alive'. That world would be a dead world. This world without problems is a world without wonder, grace and all the things you would like to experience, ones solutions is dependent on ones problems, the joy we feel is countered by suffering, embrace them both. Can you imagine the boredom there would be in a world without obstacles and tragedy? Its an infantile notion to think that life or the world should be without problems, chaos, order, solutions, suffering, pain and terror, joy, passion, mistakes, failure etc. I mean what would lead you to 'rising to the occasion', testing your mettle, struggling for solutions, overcoming and yet experiencing loss? What would lead you to wisdom? Not to mention the triumph, glory and momentary relief and elation one experiences as they find their way out of some struggle and survive scars and all. To seek ways of escaping terror is simply not accepting life, yourself, others and the world as it is on its own terms. Those who couch themselves in an air tight belief system are simply toddlers in the game of life.
I like to think of them like newborns. Newborns are incredibly restless and uncomfortable if they are not wrapped tightly. Their arms and legs fling about and there is no security for them. All you have to do to settle them down is wrap them tightly in a blanket and they calm right down.
Like I said, 'newborns'
Signal skepticism is a sign of intelligence as you will always challenge your own beliefs and ideas you find in the world. To not be able to live and act in the face of terror and doubt will only lead to neurosis. You can only live by embracing it all.
