Quote tiassa:
"I got around to being sidetracked by this one."
If I recall, our friend Cris grew up in a place where religion was somewhat mandated by the state. It seems that atheists don't get sick in England, as I recall. I cannot speak for everyone, and probably shouldn't speak on Cris' behalf, except that the hospital and school stories make me smile just so.
And, just so we have it clear:
I remember the constant fear of being a Christian. I remember the bleeding hypocrisy; where do you think I learned to spot it? I, for heaven's sake, remember what it's like to be a Christian. I would absolutely enjoy a discussion of your last foray into Wiccan atheism, agnosticism, Golden Dawn pseudo-Qabalism, Sufi, or any other philosophy or religion not Christian that you've spent a considerable portion of your life believing, exploring, learning, or divining."
Tiassa,
I know I say things that may on occasion when I reread them sound challenging but were never meant to be so. Also I think you missed the "go figure" bit at the end, I was applying my statement as much to myself (walk a mile in my shoes) as I was reflecting on how it is for others. I was not saying that none bar me has been there, I was not stating that Cris and his experiences were irrelevant, and neither was I saying that you and your view and beliefs were rubbish. If I wanted to say that then I would have come straight out and said it so please do not infer that that is what I meant. Thank you kind sir
I fully understand all the drawback of religion, even of my specific one that I profess. However I would say that the drawbacks that so often stick in peoples necks are human nature and applicable to any race, belief, creed...whatever. They are human traits that affect all humanity, to use them as an excuse or reason to slander another's beliefs, religion or faith is exactly the hypocrisy that you see being practiced. "I would never do that, you shouldn't", "I would never react like that, you shouldn't", "I would never go there, you shouldn't". Its a human condition but its not just confined to my faith, its a common human condition and its tentacles spread throughout all that humanity touches. Get past the hypocrisy bit OK, every race, every nation, every politician, every religion has their hypocrites, the ones that cry holier than thou. I understand if you have had bad experiences with believers, I understand that Cris did not find his peace in the religion he once had, do you guys honestly think that I am that dull, so obtuse that I don't know this? Do you think I have never been subject to it or subjected others to it? I have and as long as I draw breath I will. Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Wiccan and any other "ism" or religion you care to throw in is not perfect because the people who practice them are not perfect and try as we may will never be. Get past slandering and bitching about my faith because of others, its not about them, it's not about who did what and when and why and where to whom. It about you and God, one on one and no finger pointing for excuse finding will ever absolve any of us of our standing as individuals before Him.
Its not perfect guys, it never has been and anyone who claims otherwise is telling lies. Religions have their skeletons in the past but the past is the past and the moment that you live or die is NOW! The time that we have to make our peace is the moment to moment passing of our existence. We can make every excuse under the sun not to try, we can blame this person and find this reason and look at that atrocity and think about what happened and who did it and never in all of it will we find the capacity to forgive and forget until we are forgiven and our past is forgotten.
I know its not easy! Do you think that I never doubt? Do you think that I am so far indoctrinated into a system of belief that I can not see reason or have understanding for the way others think?
When did I last cast off my faith? When did I last look at what another believes?
When did I ever stop?
Let me show you, let me give you a glimpse of what racks my brain when in the still of the night I stand before my God, searching my own soul, seeking for understanding, and at times feeling like I'm speaking to an empty heaven.
Cris' example poses questions to me about what I think and believe. As does the example of so many I know who once did believe. You want to see what goes on in my head about what I believe? You want to know the deepest thoughts are that plague me? There are many, way to many to list now, man alive I could send you guys reeling with questions that you never even dreamed of. The example of Cris, well I'd like to know why God did not take Cris when he did believe? He said that those that were His He would never let go, He said that He goes to prepare a place for us and will take us there. Then why does Cris now not believe? Wouldn't it have been better that he died and went to heaven than to live a lost eternity? Wouldn't it be better that Cris died in his faith than in his doubt?
I'm not without understanding or compassion or empathy, I'm not so blinkered as you guys may consider me to be because I stick to what I have found in my faith.
Don't try turning words around to make it appear that I have never or could never understand the position of another, the thoughts of another, the fears of another and the doubts of another. Damn it I do and I hear and feel every bit of doubt as much as they do!
I guess I'm like the disciples when they said "Lord we believe, help our unbelief". They had doubt also, the had confusion and fear plague them as much and if not more than any of us. Yet they believed, not just because of what they saw but because of what they lived, what inspired them and who inspired them, God Himself. They also could have made any and every excuse not to believe because of the past but they choose to believe in the present, in the one that stood before them and showed them a new way, a better way and confronted them with truth. John the Baptiser was likewise, while in prison he send his disciples to ask Jesus if He was the one or should they seek another? Here in prison was the man that Jesus referred to as the greatest prophet to ever live, doubting who Jesus was, unsure if the one who's sandals he was unfit to untie was actually who he had publicly proclaimed him to be.
I do understand why other do not necessarily believe what I do, I do understand doubt and fear, I do understand that there are many many questions that can not be answered. But I do not blame others for what I do and don't believe, I do not use attempt to find excuses I would much rather seek inspiration and the one who inspires. I do not run from my doubts or fears, I acknowledge that they exist and face them, I don't always immediately know the answers to them but that does not mean that I stop seeking them.
I believe, not because of any others words to me, I believe not because of what I have seen, I believe because of who I believe in and the inspiration and love that that gives me goes beyond my unbelief.
Allcare
Tony H2o