Well Mac, you don't sound f*cked up to me...sure you have issues, like filling in time, non employment or what ever... but society will go on teling you you are f*cked up because you can't conform their social paradigm.The point I was trying to make...I'm fucked up just as much as you are. It's just we suffer from different diseases. Paranoid disorders make you think someone is out to get you...when they really aren't. I think you suffer from this.
In the conselling I have done and I have done quite a bit, a signifcant part of the depression, most "normal" people seem to demonstrate is associated with what you are told is "poor performance" or "unproductivity", or not able to by the car that the neighbour just bought you.
You are a unique person who is special in his own right. How dare they tell you what normal is? Sure yu need to function but that is different to listening to someones else version of normality.
etc etc
Solve the issue of societies obsession with "productivity" and half the problem is solved. [especially for males 20 -50 year old]