MutualDesire...
I’ll begin my post by saying:
1. I don’t care what you condone or do not condone. Your approval/disapproval on these matters is of no concern to me whatsoever.
2. My comments were not meant as a reply (as in a specific reply) to anyone else’s comments or opinions on this thread.
3. While you are free to interpret my words any way you wish, I will go ahead and tell you that you appear to have misinterpreted my ‘tone’ and at least part of my ‘view.’ I am not, nor do I ever, look down on people who harm themselves, or who exhibit other symptoms of mental illness. I used the phrase “
we might say: they grow up and stop behaving that way; they get their act together,” as an example of how a lot of people tend to view it. “We,” society, have trouble understanding the “whys” of some behavior, and “we” tend to generalize; simplify. I was not speaking of myself or of any specific individual.
4. I have the authority to make judgments with every thought that runs through my head. That’s what thinking is: a process of judging. “Judging,” however, is not the same thing as condemning. I have condemned no one.
5. By drawing a pattern from two examples, my intention was to show that there actually are similarities in some of these cases. I mentioned two acquaintances; I could have mentioned more. It’s simpler to make a comparison of two. At no time did I declare that
all who inflict self-harm fit into one specific category--other than that of needing help. Self-mutilation, in my opinion, is indicative of a mental disorder. There are also a large number of psychologists and psychiatrists who would agree. Does that mean we are 100% correct? Not necessarily. All the same, there are indeed behavioral patterns present in such cases; they have been studied, and the findings suggest that mental illness/disorder plays a significant role. Will I provide such findings? No. All who are interested can do their own research. It does not matter to me if I’m believed or not.
6. As for needing a better argument... I’m not here to argue. I have shared something of my own personal observations because I, too, have witnessed these behaviors and know something about what these individuals do, say, think and feel. I signed my post: “food for thought...” I typically do not post with the intention of arguing or debating. I share another viewpoint, for whatever it may be worth to anyone, and the reader may think what they like of my contributions. Occasionally I will add more comment for the sake of clarification.
Just because someone engages in an activity which seems strange to us does not mean that they are mentally ill, and just because there is one possible explanation for their behavior does not make it right.
7. I couldn’t agree with you more. Nonetheless, many who cut themselves do have psychological problems. They may be minor or major. Temporary or incurable. These “problems” are often symptomatic of a mental illness, and there are often other problems/symptoms to support this. Frequently the illness is an inherited disorder. Could there be exceptions? Of course. And yes, a person can suffer from having to deal with stress for a prolonged period--and can become both physically and emotionally imbalanced. They don’t function “normally” by their own standards. The situation may be temporary, or it can continue and snowball into a much more serious “condition” of imbalance.
"Inflicting harm equates to threatening one's survival" - what is your justification for this? when I pinch a bee-sting to make it hurt less, how am I threatening my survival as opposed to making it feel better?
8. Pinching a bee sting is not the same thing as taking a razor blade to one’s body for the sake of alleviating emotional pain--or any kind of psychological discomfort/dis-ease. There is a significant difference. To assume that the behavior of slicing one’s arm open (even a little) with a razor blade because it somehow makes one feel better is a normal behavior is an assumption I’m not willing to make. Nor would a lot of doctors. If I’m wrong, so be it. As I’ve never told anyone to their face that they were mentally ill because they cut themselves, or have ever dragged anyone to a counselor, I don’t suppose I’ve done any harm. Still, I’ve seen this kind of behavior up close and often, and I know what it can lead to. I’ve also seen the “damage” done to friends, family, and supporters of the person who cuts them self. I prefer to not make the wrong assumption, and I’m satisfied that there is enough evidence to support the idea that, by and large, “cutting = threat.” We may just have to agree to disagree on this.
Who are you [who are any of us - even the psychologist] to claim that these people need help when all that they are using is the best coping mechanism for the stress they feel. If they choose not to speak to someone, that is a rational decision, and you should accept it. It is rare that forcing treatment on someone is beneficial - and is this ethical?
Who am I? As I said, I am someone who has seen this behavior demonstrated enough times to know that it should not dismissed as “normal” in all cases--indeed, in most cases. There are better ways to cope that don‘t involve as much risk to life and limb. I see significant benefit in learning better, safer ways to cope.
Who are the psychologists? They are people who have studied human behavior for years, and at least some of them have a clue about what makes us tick and why. Being humans themselves, and dealing with the “human nature” of an individual, they don’t always get it right; they don’t always have all of the right answers for every patient they encounter. Yet to dismiss the knowledge or expertise of these people wholesale is not a rational suggestion, imo.
As for “you should accept it.” Who said anything about not accepting their decision? I may not agree with what they do, or the reasons they give for why they do it, but I accept their right to do as they will--unless they are a child. A child has rights, but a child has much to learn. I submit that a child can learn to cope with his/her stress in ways that do not risk scarring, infection, or even death.
I hope this has helped to clarify my view.
~~~
Counterbalance