I think I see the issue now.
To begin acceleration has a very clear definition. It is not a relative issue in the sense that it seems you are describing. It is not defined by how fast two objects move toward or away from eachother. It is defined as the changing rate of motion, of an individual object or observer. That can be increasing speed or decreasing speed and/or a change in direction described as a changing velocity.
When acceleration is not the result of free fall in a gravitational field, which could be an orbit or falling off a roof, acceleration can be measured as the object's or observer's resistance to the constantly changing speed or velocity.
Now with that in mind turn back to your box in space example, an example which works well in describing the equivalence principle. To the man in the box who sees nothing outside the box, the experience and measurements are no different than if he/she were standing on the ground on earth. This is what the equivalence principle is attempting to describe.., without information from outside the box, the man in the box cannot say that the box is not just sitting on the ground some where.
From outside the box, or even from inside if the man inside has information from outside the box, it is clear that the box is accelerating and the man standing inside the box is accelerating. When the man in the box lets go of a ball, it is true that he cannot tell that it does not accelerate toward the floor and that an observer outside the box could know that it no longer accelerates.
What each observer "sees" is not an illusion. But for either of them to draw conclusions about acceleration requires more information than is available from within the box. With all the necessisary information it becomes clear that the box and the man in the box are accelerating and once the man lets go of the box its motion is inertial.., moving at a constant velocity with the floor of the box accelerating toward it.
I think i am a bit clear now! thank you!