You do realize that in the case of Jesus H. Baldheaded "Tits" Christ on a Pony, that's a feature, not a bug?
God's will is God's will is God's will.
Arius and Athanasius pitched fits over the humanity and divinity of Christ; the resulting Nicene Creed suffices as a workaround.
As on Earth, so in Heaven; God is Great; all Hosanna unto Him on High.
No, seriously, there are certainly aspects by which your construction is logically valid, but the wildcard here is God. Not only is this dependence His Will, but He also empowered His children to do strange things like invent the Nicene Creed and make it stick.
As in Heaven, so on Earth; God is Great; all Hosanna unto Him on High.