As I've discovered, it's hopeless for me to even
try to read all of the posts in a thread before I reply, as I usually would (to be thourough), so I've given up and I'll just reply to the base topic.
I've noticed several younger sciforums users boasting in almost every thread in which they participate about how incredibly great they are, and declaring themselves to be "alpha males". Of course, such adolescent chest-puffing does not make it so.
People who say they're 'alpha-males' aren't. It's a self-contradictory thing to do.
It's as self contradictory as someone saying 'I'm not stupid!'
It's prettymuch common knowledge, if you say that, you're pretty stupid.
As much as the limited and largely useless concept of 'alpha-male' is, it does somewhat apply to life. It would seem to me that alpha is the person that everyone gravitiates to, that is the top in performance, and that everyone is submissive to. In short, what defines him as being the 'alpha' male is that most or everyone doesn't mess with him, and he prettymuch has his choice of what he wants.
Now, I have never in my life, as far as I can remember, been interested in such group-dominance games. Boasting has always seemed to me a sign of weakness, a desperate plea for attention. When kids shout about how good in the sack they are, how incredibly intelligent they are, how handsome they are, et cetera, it simply seems weak to me. A request for attention to alleviate insecurity.
What this sounds like to me is either pure naivety, or a good rationalization for not competing, performing, or otherwise putting yourself out at all.
First of all, it's not a game if it brings you real results, in reality. Second, boasting has nothing to do with it. In reality, 'alpha-males' are far too smart to do something so purely socially destructive to them. It's far easier for them to underplay themselves, and be overly modest to brag. The people who do those kinds of things aren't the 'alpha' males - they're stupid. The alpha male is the person who has the most influence and who the most people like. That's what makes him the 'alpha' male. But you're right, 'boasting' does alleviate the stupid person's insecurity, probably.
Some definitely take the lead and some definitely follow. I do not take part in such games. I don't care who gets the good seat in the car, I don't care who talks the loudest, I don't care who runs the fastest. I know what I can do, and for the most part I don't wish to do what I can do for philosophical reasons. I will not puff up my chest like some little birdy to impress women. If a woman is serious, she will get to know who I am, rather than be impressed by the bright little shiny things I lay about. (Okay, enough with the bird-behaviour metaphors.)
Some people are leaders, some aren't. You may rationalize 'not participating' by thinking that you are beyond it, or that it is just a game - and it may be in some ways - but that's weak. There's a difference between social status and trivial games.
There's also another little thing.
People don't remember who you could have been - they remember who you were.
If you can 'run fast' why don't you? Are you doing something more productive with your time? Would you time be better wasted doing something else? I'm not saying that social-status in school or whatever groups means a whole lot, but are you accomplishing anything else? I could go on, but you get the point.
Also - there is a difference between 'impressing women' and distinguishing yourself, showing that you have abilities, and raising your social status. These things aren't just 'games' - they're pretty real, and your rationalization sounds pretty weak to most women, except those who rationalize doing it themselves, I would think.
Besides, why would a woman want to 'get to know who you are' if you're the guy that doesn't compete, doesn't talk, and is complacent and all around generally weak? It's a simple fact - if you just take the backseat of the car - that's weak. It may be a meaningless gesture - but it's representative of something that's not.
Simple fact is, if you want someone to take an interest - you need to give them something to spur them on. Do you really go looking for the most complacent, passive, girl that nobody notices because she does
nothing to compete with anyone else? See..
Oh yes, and one more thing - what 'philosophical reasons' are you talking about?
So, my question: Does anyone past puberty actually give a damn about such basic behaviour patterns?
You can rationalize being weak and saying they are 'basic behavior patterns' all day, but if you don't compete - you're not going to have success. If you don't have success, you're going to be Joe Blow, or worse. And that makes you weak.
Actually, I recall a good example. A BBQ at a friend's place. After a few drinks, many of the lads decided to play wrestling in the back yard. Typical show-off-for-the-girls stuff, such as you might see in primary school. Amazingly basic behaviour, very primitive.
I wouldn't have taken part either - being 'dominant' or the 'alpha-male' doesn't necessarily mean you're bigger or stronger. That's a stupid, small-minded, steryoptical idea. It means that you're the one that everyone likes, and you're smart enough to go talk to all the ladies while the other guys are rolling around on the ground with each other
In reality, I train in Hapkido and Ninjitsu, and for those reasons also I wouldn't have done anything - I'd probably instinctively nail a few pressure points or break someones arm or something if they rubbed me the wrong way.
When I see other guys trying to act tough at each other, threatening to beat each other up and such, I do not have the urge to join in.
In most cases, ditto. Physical dominance is secondary to mental and social dominance in reality now. People who rely on physical dominance are usually stupid and are percieved as such.
When someone threatens me in such a manner, I don't really care, and I don't try to show them how tough I am in return. I know what I can do, and I really don't want to hurt people.
Exactly. I may not be 300 pounds of muscle - but if I'm training in Hapkido and Ninjitsu, it doesn't really matter, does it? But then again, that will give you the discipline to avoid stupid things, and if someone does attack you, you can restrain, or otherwise embarrass or hurt them at your discretion pretty quickly.
On another note - a running diveroll over a fence will really impress the ladies
-Distortion
