A teacher is only an authority figure for a couple of hours a week, for 4 months.
2 consenting adults should do as they please.
How is it inappropriate? We are not talking about a preschool teacher asking 4 year olds out.
Affairs With Pupils - Why Not?
- Thread starter Cellar_Door
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A teacher is only an authority figure for a couple of hours a week, for 4 months.
2 consenting adults should do as they please.
How is it inappropriate? We are not talking about a preschool teacher asking 4 year olds out.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
And, so ?
Four months ?
In what profession is it appropriate to date regular clients ?
The relationship a teacher has with his/her pupils is one based on trust. Like a doctor with his/her patients.
We have a word for that here, but I don't know how (or if) it translates: Vertrouwensband.
his responsibility doesn't mean he cant go tell the teachers boss and do something about it.
hes gotta take care of it. not the law. and he can.
I mean, in all honesty. Do ANY of you believe passing such a law will prevent anything from happening?
And how do you not see this as a violation of our rights, 2 consenting adults should do as they please. Regardless of where they work or go to school.
Shit happens, sure, but we don't need a fucking law for everything.
And a good teacher should not let personal relationships get on the way of the grade.
I mean. This kinda shit happens, and you don't even need a relationship. I go to college, teachers like students more than others and grade them easier all the time.
Should we put a law banning all sorts of student/teacher interactions as well? No.
Let things be, shit happens and no matter how many laws you place it wont fix anything nor people would follow them anyways.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
How realistic do you think that is ?
Even if he doesn't, other pupils will have suspicions. You may say that's the fault of the pupils, but that's just the way things are.
In that sort of environment it's just not right.
And do you think that's fair ?
You also easily brush by the fact that these pupils are way younger than the teacher in most cases. The pupil might feel pressured into the relationship or to continue the relationship, even if there is no good reason to feel that.
They are young people. I mean, you're talking about 16 year olds, they are practically still kids !
Only inappropriate ones.
Does that go for other laws as well ? Are you an anarchist ?
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I don't think its right either. But its not because I don't think its right that we should not allow two people to do as they want. Again, let people be free to choose. It is a risk, but if they are willing to take it, let it be so.
I said 2 consenting adults. No, I don't believe 16 year olds know what the hell they are doing and older people can manipulate them too easily.
Many laws need to stay. Especially more serious ones that can harm innocents.
This is a law that affects two people willing to take the risk of going out with each other... with a potential consequence of getting a bad grade, its different.
We don't need a law for everything.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
Well, if it's allowed it will be a pretty one-sided risk.
So.. that's settles it then ? And it's not just that they are older, they are in an authoritative position. Pupils have to do what a teacher says, right ? I believe 'Master' is a synonym..
I assume you mean ones that prevent harm to innocents. This is one of them though.
It's not, there is a power differential which can be misused by the teacher or can become a source of pressure for the student.
Agreed.
Enmos
Valued Senior Member
That's just naive. These are not rational choices, but emotional ones. You just are too green to understand the distinction.
No, just human. Why do you think these laws exist? I cited safety belt laws as an example, but that seems to have gone over your head.
Adults? Sorry, you may be allowed to have sex at 16, but you aren't legally an adult, until 18. See the grey area? No? Maybe you will when you have more life experience.
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I know I tell too many China stories, but...
Early on in my stay here I had an adult class with a few younger students in it, around 17/18 years old, allowed in because of their high level. We played a game where a student had an issue to deal with and had to guess the issue based on advice their classmate gave them. I wanted to play a little bit of a risque joke and so I gave one student the issue of wanting to hook up with their English teacher.
When the student sat down to start the game all I heard was silence. After a while I asked why no one was giving advice. "We don't see what the problem is." Come on! Teachers and students can't hook up! That's totally impossible! "Nope, it's quite common. My best friend met her husband when she was 15 and he was her teacher. They started dating when she was 16." I've asked a lot of people in China since then if they'd ever heard of a teacher/student thing going bad and still never heard a horror story. Maybe it just works in this culture better than others, who knows?
As a teacher I agree it should be 100% off limits. Not by law - because it's an unnecessary invasion into freedom - but by school rules. It's simply not worth the risk of anything going poorly.
Early on in my stay here I had an adult class with a few younger students in it, around 17/18 years old, allowed in because of their high level. We played a game where a student had an issue to deal with and had to guess the issue based on advice their classmate gave them. I wanted to play a little bit of a risque joke and so I gave one student the issue of wanting to hook up with their English teacher.
When the student sat down to start the game all I heard was silence. After a while I asked why no one was giving advice. "We don't see what the problem is." Come on! Teachers and students can't hook up! That's totally impossible! "Nope, it's quite common. My best friend met her husband when she was 15 and he was her teacher. They started dating when she was 16." I've asked a lot of people in China since then if they'd ever heard of a teacher/student thing going bad and still never heard a horror story. Maybe it just works in this culture better than others, who knows?
As a teacher I agree it should be 100% off limits. Not by law - because it's an unnecessary invasion into freedom - but by school rules. It's simply not worth the risk of anything going poorly.
No, it is unethical and in most cases immoral as well and many times against the law in many countries.
Passing such a law? The law's already passed.
Plus, if you read the links I provided in the OP, you'll find that the 'abuse of a position of trust' amendment only applies when the student/patient/young offender etc. is under eighteen. So the 'two consenting adults' argument doesn't actually apply.
However, on a side note, whilst I'm not 100% sure how you determine your final grades in other countries, in the UK we all take external exams that the teachers in our school have no control over.
Challenger78
Valued Senior Member
Don't ask, Don't tell.
Students bewarned.
Students bewarned.
But your tutors are approached for references by Universities. They may also be approached for references for jobs.
There is a reason so many places of business and education have made it against policy. A professor, just like your boss, holds authoritative power over you and I doubt anyone ever gets fair treatment in the end. Can't schools and offices set their own standards that they hold all employees and clients to? Isn't this one of those policies?
So you wouldn't be upset if a fellow coworker of yours got away with stuff just because they were dating your boss? Maybe you don't, but most people don't like it. Same goes in the classroom. How can someone never show up nor take the final and still get an A in the class? If they love each other so much then they can wait until said professor is no longer the students professor or the student can switch schools. When I worked retail you could have an intimate relationship with a manger, but one of you had to transferred to another store.