Forgiveness begins with loving the other person, but if that person chooses hatred then they are never truly forgiven, and the relationship is never truly restored.
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M*W: The source of forgiveness begins within YOU and not the other guy. It doesn't matter what the other guy chooses. It only matters what is in your heart. You need to focus inwardly first. You have no control what's in another person's heart, mind or soul. You ONLY know what is in YOUR heart, mind and soul. That's where you should start. If someone offends you, you don't need to run to them and blather about your forgiveness to them. That's not what I'm saying. Someone offends you. Yes, you're hurt, but the first step in healing that hurt is to silently (or as loud as you want) forgive YOURSELF for putting yourself in a situation that ended up hurting YOU. Then forgive the guy that offended you and wish him God's love. Again, how loud you do this is up to you. It can be as quiet as a mental note or as loud as the rafters will allow. It is personal to YOU and YOUR situation. This must be done, sometimes over and over. Then you will feel your heart lift up in joy. The relationship may never be restored, but at least you know you did what YOU could to mend it through the power of forgiveness.
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okinrus: That is why Jesus not only said to forgive, but also to settle disputes with a brother. The settling of disputes is forgiveness.
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M*W: I don't see it that way. Yes, settling disputes with another person would certainly help in the healing of the individuals, but that's on the PHYSICAL level. Forgiving them in your heart is SPIRITUAL healing.
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okinrus: A relationship cannot be restore unless if both parties want it to be restored.
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M*W: This is true, but again, this is on the PHYSICAL plane.
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okinrus: Forgiveness is not merely the abstense of knowledge.
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M*W: Forgiveness and lack of knowledge are not interchangeable. I'm not sure I understand what you are trying to say. If someone pisses you off and goes on his merry way without apologizing to you. So be it. Maybe he didn't know he pissed you off. Maybe he didn't care. Maybe he said or did it JUST to piss you off. In any event, forgive the jerk in your heart, and forgive your SELF for putting your SELF into that situation. Whatever the outcome of the incident will depend on YOUR forgiveness and not his apology.
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okinrus: Thus, while as soon as someone does wrong to me, I can and should forgive them unconditionally, forgiveness is only fullfilled when that someone accepts my forgiveness.
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M*W: No. Forgiveness fulfills itself in YOUR heart AND in the other guy. The other guy doesn't need to know the forgiveness you have in your heart. He should hopefully be focusing on the forgiveness he has in HIS heart. YOUR forgiveness does not have to be "accepted" by the other guy to work. Forgiveness itself is a gift. You either have it or you don't. The other guy might never know you have forgiven him from your heart. The context of the act of "acceptance" being needed for forgiveness is pride-based. It doesn't really matter if he "accepts" your forgiveness or not. This would occur on the PHYSICAL plane. If that happens, and he "accepts" your verbal forgiveness, hey, that's great. Then you two could work on re-establishing your relationship a lot sooner. Still, you would need to have the silent forgiveness for him that only comes out of your heart for it to work right.
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okinrus: Sorry, if confused you by making the distinction between forgiveness that has been fullfilled and incomplete forgiveness.
I stated specifically what forgiveness was. God won't forgive someone's pride unless if they are willing to give up their pride. While that person won't remove his own pride on his own, he must be willing to concede to God's will.
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M*W: You are separating your SELF from GOD, yet, you seem to know how God does his job. It's one thing for you to forgive the other guy. What he did is between HIM and GOD. What you do is between YOU and GOD. Your forgiveness will help to heal him and your relationship, but it will definitely brighten YOUR soul. It's a win-win thing.
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okinrus: You disparage me for not knowing what's within someone's heart, yet at the same time you think you know what's inside my heart?
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M*W: I only know you through your words, but words tell a lot. From what you told me, I believe your heart is somewhat empty, so I tried to tell you one way to lighten your soul. It doesn't matter what religion one is to have forgiveness. Forgiveness brings you closer to the kingdom of God that dwells within.
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okinrus: It seems that Bells was confused about whether I was forgiving sins or forgiving those who have done personal wrong to me. Obviously, I can only do the latter.
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M*W: You might be surprised! Forgiveness is a very POWERFUL emotion. YOU do have the POWER to forgive others' sins, whether you believe it or not. Forgiveness activates the GOD WITHIN.
