You don't even know me.
Fair enough, I wont tread on what you consider an 'experience'. However, you must surely recognise the absolute worthlessness of the rest of this statement.. Let me rephrase it..
I have personal experience of Lenny the leprechaun. He is the ultimate of leprechauns, the master of leprechaun existence. Leprechauns happen to be caretakers of the universe that they wrought into existence with a sprinkle of pixie powder. There are no gods, only leprechauns.. eternal keepers of the cosmos. The only thing between you and the knowledge of them is you.
Let me ask you honestly.. has that changed anything? Do you think that somehow now you're going to "believe" in leprechauns, to try and somehow squeeze your brain into belief in them? The notion is ludicrous, you couldn't no matter how hard you squeezed. Girl, you'd squeeze yourself into a coma and still get nowhere. You'd push and pant and press and huff and puff and absolutely nothing would ever change. And yet you'd then, (apparently), blame yourself for this state of affairs without realising that such a thing would be idiotic. You're not to blame, you are simply and unarguably incapable.
It's not that you 'dont want to know', it is that you cannot ever force yourself into a belief in something. Humans are all different and all naturally require different levels of 'evidence' to accept something as true. A lot of the time our level lowers, (say when listening to a friend recount a story), but we cannot choose what level it is at. What I require to believe in gods is clearly too high for anyone claiming a god exists to handle. That's not my fault, it is my nature. By that same token you require more 'evidence' than some to believe in Lenny the leprechaun - it would be foolish and downright rude of me or Lenny to go about damning you to hell or whatever and saying it was your own "choice" because of that inability of yours. You are simply incapable.. If you doubt that I urge you to try. Squeeze yourself into Lenny belief.
That depends entirely upon which god it is. I must confess that if we're talking about yahweh then I really don't have much time for him. Frankly my level of personal morality puts me at odds with such an entity. Thor on the other hand is a cool dude.