Tiassa,
Even someone, suchas myself, cannot tell you how your life will end (up),
but perhaps I can offer some assessment & possiblities as to how the REAL Tiassa might begin:
1) <b>look at your strengths, not at your weaknesses</b> <i>(Can't never did, while all things are possible (positive outlook vs. negative));</i>
2) <b>forget about the disturbing past.</b> Yesterday is gone & tomorrow is a day that has yet to be written into the record of one's own life;
3) <b>give up on regrets & hatreds.</b> At the least, these emotions only serve to draw away from the true creative nature that is in you;
4) <b>SEEK & FIND YOUR BLISS.</b> Certainly you have great talent, but where do you excel? Personally, I have found you to be a great critic of writing & current news events. <i>Hey man, you make Siskell/Ebert look like refried dogshit when it comes to being a critic. Good money, good start, in the writing world</I>;
Finally...... It can only add to one's character and life experience, from which to draw upon, to be willing to travel & work all kinds of different jobs. Experiencing life first hand is truly the best resource for any great writer ((media people included) more or less).
<i><b>In other words, Tiasssa, ...................perhaps indeed, one day, you will become a great, well known writer. But Jack London & Earnest`o didn't really produce great works until getting some first-hand, emotional drives beyond why they hated their childhoods.</b></i>
.......Just trying to be helpful, bro.....
do~what~works~for~you~now, then do your own art later.
...GRRRRRR