Would you change the way you relate to others?

W

wynn

˙
Valued Senior Member
We're all quite familiar with the standard fights and non-communication between people on religious topics.


Whether you are a theist or an atheist or an agnostic or other -

Would you change the way you relate to others?
Would you change the way you communicate with them?


Specifically:
Would you, as a theist, change the way you relate to atheists?
Would you, as an atheist, change the way you relate to theists?


If yes, why, under what circumstances?

If no, why not?
 
I treat everyone the same no matter what they believe. It's their lives that they must live and go through anyway they wish. I've no right to tell anyone that they are wrong but only to express educated , scientific facts that I know exist. By showing the facts I hope that others would someday also
become "enlightened" as I have become about the way reality, to me and millions of others, exists and how it became what it is. I don't blame any supernatural being for things that happen but instead try to understand those things with science to evolve and learn what the truth is.
 
It's a bit of a difficult question, isn't it? Sort of "fluffy" and too open-ended methinks.
I don't treat all theists the same way, neither do I treat all atheists the same way.
I suppose the answer is "yes, I do anyway", but...
 
@cosmictraveler --

I disagree, I(and everyone else) absolutely do have a right to tell people that they're wrong, but only when I have evidence to back up my claims. If someone says that the moon is made of cheese then not telling them that they're wrong would be a disservice to them. The kind thing to do is to help correct misconceptions and logically fallacious arguments and beliefs, it's what I hope everyone would do for me.

However one needn't always be harsh about it. It's best to start off a conversation or a debate in a civil matter, and that doesn't mean not disagreeing with them or stating that facts are merely your opinion. At some point, however, the time for civility passes and the only options we have are ridicule of the belief in question, the more unintelligible the belief the more ridicule it deserves.
 
Charitably!

We are all on this journey called life... and the destination has not been reached yet.

It's only what map one is looking at and the route they are taking to get there.

Is there a wrong way? A right way? A few detours to go around? Perhaps some landmark sights to see along the way? Whether one takes the 'high road' and another takes the 'low road'... they both lead to Scotland...

Faith starts with a seed... and grows! Knowledge also increases... with learning. Understanding comes into focus... usually after life's experiences (hindsight has a new kind of light).

And once it is felt in the Heart... Charity is there. If the Good Lord allows one's Free-Will to make mistakes (harmful choices), should we be anything else? Also, doesn't He forgive us these trespasses? Should we do anything else?
 
Signal said:
Would you change the way you relate to others?
Would you change the way you communicate with them?
Click to expand...

I adjust to circumstance, as I'd imagine that most people do. But I think it's fair to say that my pendulum probably swings further than most, most likely because in my professional life I have primarily held customer contact, supervisory, training, and client management/support positions, as well as a couple of roles that involved working with the disadvantaged. I've also worked with both the young and the elderly on a voluntary basis with several different organizations (in case it's not obvious yet, I really enjoy working with people). In all of these circumstances, it is critically important to adapt one's general demeanor and communication style appropriately, and I think I've always been pretty successful in that regard.

As for how I interact with people in more informal circumstances, well, that can change somewhat as well, depending on who they are. I'm one of those people who has generally always traveled in different social circles that often do not overlap, and probably wouldn't be compatible if they did. In other words, there's a good chance that some of my friends wouldn't enjoy the company of some of my other friends. This is not so much the case these days, as I spend the majority of my time with a core group of my closest friends, but I still maintain contact with people from vastly different walks of life. But again, I would imagine that there are many people out there who would see themselves reflected in this as well.

When it comes to who I am when I am just "letting it all hang out", that really only changes to the extent that I am growing as a person. Sometimes, either in response to personal reflection or input from someone else, I'll make a concerted effort towards an adjustment. This can sometimes be a slow process because we tend to be blind to our own shortcomings, and as long as you're a decent enough person overall, other people tend to just accept the complete package for what it is. The only time I wont make an effort to change is if I genuinely believe that I shouldn't be required to. But even then, sometimes it becomes clear to you later on that you were just in denial, or were being stubborn and/or defensive.
 
Arioch said:
@cosmictraveler --

I disagree, I(and everyone else) absolutely do have a right to tell people that they're wrong, but only when I have evidence to back up my claims. If someone says that the moon is made of cheese then not telling them that they're wrong would be a disservice to them. The kind thing to do is to help correct misconceptions and logically fallacious arguments and beliefs, it's what I hope everyone would do for me.

However one needn't always be harsh about it. It's best to start off a conversation or a debate in a civil matter, and that doesn't mean not disagreeing with them or stating that facts are merely your opinion. At some point, however, the time for civility passes and the only options we have are ridicule of the belief in question, the more unintelligible the belief the more ridicule it deserves.
Click to expand...

I understand your views and can agree that others who believe differently than I do don't or can't change their perspectives in many cases. I just don't confront them as you seem to do even though your tactful about your approach. I'd rather just allow them to remember that a belief isn't a fact when it comes to religions anywhere but they can't understand that many times. Only with education, time and patience can they ever become aware of the differences that separate those beliefs from facts.
 
On the other hand, I just wait 'til they make a really dumb error. Then I kill them.
It saves a lot of hassle in the long run.
 
@cosmictraveler --

Confronting such people and beliefs serves three purposes in my mind. First, there's always the possibility, no matter how minute, that they're right and the confrontation gives them the opportunity to demonstrate that which gives me the opportunity to replace a potentially fallacious belief with a potentially correct belief. Second, the confrontation serves as a means to inform such people that their beliefs are perhaps not as certain as they might think and that there are opposing beliefs and arguments, this is a necessity because many(especially of the religious crowd) haven't actually come face to face with the opposition. Thirdly, the confrontation can be informational to any fence sitters that may be watching, those that haven't fully formed(or even started to form) their opinions on the matter, seeing the two sides clash can help them decide which one to accept and which one to reject.
 
Dywyddyr said:
On the other hand, I just wait 'til they make a really dumb error. Then I kill them.
It saves a lot of hassle in the long run.
Click to expand...

That just makes martyrs out of them and their followers then want to seek revenge upon you.
 
cosmictraveler said:
That just makes martyrs out of them and their followers then want to seek revenge upon you.
Click to expand...
Not at all. I fix things so it looks like they ran off to the Bahamas with the charity money. That leaves them discredited forever.
 
From the OP by Signal
Whether you are a theist or an atheist or an agnostic or other -

Would you change the way you relate to others?
Would you change the way you communicate with them?
Click to expand...

My style of relating and communicating has been changing for a long time. For the most part, I prefer to observe, and ignore the confrontations and conflicts that remain unresolved.

Vocabulary and approach, I modify to suit personalities and circumstances. Persons who are contentious will generally not hold my attention for long.
 
Signal said:
....

Specifically:
Would you, as a theist, change the way you relate to atheists?
Would you, as an atheist, change the way you relate to theists?
....
Click to expand...

I am atheist and I wouldn't change how I relate to believers. I treat them with as much patience and understanding as I can. Because in the long run, it doesn't really matter. I would rather be happy than right.
 
Orleander said:
I am atheist and I wouldn't change how I relate to believers. I treat them with as much patience and understanding as I can. Because in the long run, it doesn't really matter. I would rather be happy than right.
Click to expand...

Question; how does religion bar your happiness?
 
Arioch said:
Confronting such people and beliefs serves three purposes in my mind. First, there's always the possibility, no matter how minute, that they're right and the confrontation gives them the opportunity to demonstrate that which gives me the opportunity to replace a potentially fallacious belief with a potentially correct belief. Second, the confrontation serves as a means to inform such people that their beliefs are perhaps not as certain as they might think and that there are opposing beliefs and arguments, this is a necessity because many(especially of the religious crowd) haven't actually come face to face with the opposition. Thirdly, the confrontation can be informational to any fence sitters that may be watching, those that haven't fully formed(or even started to form) their opinions on the matter, seeing the two sides clash can help them decide which one to accept and which one to reject.
Click to expand...

In my experience, and what I've read in literature on human communication, confrontation is not a particularly effective way to communicate, as it makes people defensive, thus not resolving the proposed issues and often creates new, unresolved ones.
 
Signal said:
In my experience, and what I've read in literature on human communication, confrontation is not a particularly effective way to communicate, as it makes people defensive, thus not resolving the proposed issues and often creates new, unresolved ones.
Click to expand...
I totally agreeing with you. I should understand not how they (e.g. non-theists and other religions) are different from me, but how I am different from them.

I realized that rather than a 'problem', seeking out people with different opinions than I will help myself become a more understanding person with a better understanding of what makes me different.
 
i would have, when Jo ho's knocked on my door this morning (or maybe it was hillsong), all i did was shut the door on them, i wish i had challanged them on there hypocracy of door knocking on suicide prevention day concidering there attitudes are the cause of so many suicides amongst the GLBT community
 
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