Why is bigamy/polygamy illegal?

[quadraphonics]

Colloquially, at least—that is, in consideration of the fact that I know nobody who is genuinely "happily married", unless they express their genuine happiness by complaining about their marriage and denigrating their spouse all the time—I find polygamy indicative of mental illness.

I realize that's somewhat for comic effect, but it's worth noting that most polygamist marriages exhibit a dramatically different power dynamic. It's more like:

Man: Wife 1 is in charge of cooking, Wife 2 is in charge of cleaning, Wife 3 is in charge of watching the kids, Wife 4 (the new, young one) is in charge of having sex with me. I'll be back this evening, and I expect everything to be in tip-top shape!
Wives 1-4, in unison: Yes, master. We exist to serve you.

So you can see the appeal, at least for chauvinist men. The frequencyof underaged brides in those situations also speaks to certain base motivations. Why the women go for it is less clear (although from my knowledge of these communities, women are typically heavily oppressed and controlled).

 

[Syzygys]

He'd probably be forced to divorce two.

Again, as long as the state doesn't recognize it as valid marriage, there is no polygamy.

The simplest point about multiple spouses is simple genetics, how long before everyone has the same moustache and calls each other cousin?

In a big enough gene pool it isn't really a concern.

There is also the important nature that not everyone is lucky enough to be an Adonis or Venus like model, they'd likely not have the chance of a family if all the eligible spouses were taken.

2 points regarding this:

1. Some women who otherwise couldn't marry (ugliness) can get married as 3rd or 4th wife. So that is a positive aspect.

2. There is a numerical problem though, that is half of the males have at least 2 wives, that means the other half have to go spouseless.

Also there is the important point about finances, not everybody has en-massed a vast fortune to composite for their libido,

As a counterpoint, obviously more likely richer men could afford more wives, so there is a better distribution of wealth in society...

Lastly, Who's number one and who's number two?

First come first serve.

As an answer to the OP, it is only tradition and nothing else that makes it illegal, and a rather new tradition. Historically speaking polygamy was the norm if we can count the misstresses too. And I don't even mention the Bible, the reason why Mormons came up with the idea. (beside being horny)

Anyhow, if gay marriage is OK, so should polygamy too...

 

[chaos1956]

Because "the man" said so. Whatever man that may be (human or divine) made laws, therefore its illegal. So is housing russian prostitutes, but it still happens. As for me, I don't care how many "wives" you have to each their own as it is anyway.

 

[Syzygys]

By the way looks like nobody is watching the reality show about the Mormon polygamist. He had 3 wives and started to date a 4th one and married her too. Anybody who is interested in the topic should watch it. It is on TLC and called Sister Wives....

He sure loves variety...

The 4th wife is a brunette...

 

[chaos1956]

ugh... wow very large variety. Is it just me or do they all look kinda the same in the picture? Ill bet the newest one is the ugliest of all.

 

[Gremmie]

I'm guessing the 3 are sisters..The 4th, probably a cousin..Yikes.

 

[Syzygys]

Last night there was a catch up episode of Sister Wives. I missed the end of it, but he got fired because of the show and Utah state was thinking of charging him with unlawful cohabitation I think. Probably because they don't want to make this a new fashion.

By the way there was 16 years between the marriage of the 3rd wife and the 4th. So for 16 years 3 blondes were enough than actually wife #1 introduced him to the newest one and mentioned to him that she might be plural wife material.

Plural wife is the Mormon expression instead of polygamy, by the way...

The sad part is that they do this for ideological reasons, not because they like the idea that much...

 

[Asguard]

Colloquially, at least—that is, in consideration of the fact that I know nobody who is genuinely "happily married", unless they express their genuine happiness by complaining about their marriage and denigrating their spouse all the time—I find polygamy indicative of mental illness.

Really, for all I hear married peers complain about their spouses, I can't imagine why anyone would want more than one. Hell, I don't even want the traditional one right now.

I mean, hey, I get it:

• She doesn't like my friends.
• He loves his boat more than me.
• Can't go to the concert; the ball and chain won't let me.
• He won't put the toilet seat down.
• Does her ass look big in those jeans? Anything I say will start a fight.
• That's what he calls lawn care.
• She thinks I'm having an affair with any woman I know.
• He's banging the slut from the office! I know it!
• I don't know, maybe once a month if I'm lucky?
• He's always bugging me for sex!
• She contradicts me in front of the kids.
• He leaves all the parenting to me.
• (&c.)
• (&c.)
• (and so on)
• (and so on)​

Sounds like fucking bliss to me. I know! I want to do that five times over. And all at once!

What the hell do you play for the first dance at your latest wedding reception?

Well, you've got to be crazy, baby
To want a guy like me.
Yeah, you've got to be out of your mind—
Crazy!

(Icehouse, "Crazy")​

Is it fair to punish them by law? Sure, why not: Recognize the marriages. That's punishment enough.

No, seriously though, I think people who want polygamous marriages are crazy.

Just because someone says something doesn't nessarly mean its what they think. Take the castle episode where his daughter asked him to yell at her in public at the party and drag her out so that it didn't look like it was her "choice" to leave. Lots of guys do this too, more often than not "the old ball and chain wont let me" really means "I'm sorry I just don't want to go but I don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you". Its easy to judge something without looking deeper.

 

[scifes]

I realize that's somewhat for comic effect, but it's worth noting that most polygamist marriages exhibit a dramatically different power dynamic. It's more like:

Man: Wife 1 is in charge of cooking, Wife 2 is in charge of cleaning, Wife 3 is in charge of watching the kids, Wife 4 (the new, young one) is in charge of having sex with me. I'll be back this evening, and I expect everything to be in tip-top shape!
Wives 1-4, in unison: Yes, master. We exist to serve you.

So you can see the appeal, at least for chauvinist men. The frequencyof underaged brides in those situations also speaks to certain base motivations. Why the women go for it is less clear (although from my knowledge of these communities, women are typically heavily oppressed and controlled).

i'm not that acquainted with the phenomenon, but those who marry more than one keep them IN THE SAME HOUSE?

 

[Gremmie]

i'm not that acquainted with the phenomenon, but those who marry more than one keep them IN THE SAME HOUSE?

If you were married, wouldn't you live in the same house as your spouse?

Of course they live together.

These people usually live in a communal style, as quadraphonics described.

 

[Pandaemoni]

Since there are plenty of polygamists in the Bible, I am not sure God disapproves of the practice. I personally used to be dead set opposed to it, and it was quite clear that it was *wrong,* but I realized that, despite my strong feelings, I could not come up with a reasonable argument to prevent consenting adults from knowingly getting into it.

So I changed my position and have put aside my own feelings of awkwardness on the matter.

That said, I am clear that polygamists should be denied the right to claim welfare benefits, since there is the potential to subsidize the lifestyle, and there's no cause to do that.

I suspect the illegality of it simply stems from custom. People have been engaged in monogamous marriages for a long time and it is bound up with our conception of the institution. For many people, any hint of messing with that image is threatening. Even among Mormons who still embrace the practice (and I agree that it is unfair to tag all Mormons as being in favor of the practice, since the religion practiced it for only about 60 years, and the LDS abolished it more than 100 years ago), they have an image that they can't shake...they would never agree that all men should have "brother-husbands", even though they will tell you that sister-wives are a great source of support for one another.

For the early Mormons, I think polygamy made sense. For them, their men were being murdered at a high rate, and widows were left behind who needed to be cared for. For modern populations, the male/female split is roughly equal, and it seems a potential source of friction amongst men to allow other men to take multiple wives, as it would mean some men go without.

 

[Shadow1]

.

by me:

some people are FOR polygami, but, do they floolish and act like they don't know(or ignore), the very most important part, if you will marrie more than one, you have to be exactly ecaul to both of them, exactly, and if you give a gift to a one, you should give one like it to the other, and tell them, to do not tell the other won that he gave her a gift, that was an example, also, he must have money, and can support, and that they accept each other, if he cant do that, then just to marry one. people who want polygamy, well, many of them, don't see this part, they think, it's, a relegion duty, while it's defferently not. one is ennuf, also, our prophet mohamed, married many women, one from each tribe, to unite the arabian tribes, so, that became what is called "sunna" to marry, but, 4 women, but, with so many strict rules, those that i said, and maybe others.

 

[quadraphonics]

i'm not that acquainted with the phenomenon, but those who marry more than one keep them IN THE SAME HOUSE?

The ones who do it openly, with religious justification, typically live in a more-or-less communal arrangement. Not always necessarily the same house, but almost always within (at most) a short walk.

The people who do it secretly, without telling any of the wives about the others, are a different story. They'll typically want them in different states, so that the one family never finds out about the other. And, yes, as crazy as that sounds, people do pull that off.