this is a case of wanting someone to tell you how/what to believe. ...
Not for me is it. I (like you it seems) am of opinion they do not know which of their conflicting ideas is correct (For example believers in re-incarnation deny that after death you get "eternal life" in Heaven or Hell.) Thus, what they say is of no interest to me - I DON'T desire to be told "how/what to believe." I prefer to admit my ignorance, remain an agnostic.
IOW I believe no single religion has the ultimate answer, this does not mean you do not get credit for following a specific religion ...
This "get credit" for being "moral" should have been at the top of your list of common features of all religions (I think it is the ONLY idea ALL share.) It is a socially useful idea, so civil societies encourage it too. They do so so well that almost all atheists behave "morally" even when they can get away and profit by being "immoral."
I.e. when young you are taught what is "right" and what is "wrong" by your societies standards, which slowly evolve. Fucking some of your female slaves was once moral - Thomas Jefferson frequently did that and fathered a few bastards as modern genetic tests on some claiming to be his descendents have proven. I think it psychologically healthy not to mess too much with these early ingrained concepts.
For example, if I find a billfold with cash in it, I'll call the owner but I have been able to warp this "do not steal" concept. I do not point out to a grocery store checkout clerk errors that favor me (only those that over charging me.) - I easily rationalizing the guilt away with: "The company planned on having some errors, bottles broken in the isles of shelfs, etc. in their cost of other goods." It does not even seem like stealing to me - just helping their expectation to be true.
But now to come to my main point: It is only an assumption that God wants you to be "moral" instead of getting all you can for number one when there is no danger of civil punishment. Perhaps God wants the company of those who can think for themselves in Heaven, not those who just do what they are told to. I.e. maybe only the careful (un-caught) crooks and self indulgent exploiters of others go to live eternally with God in heaven.
Eternity is a long time. Do you really think God wants only "Yes I do and believe as you say" men instead of interesting, creative souls, who can think for themselves there for companions? I.e. Perhaps the one thing about God all religions agree on (be moral) may be exactly wrong!