Not all scientists are atheists, and not all atheists are scientists, but many do turn to science for answers. I am an atheist and I must say that there is no euphoric feeling that greets this realization. It was very difficult to admit to myself that it was all just a fool’s paradise, with no plan, or purpose. I couldn’t modify and accept the lie, as the moderates do. I had to be honest with myself and admit that God did not create humans in his image. That God did not create humans period, and that there was no God, never has been.
Then I really started to feel small, insignificant, and vulnerable. Who was I going to call on when life got tough? *Poof* All of my supernatural powers vanished, just like that. No more hotline to the big guy. My instruction book for life…well, there’s goes that guidance right out the window. Oh, and anyone who has ever hurt you, they’re not going to be punished in some afterlife. It’s up to you to make them aware of it.
You also realize that your social circle may shrink and your loved ones will view you differently. There is no recognition for your good thoughts, no rewards, and it is up to you to be happy. How you view yourself becomes imperative to your contentment. After you realize all of this, you look around and see the mass delusion for what it really is. The idea is powerful and seductive. It wasn’t easy to give it up and you wonder how many others will be able to do so.
At first, you try to avoid the conversations altogether, but you’re not being true to yourself, and it becomes increasingly uncomfortable. You try to avoid using the term atheist. You use terms like nonbeliever, secularist, skeptic, or you simply say that you do not believe in organized religion, but it is not true. The truth is that you no longer believe in anything supernatural, at all.
Your new label now carries many false connotations. People think you are ignorant if you cannot see God in all that surrounds you. They think you’re in denial because being good is too difficult or that you are angry with God. You’re loved ones may feel that you lost your faith because of the hypocrites, or because you are too sympathetic to all the cruelties in the world, and are unable to see that it is all part of God’s plan. Some think that you are simply misinterpreting the scriptures. They feel compelled to save you. It’s "idiot compassion" at it’s finest and it hurts.
The self-southing activity of prayer no longer reduced my anxiety. I had to develop new ways of coping. For me, it all boiled down to my fear of the unknown, the fear of losing control, and with all the questions remaining. Therefore, I turned to science for answers. The concept of heaven became immoral. Life became an experience, an event bound by death. I became a beneficiary of chance with a vivid appreciation for life.
This may sound odd but I actually mourned my future self. Since, I am in the midst of experiencing consciousness, it became tempting to project my future self entering into this darkness, being thrown into oblivion, and utterly ceasing to exist. Conscious of my unconsciousness, aware of my unawareness, how screwed up is that?
You cannot ask who God is in terms of science because science has nothing to say on this matter. You can only ask what God means to those who have turned to science and away from God. For me, God is a historical, mythical deity that ancient humans wrote about, but here and there, the ancient text can offer a little wisdom.
"Whoever discovers the interpretation of these sayings will not taste death."
This immanence of nothingness no longer haunts me. I did not witness my beginning and I will not witness my end. My only fear now is the pain associated with dying and my lack of control over future events.
There's a reason why things happen but things do not happen for a reason.
C'est la vie
The Secret You-YouTube
Atheism and the Afterlife-YouTube