what would you do
- Thread starter chimpkin
- Start date
I've read that Tolstoy wanted to hit people for disagreeing with him ...
I think hitting someone is usually an act of self-defense.
It's just that the one one is trying to defend oneself from isn't necessarily present in person, but in the form of a memory.
I've noticed, for example, that I often feel provoked, like a victim around some people, especially those opposing me. It took me a while to notice that the situations were reminding me of earlier situations with some friends (" ") who tended to side with those who wronged me. And so I have been reliving this betrayal everytime anyone opposed me. I was bringing in past relationships into current ones. Very painful.
Now, as I notice that that old dynamics is in place and I am being lead by old relationships or by people who are not present, it is easier to let go of a fight.
(There's more, but I'm not telling.)
I think corporal punishment is in place and effective, as long as it is the social norm in the society you live in and is done without anger or resentment.
It is important to understand that anything can be forgiven, but not everything can be reconciled.
Reconciliation, Right & Wrong
Reconciliation, Right & Wrong
then it is not a justified fear. your making more of it than it is..
I was an angry kid . Mainly cause I had no friends and no body liked Me . So I would throw things and brake things . I am not sure how I got over it . One thing was I did realize it was not improving the situation as more and more frustrations from frailer persisted. Depression would set in and I would stare at the other kids playing and having fun . After a while I would pick my self up and give it the good old try . I just held on to the idea of odds . Were as if you keep swinging then the power of odds say at some point you got to win . To win I realized to erase my own stereo typing of my self I would have to mitigate my anger from the world deeming Me loser. It was very difficult cause I blamed everyone . Parents, kid , teachers , you name it . It didn't help when other kids Parents would say stay away from that kid , he is trouble . Fuck nuts wad I ever do to them . It was not til 2008 that Me final points stages of anger fled the spirit . I don't know something Lauren said . It was a poem I believe . About self doubt being the devil of mankind . It withered away after reading that poem . Funny it was right when the economy was in the throws of devastation . Right when anger should have been steaming out my very pours . I just can't seem to muster up true anger anymore . It just don't seem worth it . For my own state of health and others . I can still get mad and express my self about a situation , but it is not the same as that eternal gnawing at your gut that lead to my old days of depression . 2008 I gave it up for my new state of mind. It took about 6 months to purge depression. Music helped a lot. Music can heal the hurts . I believe in the song The minor 3rd the major 3rd the flat 9 flat 7 . Magic chords of music heal hurt . I believe that
Fraggle Rocker
Staff member
I've never hit anyone in my life so I'm probably not going to start doing it in my 60s. But one of the things I have consistently noticed is that when I do something I'm not proud of, I remember how it feels afterwards, and it makes me less likely to do it again.
When we got our first dog I spanked him on the butt a few times. That's a grey area when it comes to condeming "violence" because after all dogs can't talk and they often communicate with each other by force. How else can you get their attention? But I just didn't like the way I felt afterward and eventually stopped. That dog died in 1989 and I haven't done it to any of the myriad dogs we've had since.
I would suspect that at least some people would have the same reaction to facing the fact that they hit a human being, especially one they love. It might be such a horrible thing to live with that they could never bring themselves to doing it again, no matter how angry they get.
But it's possible to express that temper in other ways which ultimately are more satisfying. Learn to communicate better. When someone or something makes you angry, just yell about it using a rich and precise vocabulary, and tell people in excruciating detail what you're going to do if it ever happens again.
Our species has the unique gift of language. We don't have to hit each other. We can hurt each other better with words.
And remember, when you're angry, more often than not the person you're angry at is yourself. Don't take it out on somebody else just because they happen to be there.
