akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
lets say you do something socially unaceptable. but it doesnt hurt anyone. should you be free to do what you want?
what do you do
- Thread starter akoreamerican
- Start date
It depends on what it is that you do. If you want to make an ass out of yourself then by all means go for it since as you say you are the only one that you are doing it for.
akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
no i do not want to make an ass out of my self. lets say its socially unacceptable but you believe its ok, but doing so would emotionally hurt your loved ones
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
Like, blow your nose on your sleeve?
I think the crux of the issue will be how it doesn't hurt anyone. You said it hurts your loved ones.
I think the crux of the issue will be how it doesn't hurt anyone. You said it hurts your loved ones.
akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
ok it doesnt hurt anyone physically, but could hurt anyone emotionally. would it being legal or illegal affect your action if you thought the law making it illegal was bs?
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I would suggest, as in all such cases, you have to weigh up the pros and cons, and make a judgement based on the relative weights you personally apply to each (which will be different from person to person).
There is no simple algorithm with fixed weights and measures to apply to any given situation, which is why we each have our own moral positions.
There is no simple algorithm with fixed weights and measures to apply to any given situation, which is why we each have our own moral positions.
If some activity is socially unacceptable, there is a reason for that.
Could be, you're in the wrong 'society' - that is, a class, gender, ethnic or religious group whose mores, etiquette and protocols are different from the ones you've been taught. In this case, you either adjust or resign yourself to being an outsider, avoided and disliked.
Could be, the society is on the cusp of a cultural shift: still clinging to outmoded customs, but they're being challenged and will soon give way to different attitudes. In this case, you would be a rebel (if among the first hundred to do it) a pioneer (if among the first five thousand) or just another wannabe.
Could be, the society has a rational and practical reason for rejecting certain behaviours. In this case, you should understand the reasoning and counter it with a better argument, before you can justify an antisocial act.
Merely opining that it doesn't hurt anyone is insufficient justification, when we don't know what you want to do. We might each find examples where your proposed act does hurt someone, or damage society in some way you hadn't considered.
Could be, you're in the wrong 'society' - that is, a class, gender, ethnic or religious group whose mores, etiquette and protocols are different from the ones you've been taught. In this case, you either adjust or resign yourself to being an outsider, avoided and disliked.
Could be, the society is on the cusp of a cultural shift: still clinging to outmoded customs, but they're being challenged and will soon give way to different attitudes. In this case, you would be a rebel (if among the first hundred to do it) a pioneer (if among the first five thousand) or just another wannabe.
Could be, the society has a rational and practical reason for rejecting certain behaviours. In this case, you should understand the reasoning and counter it with a better argument, before you can justify an antisocial act.
Merely opining that it doesn't hurt anyone is insufficient justification, when we don't know what you want to do. We might each find examples where your proposed act does hurt someone, or damage society in some way you hadn't considered.
How important is it to you to not hurt your loved ones? Are you willing to risk losing them from your life?
Like picking your nose and eating the bugger at a restaurant? I wouldn't think that sort of thing would bother your family much at all although they might not want to be seen around you.
akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
if i did anything like that my parents would probably go in to some sort of medical emergency, call the ambulance and when they get to the hospital, the doctors would say theres is nothing wrong with them
akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
i cant tell if they are faking it or if its something they actually feel. so i conclude that it doesnt hurt them physically
Emotional hurt can be serious.
So then, the next question would be: Are we trading off emotional hurts? If so, which is bigger?
Say, the son of a religious family were gay.
If he comes out, his father might disown and mourn him as dead; his mother will be torn between love for her child and shame before her community; they will always wonder what they did wrong - major emotional damage that may last decades.
If he stays in the closet and marries the nice, dutiful girl they've picked out for him, he and his wife will always be unhappy for even more decades; the toxic atmosphere of their home might affect their children for further decades.
This one is a relatively easy equation to solve. Tell them or not, but definitely move away and become whoever you really are, someplace where it doesn't bother them and they can't bother you.
Other relative emotional hurts are harder to weigh, one against the other.
So then, the next question would be: Are we trading off emotional hurts? If so, which is bigger?
Say, the son of a religious family were gay.
If he comes out, his father might disown and mourn him as dead; his mother will be torn between love for her child and shame before her community; they will always wonder what they did wrong - major emotional damage that may last decades.
If he stays in the closet and marries the nice, dutiful girl they've picked out for him, he and his wife will always be unhappy for even more decades; the toxic atmosphere of their home might affect their children for further decades.
This one is a relatively easy equation to solve. Tell them or not, but definitely move away and become whoever you really are, someplace where it doesn't bother them and they can't bother you.
Other relative emotional hurts are harder to weigh, one against the other.
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
Religiosity is not the operative factor; intolerance is the operative factor. But your point is taken.
But I think it is still off-the-mark. A person has an imperative to be true to themselves, how their loved ones feel about it does not trump that. So, being closeted does not fit the OP's criteria of choosing (not) to do something that is socially (un)acceptable.
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
akoreamerican, I think you'll get more useful answers if you are at least a little more specific.
Question: do you think a bunch of strangers on a forum who do not know you personally will judge you on it?
You have set the stage as something you are struggling with, and want feedback about whether it's moral or not.
But no pressure.
Question: do you think a bunch of strangers on a forum who do not know you personally will judge you on it?
You have set the stage as something you are struggling with, and want feedback about whether it's moral or not.
But no pressure.
akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
ok this i will describe a situation which I AM NOT IN, but it will help me nonetheless if you respond to it.
lets say i want to have sexual relations with someone who is related to me by blood.
and the person i want to have this relation also wants this.
lets say i want to have sexual relations with someone who is related to me by blood.
and the person i want to have this relation also wants this.
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
1] Incestuous relations were outlawed because it can lead to inbreeding. If there is no pregnancy, that is a non-issue.
2] I'm not sure that, beyond first cousins, there is really much of a deal at all.
3] What happens between two consenting (and otherwise unattached) adults is largely nobody else's business.
I offer no opinion on what someone might do with these observations.
But you might consider looking up the legal issues for your country to be safe.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_incest
2] I'm not sure that, beyond first cousins, there is really much of a deal at all.
3] What happens between two consenting (and otherwise unattached) adults is largely nobody else's business.
I offer no opinion on what someone might do with these observations.
But you might consider looking up the legal issues for your country to be safe.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_regarding_incest
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akoreamerican
Registered Senior Member
so go for it... WOOT
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
I did not say that; I simply made some relevant legal points.
You still need to decide if you are willing to take the risk of how your families might react if they ever find out.
You still need to decide if you are willing to take the risk of how your families might react if they ever find out.