domestic:
The whole paradox of it is it's obvious he wanted/needed friends, yet the same antisocial behaviors that develop while a person is feeling isolated tend to push people away. He is one of those cases where socializing with him would have been really one sided in the beginning - it would have required us (not him) to do all the legwork in getting through his shell.
I agree, to an extent. Someone who has been neglected socially is harder to socialize with, merely because they become suspicious of your motives.
But it's NOT difficult to break down the barriers of even the most anti-social, if you are sincere and consistent. Smile, show a genuine interest, invite them to lunch. If they are alone, ask to join then.
I sympathize with Cho. I'm socially awkward (not to the same degree, I'm guessing), I hate crowds, and I get those embarassing pauses in conversations. I feel like a spectator in groups. There is a bit of evidence to suggest that this problem is genetic, and it runs down my mother's side.
I've tried to form connections with people in the past, and been pushed away. This leads to resentment and anger on my behalf, and the vindication of the notion that people are generally insincere when they express interest towards you.
There is also a feeling of failure, as you aren't able to maintain a simple relationship with a fellow human being. Sometimes life seems stagnant without any meaningful human contact.
Nothing makes me happier than someone coming up to me, smiling, and being genuinely happy to see me. Or showing a little appreciation. Sadly, I seem to only get such behaviour from a dog (despite the fact that I'm polite and courteous during the first encounter), which is why I'm fonder of animals than people.
I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar that if just one person had approached Cho that day, smiled, and acted happy to see him, his resentment would have melted away, and the shooting spree would have been forgotten.
I think that the big problem is that socially 'inept' people are treated with ridicule and scorn. If you are physically crippled, people are eternally patient, and make every allowance. You receive bucketloads of sympathy. Why can't people be a little more patient and accepting of the introverted?
It would be pay off in the end. Fewer traumatized human beings. Fewer crimes of hatred and frustration.
I can imagine what will happen in the aftermath of this atrocity. Some will try to forget it. Others will take it as proof that complacency leads to disaster, and that tighter security measures are required: More searches, metal detectors, stricter firearm controls.
Civil liberties will be further restricted. Students will be further sheltered. And there will 'security'.
Until the next massacre.