God,
This is my last letter. I'm sick of writing them. After all, you already know what I'm going to say, don't you? Yet you want to hear me say it.
Well, you know the situation. I waited. You didn't come. I waited longer. you didn't come. everyone keeps saying you're gonna come. He promised. He's coming. guess what? i don't have time to build fires in the park, churches in the wilderness if you're not coming. I no longer expect you and i'm not waiting any longer.
Say i'm lost. well, you lost me. That's your loss.
Mr. One-way Relationship, Prayer is talking to a wall. I'm sorry, but I never got anything out of it. I'd rather climb the wall than pray to it. Climbing is much more rewarding.
Oh, i know what you would say.
Pride got in the way.
My heart is smaller than my head.
that's good stuff, it really is. but, you know, I know, I can't stick around waiting for my heart to change. aren't you the one who's supposed to change hearts? well, get here and change it. that was all i was ever asking for.
I refuse to be helpless and call on you again. Oh, that day may come, sure enough. But even then, should I expect you to come in all your glory? No, I think not.
You want me to give up thinking, give up doubting. it's not likely. you want me to be you and that's the worst thing a parent can require of their children.
Show yourself! God of Glory, Love and Comfort, show yourself. I don't see you. You don't speak. You don't show up.
Sorry, I will not have a relationship with an idea I believe in but can't converse with. I can't do it. You gave me too much wisdom and intelligence for that.
Furthermore, you should know that I'm extremely bitter and angry with you. But you know me, I'm an understanding and forgiving fellow. I'm sure if you came around, I'd light up like oil fields in the night.
That's all I'm asking for. Come around.
Until then,
Tim
P.S. I loved you.
Satan,
What's up, brotha wing-man???!!!! I saw this shitty movie last night, but they had this guy masquerading around as you---he was the best part!
anyway, I'm looking forward to this weekend. See ya there!!! I expect you'll be there first. After all, you always are!!! Put a good word in for me with the ladies before i come, eh!
ciao for now,
timo:m: