Love is the very core of our Christian life. Without Love, nothing really matters. It is written in 1 Corinthians 13?
"1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."
Love is greater then tongues.
"2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."
Love is greater then prophecy, knowledge and faith.
"3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."
Love is greater then our actions.
"4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Love is powerful.
"8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part;
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away."
There is nothing greater then Love.
Not only that, but Jesus teaches us that Love is the very thing that differentiates us from this world.
John 13:35
"35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
So Love is pretty important? And I'm pretty sure we should talk more about Love!
One thing that called my attention during Valentine's Day is how Love is distorted in this world. It is distorted to the point that you cannot even say it is really Love! I find that Satan has put in our world a "love" to draw people away from God! And through this "love" people try to satisfy each other's needs and become not only attached to one another, but also highly dependent. It is very easy to differentiate between those two "loves" if you know there is a false Love in this world in the first place. Here are some basic differences:
God's Love.............................................World's "love"
Centred and focused on God......Centred and focused on self
Unselfish.....................................................Selfish
Serving..................................................Self-serving
Always satisfies.....................................Never satisfies
Not addictive........................................Highly addictive
This world's "love" is this love that we see in Hollywood movies and in most people in this world. This "love" is imperfect and actually very sinful. There are people that kill other people because of this jealous "love" There are people that hurt themselves and others because of this "love" There are even Christians that are drawn away from God because of this "love" Satan created this "love" to deceive us. I find that emotions are pretty similar to the spiritual world. There is no better way that the enemy can deceive us by making us believe in our emotions as something from God. Some signs that you are being lead astray by this "love" would be:
"1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."
Love is greater then tongues.
"2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."
Love is greater then prophecy, knowledge and faith.
"3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."
Love is greater then our actions.
"4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Love is powerful.
"8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part;
10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away."
There is nothing greater then Love.
Not only that, but Jesus teaches us that Love is the very thing that differentiates us from this world.
John 13:35
"35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
So Love is pretty important? And I'm pretty sure we should talk more about Love!
One thing that called my attention during Valentine's Day is how Love is distorted in this world. It is distorted to the point that you cannot even say it is really Love! I find that Satan has put in our world a "love" to draw people away from God! And through this "love" people try to satisfy each other's needs and become not only attached to one another, but also highly dependent. It is very easy to differentiate between those two "loves" if you know there is a false Love in this world in the first place. Here are some basic differences:
God's Love.............................................World's "love"
Centred and focused on God......Centred and focused on self
Unselfish.....................................................Selfish
Serving..................................................Self-serving
Always satisfies.....................................Never satisfies
Not addictive........................................Highly addictive
This world's "love" is this love that we see in Hollywood movies and in most people in this world. This "love" is imperfect and actually very sinful. There are people that kill other people because of this jealous "love" There are people that hurt themselves and others because of this "love" There are even Christians that are drawn away from God because of this "love" Satan created this "love" to deceive us. I find that emotions are pretty similar to the spiritual world. There is no better way that the enemy can deceive us by making us believe in our emotions as something from God. Some signs that you are being lead astray by this "love" would be:
- Lack of peace and happiness because of the absence of a person, which clearly indicates a dependence on the person (your happiness and hope are based on that person)
- New age concepts that "comes" to you, such as "soul mate" and "follow your heart" (our hearts are imperfect and can fail, we should follow only God).
- You talk a lot about the other person.
- If a person means too much for you.
- If you "love" that person more then others.
- If your "love" is conditional: I "love" you if you do this and that?
If you have even one of those signs, it is very likely that you might not have the all-powerful love of God, which is understandable, since we are not perfect. If you have many of those signs, mainly in a particular relationship, then better examine your heart and see if Satan is deceiving you!
The basic criterion to define those points is based on the question: Does Jesus Love like that?? We should always strive to Love like Jesus Loves, since His Love is our Father's Love, the perfect Love.
Let's go through the points again and see the differences between God's Love and the false "love" Look at each relationship you have with each person, mainly the most serious ones?
I. Centre of attention
Focus is the very core of a relationship. Basically, you can be focused on God, on the other person or on yourself. If you are focused on God, your relationship might never end. If you are focused on the other person or on yourself, your relationship will almost certainly end or continue in a misery. Be very careful here. Examine your heart with all your attention and be really honest with yourself. If you are in a relationship focused on self, better finish it now rather then suffer a lot later. Since the focus is the very foundation of a relationship, if you have a weak foundation, it will never last. It may sound harsh, but it is better that way.
a) God's Love: Centred and focused on God
With God's Love, you are always focused on Love Itself, on God Himself. Instead of Loving people by looking at them, you Love them because you can see God's promises for them. When you focus on God, you don't look at the other's imperfections, you look at God's promises. Centring your attention on God also allows you to grow in Faith, Wisdom and Love. With Faith, you see promises rather then problems. With Wisdom, you naturally know what to do, when, where and how, since you have intimacy with God, and He reveals His plans for you and for others.
When you centre your relationship in God, your relationship becomes a blessing to everyone. You yourselves are blessed and those around you will also be blessed.
b) World's "love" Centred and focused on self
If you focus on others you will see their imperfections and you will have difficulty on Loving them. You won't always agree with them and in a close relationship you might even fight.
If you focus on yourself, the situation is even worse. You can become really selfish and annoying for others. You become more important then others. You also want to be the centre of others?attention.
In a close relationship, it is easy to see if you are focused on each other. If you feel anxious without the presence of the other person, you have the wrong focus. If you feel unhappy and lack of peace without the person, you have the wrong focus.
People think that friendship is a good foundation for a relationship. That is worldly wisdom, not God's. Even if the centre of your relationship is based on friendship, you are still focused on each other, instead of on God. When you focus on God, it is just God. You cannot have two foci at the same time. A relationship that is not focused on God is doomed to finish, since the foundations of the relationship are weak and worldly. Friendship and other things should never be the centre of the relationship, but rather, a consequence of it. The centre is God, the friendship is the consequence of it.
If you have the wrong focus, better finishing the relationship rather then continue and be really hurt in the end. Many people that marry have the wrong focus. ALL people that divorce have the focus on each other. If they don't divorce, they suffer and are always fighting, braking and getting together again?fighting, braking and getting together again?in an on-going cycle of misery. Since the focus is the very foundation of a relationship, better to finish it early, before you get too attached to the other person (which is also a sign of dependent relationship). If you get too attached, it is very likely that you will get very hurt.
It is crucial to examine your heart and be really honest with yourself.
II. Relationship
Here, I'm not talking about the focus of the relationship, but rather the relationship itself. A relationship always happens with a subject and an object. You are the subject and the other is the object. The conjunct of interactions between you and the other person constitutes the relationship as a whole. This section defines the intentions behind your actions in a given relationship. It is our intentions that are being examined here.
a) God's Love: Unselfish
There is nothing more unselfish then God's Love. God let His Son die for us. There is nothing more unselfish then that. An unselfish relationship with another person will bless not only the two people, but also everyone around you. It will make your relationship pure in motive.
This is the abundance of God's Love - it is for everyone. God Loves everyone of us. His Love is so big that He Himself lives within us, and us within Him. His Love surpasses all understanding. When your Love for one another is unselfish, both of you become a pure vessel of God's Love to the world. What a blessing!!
b) World's "love" Selfish
Selfishness is easily seen if you treat each other as possessions. Things like "soul mate" and "you mean too much for me" are signs of a selfish relationship. This is a direct consequence of basing your relationship on each other. You become each other's possession. For example, with the "soul mate" thing, the other become your "soul mate" , "the guy/girl meant for you" which clearly denotes possession. When you see the other as a "soul mate" what you are really doing is putting the other in a pedestal and worshiping him/her. You are also "loving" this person more then others, which is actually wrong. Does Jesus Loves one more then the other? Does anyone of us means more for Him then the other? Isn't salvation for everyone? Isn't His Love for everyone that accepts it? He didn't die for only one of us. He Loves every single one of us. Then, should we Love one above the other? May it never be!
Again, examine your heart and be really honest with yourself.
III. Actions[/I
Actions are the explicit part of the relationship. It is by our actions that we show our Love.
1 John 3:18
"8 Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth."
Actions bring into light our intentions. But our intentions cannot always be determined by our actions. We are imperfect. We can do something that we call a "mistake" When you do something that hurts someone that you Love, you made a mistake. You thought you were doing something good, but you were doing something bad. Or the other person misunderstood you, assumed something, or took it personally, thus reacting to it in the wrong way.
So our actions are not always in harmony with our intentions, and our intentions cannot be known by our actions. However, our intentions are essential to determine our actions.
a) God's Love: Serving
Basically: give. And it is not just in the close relationship, but also in every other. Again, it is not something for a couple of people, but for everyone. With God's Love we always put everyone before ourselves.
Philippians 2:3-4
"3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.?
God's kind of Love always gives. It is sacrificial: you before me.
1 John 3:16
?6 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.?
If you Love that way, you will bless everyone around you.
b) World's "love" Self-serving
The world's "love" say: "me first" It is easy to see if you have this kind of "love" if you limit yourself to one person. You will probably not want to sacrifice yourself to that person. This jealous "love" that possess the other person, this "romantic" "love" is highly self-serving. If you say or show in your actions and motives: "I'm happy with him/her and I don't care about what you feel." Then you probably have this kind of "love".
Again, examine your heart and be really honest with yourself.
IV. Satisfaction
Here we will see how the relationship affects you emotionally and how it satisfies your needs.
a) God's Love: Always satisfies[/I]
God's Love is absolutely abundant. It has no beginning, nor end. It is not just for everyone, but everyone that has it, is always satisfied. He is always there for you, whenever you need. If you have any problem, He can help you. You will always be happy and satisfied with God.
b) World's "love" Never satisfies
If your "love" is never satisfied, you are certainly experiencing this world's "love" If in the absence of the other person you feel unhappy or miss him/her too much, it is very likely that you are dependent on the other person and that you are addicted to him/her. You will never be satisfied, since the other person him/herself is also trying to be satisfied by you. This is a very deadly kind of relationship where you can become so dependent in the other person that even when you brake you want to go back, and if you do, it begins all over gain. It is a deadly cycle and it is very unlikely to have an end, unless you definitely finish with the relationship.
In summary, the "love" of this world is self-centred. It basically makes someone else your god. People become god's to each other. They worship one another and expect each other to be perfect and satisfy all their needs. It is easy to see that, when they say "s/he is meant for me", "s/he is my soul mate"or "we have everything in common". They look to their souls and worship themselves. Even if one person is focused on God, if the other is not, the relationship will eventually finish, because it is imperfect and its basis are weak.
In a Godly kind of relationship, both people are focused on God. They are focused in God within each other. God is within everyone of us. His spirit dwells in us and our spirit is one with His spirit. In a spiritual relationship, both people are focused on God within themselves. They don't focus on their souls, but on their spirits. In this way, they don't become dependent on each other. Instead, they really bless each other and people around them. Be it a serious spiritual relationship where two people get married or a normal fellowship with a believer, we should always seek Him.
God's Love is limitless. It is for everyone. It does not possess. It is abundance and it never ends. The "love" of this world is limited and makes people co-dependent, gods to one another.
1 John 4:16
"6 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him."
How to develop your relationship with God and your fellowship with brothers:
There are some basic things we should look for in a spiritual relationship:- Intimacy: which is basically to spend time with someone. With God, He is in us, so we can easily be intimate. It is not just talking with someone, but mainly being in the presence of someone else. It is through our actions that we show Love, not through our words.
- Listening: Many times it is more important to listen to someone then to simply talk with that person. We always need to be listening and trying to understand each other.
- Caring: To be emotionally involved with one another and being there for each other.
Interdependence:[/B] I Love you, you Love me. I serve you, you serve me. We don't need each other but we enjoy being together. - Giving: Giving is the way our Love express most clearly. It doesn't even need to be something physical, or something big, just an expression of our Love.
- Forgiving: We are not perfect. When we do a mistake, we should forgive each other. Anyone is perfect besides God, anyone could have done the same mistake.
1 John 3:18
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.?
Apart from Loving God, it is also by loving our brothers that we Love God:
1 John 3:17
"7 But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?"
1 John 4:20
"20 If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen."
But when we focus on God, it is much easier to Love our brothers, since we are not seeing the sins and imperfections of our brothers, but God Himself, within our brother. This is the secret for Loving without judging. The same thing for loving your enemies. You don't see the sins and imperfections of your enemies, you see the promises God has for them. That's how you can easily Love your enemies.
1 John 4:12
"2 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us."
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